Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think Dh is being a dick. Aibu?

35 replies

Cluffyflump · 01/09/2014 16:42

I'm ill.
Rotten bug that started as a cold, then a sick bug yesterday I couldn't move without throwing up and couldn't stay awake. I spent the whole of Sunday sleeping and vomiting Envy
Now I'm a bit better today. Have kept some water and dry bread down but passed out earlier and having bouts of dizziness and sickness.
Dh had to go off to work and we have 2 smallish dcs at home (6&3) so I've had to look after them. I've basically slumped on sofa and crawled to the kitchen to get them junk food.
I asked Dh what time he could get home as I can't really do dinner and he went mental at me!
He has form for being arsey when I've been unwell before.
I think I've done very well today and if anything he should be being nice.

OP posts:
Twitterqueen · 01/09/2014 16:45

He is being a dick.

sorry you're not feeling well. Even at 3 and 6 though, children do understand that 'Mummy is poorly ' and will try to behave. They won't mind to much as long as you're there - even if incapable of doing much.

Lilicat1013 · 01/09/2014 16:47

He is being a dick, make sure he gets to clean up the sick when the children get it.
I hope you feel better soon.

MrsHathaway · 01/09/2014 16:48

Get well soon. I have a 6 and a 3 and that's challenging when you are well.

He won't help. Give them Coco Pops and ice lollies for tea - they'll be fine - and go to bed when they do.

KneeQuestion · 01/09/2014 16:48

He is a dick.

MagpieMama · 01/09/2014 16:49

He's being a dick!

CromerSutra · 01/09/2014 16:50

Yanbu he is being horrible. I hate to hear about partners who are nasty when the other is ill, it's so unkind. Hope you feel better soon darling xx

LineRunner · 01/09/2014 16:51

My ExH was like this. To be ill is to be lazy, in his self centred world.

It's bloody awful. Sorry.

On a practical note, make toast. Or just given them juice and biscuits, or bread and milk.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 01/09/2014 16:51

Unless he gets it and appreciates the severity of it, he doesn't sound likely to be sympathetic. It wasn't self inflicted and it's hardly a lovely day off so he's not being fair.

CromerSutra · 01/09/2014 16:52

Oh my god! I did not mean to write "my darling"! Sorry, I was thinking of my dd while typing! Sorry!

DialsMavis · 01/09/2014 16:53

Ex DP was vile when I was Ill (extremely infrequently, I am exceptionally stoic), why are they like this?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 01/09/2014 16:54

What a dick. How utterly selfish and uncaring.

Vitalstatistix · 01/09/2014 16:56

I think it's sad that you even have to ask if you are being unreasonable to think that your husband ought to care about you when you're ill and want to help you.

No, you are not being unreasonable.

AlpacaLypse · 01/09/2014 16:58

Isn't there a bit in the BCP marriage service about In Sickness and in Health?

Definitely he's being an arse.

LineRunner · 01/09/2014 16:59

DialsMavis, good question. Is it a control thing? Tied in with selfishness maybe.

My new(ish) OH is so sweet when I am unwell. I am still Shock at his solicitations.

Original poster
Cluffyflump · 01/09/2014 17:01

I knew it!
I was half expecting everyone to tell me to woman up and ask if I wanted a medal for looking after my own dc I do.
I am so truly fed up with his attitude.
He phoned not long after I posted and said sorry.
I am still hacked off despite his apology. Yesterday I felt worried about being unwell because I could predict his reaction.
I can't understand it. I'm not some sort of hypochondriac, nor am I ill often.
Dc have been so lovely today so I have been lucky. Shame about their father Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Cluffyflump · 01/09/2014 17:05

CromerSutra,
I quite liked the 'darling' bit! Grin

OP posts:
seasavage · 01/09/2014 17:05

He is being a dick.
Passing out is a worry. Are you improving?
Have you managed any fluids.

DialsMavis · 01/09/2014 17:12

Control and seeing their partner as an appliance maybe, I get pissec off when my vacuum cleaner plays up mad doesn't serve me in the manner I expect it to. I hope ypu feel better soon Cluffy. The lovely DC will enjoy being fed crap for a day.

CromerSutra · 01/09/2014 17:13

Ok then darling, take care and feel better soon! X

SanityClause · 01/09/2014 17:20

Could you manage beans on toast for them?

I bet your 6yo could do most of that, themselves, with a bit of supervision.

That doesn't mean I don't think your H is being a dick. He is. And he should be rushing home to make them dinner, and to look after you. That would show he really meant his "sorry".

SocialMediaAddict · 01/09/2014 17:23

Order them a pizza. Hope you feel better.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 01/09/2014 17:23

I have what you have and feel your pain, last night was horrible. Dh had to work but has just got back and made me a nice cup of tea, he's also popping out to get tomato soup and crackers. He left for work at 4 this morning. Ex h used to react badly to me being ill.

The fact that you could have predicted this reaction hints that he isn't just having a bad day.

Sabrinnnnnnnna · 01/09/2014 17:24

I had a similar thing last week, felt like I was at death's door.

Thankfully, dc are a little bit older, so were basically able to be feral for the day, helping themselves to (god knows what for) lunch etc. Dh left work early, sorted dinner ordered pizza for them, and cleaned up a bit. I was so, so grateful - but this really is/should be the norm when a partner is ill, isn't it?

YADNBU. Your dh is a dick. Hope you feel better soon.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/09/2014 17:29

Throw up in his favourite shoes. He deserves it.

XiCi · 01/09/2014 17:33

Dick isn't a strong enough word for him. Why are you with someone like this? I really just don't understand why people put up with arsehole behaviour . Did you ask him why he was behaving like that? And is he coming back to help or did you basically get told to fuck off?
Hope you're feeling better soon, when you're feeling stronger I would let him know in no uncertain terms how out order he is