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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not care what and how much ds eats at nursery?

41 replies

ikeaismylocal · 04/09/2014 06:30

I do the vast majority of nursery pick ups. If there has been an issue or if ds has done something new I get told but otherwise it's a general "all went well today" if I ask what they ate for lunch and how much ds ate they tell me but I don't tend to ask as I don't see that it makes any difference to the rest of the day.

If he's hardly eaten any lunch I offer him dinner exactly as I would if he'd eaten a huge lunch, I don't worry about his food intake, I believe that if he's hungry he'll eat, we give him varied balanced meals, we can't do more than that.

Dp often asks me what ds has eaten for lunch and how much he ate and I say it don't know, I didn't ask. Aibu not to really concern myself with what and how much ds has eaten?

OP posts:

Itsjustmeagain · 04/09/2014 06:34

Yanbu I always think it's weird that before I leave our nursery details what time they changed her nappy and a description.

11am wet
1pm dirty
3pm wet

I mean if they thought she had an upset tummy I see why they would but I don't get the point on a daily basis.

BikeRunSki · 04/09/2014 06:42

I agree. As long as the dc are alive and well when I pick them up, that's all I need to know. Happy is good too. It must take them ages to write out all the daily records.

Backtobedlam · 04/09/2014 06:47

It's on OFSTED thing I think-they have to document a lot of (useless) information. Like you say I'd hope that they would say if they thought your child was a bit off colour, or generally not eating well, but you never know!

LiberalLibertines · 04/09/2014 06:53

No YANBU, like you say if he was hungry he'd soon tell you.

Original poster

ikeaismylocal · 04/09/2014 06:56

We aren't in the uk so there isn't the same documentation, it does seem like a faff to have to describe every nappy. His teacher mentions his nappies if they have been different from usual (once there was a bright blue one as ds had eaten a crayon )

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/09/2014 07:02

Yanbu

Unless there's a medical reason like child is on special diet or constipated or under observation there's no need to know surely. I see this at Dds nursery. The same woman expecting to know how much her grandchild ate etc. Seriously surely you. have planned dinner anyway by the afternoon?

I could almost handstand a baby but when your talking three and four year old sure my the answer is "he ate three woodlice and drank the plant pot dish"

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 04/09/2014 07:05

It's useful if you're picking up after lunch and then going out and about, so you are prepared for needing refuelling if they skipped lunch. It's important if they push their supper away to know whether that's one meal or two that they've skipped. And it's vital if something new doesn't agree with them.

Artandco · 04/09/2014 07:09

I think it's different if they only eat lunch at nursery. Many children in uk eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at nursery, so you need to know incase you take home and put straight to bed assuming they have eaten when they may have eaten barely anything.

Same for nappies. If child is in nursery 8-6 you may assume they have pooed etc there if not at home. However if they tell you only wee then you can see quicker if they may be constipated or similar

jamespurefoygf · 04/09/2014 07:24

I would want to know!

Re the nappies - that's fine if everything is well but if a child is not pooing much at home you'd need to know if they did at nursery.

And food - well I wouldn't offer a roast chicken supper if they had had something similar for lunch.

MrsMook · 04/09/2014 08:54

My DSs eat all by default. Then come home ravenous, requiring snacks because they can't last until dinner. This is after a full day of 3 meals and snacks. (They are lean and very active) Sometimes I will ask with a smile "did they eat all of everything?"

I suppose with their digestive systems affected by allergies, we get the more exciting end of the nappy conversation. Ds1 had to have the baby bath taken in. You knew how the conversation would go from the number of nappy sacks of clothes in the bag...

PisforPeter · 04/09/2014 08:56

I like your attitude, just like mine!

mausmaus · 04/09/2014 09:00

with the nappies, I was always happy if the poo-plosion happened there and not on the bus home...

agree about the food. as long as there are no issues (foid alkergies, dodgy tummy for example) I couldn't care less.

Anotherchapter · 04/09/2014 09:00

I actually like to know,

Whether they actually tell you the truth is another thing!

When I looked through my dd log book she had been eating lovely meals and having shitty nappies on day she wasnt even there!!

EstellaSpitsEmOut · 04/09/2014 09:23

I like to know. DS suffers badly with constipation so I need to know nappies and he's not been sleeping well, so nap times and length are useful to see a pattern.

As for food, I'm just intrigued to know if he eats things at nursery that he rejects at home (quite often). Although I'm not always convinced they are telling the truth! And to know if I should offer him a snack or meal when he gets home.

As for activities, I not too bothered with that. Evidence is usually all over him.

Original poster

ikeaismylocal · 04/09/2014 09:24

I think I'd also want to know if ds had allergies/intolerances or was a hesitant eater. He has some days where he will eat like a horse and some where he'll pick at the food and hardly eat anything, I just offer him his meals at the usual time regardless of how the last meal went (I am not sure if that's what your supposed to do) we tend to eat quite different food to the food at nursery, that food is all vegetarian and often things like bulger salad which we don't tend to cook at home, sometimes he probably does eat the same thing for lunch and dinner but he seems ok with the arrangement.

I'll tell dp I'm not the only mum who is not worried about not hearing the ins and outs of their child's food/nappy routine.

OP posts:

firstchoice · 04/09/2014 09:36

better than no info, I suppose.

my children weren't in nursery but at playgroup (age 2.5 yrs) when they were beginning to transition out of nappies, I noticed every single time I collected them they had apparently 'just' soiled their nappies.

Then I was a volunteer and noticed how any child who soiled themselves in the 4m before end of playgroup when the leaders were tidying up, was simply left soiled for parent to deal with upon collection

I don't know if records are supposed to be kept at that age and this is in Scotland so different system but there was certainly potential for the carers to leave children soiled for the best part of an hour.

Of course, the nursery could be not telling the truth anyway, as another says above .

MrsWinnibago · 04/09/2014 09:39

YANBU. I am exactly the same as you and think an awful lot of people create anxiety over food when there is no problem. I just don't understand it.

OneSkinnyChip · 04/09/2014 09:39

You are entitled not to care but personally I like to know. I want to know if DD has done her dirty nappy for the day and if she hasn't eaten much lunch I would probably keep an eye on what she ate for dinner. Not much lunch AND not much dinner means she is probably teething or about to come down with a cold. It's a good early warning system IME!

rocketjam · 04/09/2014 09:48

I think that some parents request it, and it's easier for staff to write it down for everyone rather than thinking who has requested the info and when. I am a child-minder and I always write what we eat, and it's many parents comment that the child had never eaten that before so it's great. Or the fact that they eat something at my house but refuse to eat it at home. It's not mandatory (I think that many nursery publish their menu online or give it to parents on request). But it's mandatory to offer good healthy food.

When weaning it's particularly important just in case the child reacts badly or has a bad tummy in the evening/at night following a specific type of food.

Original poster

ikeaismylocal · 04/09/2014 09:53

That's terrible that they were left in a dirty nappy I have never collected ds with a dirty nappy, I wouldn't be impressed.

I do love to hear about the things he has done, especially who he played with or little phrases or new words he has used.

OP posts:

Lucked · 04/09/2014 09:54

I have friends who keep those slips of paper in larger folders, mine don't even make it to the car as I bin them.

I do want to know what they have eaten though, we get sent the months menus but it is hard to keep track, I don't really want to offer them tomato pasta or curry if that is what they had for lunch. Also he is pretty hungry on soup days so might make him a bigger portion.

My main interest is how well he has napped, makes a big difference to how 'fun' bedtime will be.

primarynoodle · 04/09/2014 09:57

yanbu if they just read from the book you take home with all the information written down...

I can read!

JockTamsonsBairns · 04/09/2014 10:01

Good point about telling the truth. I once picked Ds up unexpectedly early from nursery at 12 rather than the usual 5pm. I was surprised to read his diary when I got home, as he'd apparently had a nap between 1.30 and 2.20 then eaten all of his snack at 3pm - crackers, cheese, and even detailed the number of grapes he'd had!

LittleBearPad · 04/09/2014 10:02

Yanbu. I really don't care whether she had pasta or salmon for lunch. I would care if she was off her food but they'd have rung earlier about that.

Dd is perfectly willing to tell me she's hungry.

LittleBearPad · 04/09/2014 10:04

Though we don't get diaries or anything. Being told she's had a good day whilst she bimbles round in the mud (finds it wherever she is) is sufficient.

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