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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I think Dh is being a dick. Aibu?

35 replies

Cluffyflump · 01/09/2014 16:42

I'm ill.
Rotten bug that started as a cold, then a sick bug yesterday I couldn't move without throwing up and couldn't stay awake. I spent the whole of Sunday sleeping and vomiting Envy
Now I'm a bit better today. Have kept some water and dry bread down but passed out earlier and having bouts of dizziness and sickness.
Dh had to go off to work and we have 2 smallish dcs at home (6&3) so I've had to look after them. I've basically slumped on sofa and crawled to the kitchen to get them junk food.
I asked Dh what time he could get home as I can't really do dinner and he went mental at me!
He has form for being arsey when I've been unwell before.
I think I've done very well today and if anything he should be being nice.

OP posts:
StackladysMorphicResonator · 01/09/2014 17:34

Drink lots of Brew and make him do everything as soon as he gets in the door - take yourself off to bed so he can't stomp about or ask you do 'just' do x or y.

Cluffyflump · 01/09/2014 17:36

Ta CromerSutra!
Thank you for all the get well soons and I hope you feel better soon LumpySpacedPrincess.
Dh is on route with ready meals for dc. He would usually be back at 4.30ish.
I've kept some plain bread down but not having much luck with fluids. I can tell I'm dehydrated, I've suffered HG three times.
Fainting was scary and I was lucky to not do any real harm to myself as I was actually coming down the stairs at the time!

OP posts:
LumpySpacedPrincess · 01/09/2014 18:01

Have you got some ginger tea, if you sip it really slowly that seems to stay down and help with the queasiness. Is he an ass about other stuff or only this? Make sure he knows that it's completely unacceptable behaviour.

Littlef00t · 01/09/2014 18:14

Wow what an arse! I had this bug last week and DH was asking if he should take the day off work in a new job to help me look after dd 6mths. He worked from home in the end and started early so he could take over at 3.

Not saying your DH should do this, but he should be doing everything to make your life easier.

Sod's law he'll come down with it next, and expect to be waited on hand and foot while you're still recovering.

SWIMTHECHANNEL · 01/09/2014 18:22

Look on the bright side: he's going to get it from you, and you can pop out for lunch with friends since he'll be on hand to look after the kids. If you can parent while ill, he can too.

limitedperiodonly · 01/09/2014 18:31

You poor thing.

Of course he's being a dick. Not only because he's being horrible to you, but because he's stupid with his DC's health and his own. What kind of idiot wants someone who's been vomiting to make dinner?

I don't blame you for making the children food because that's your only option - but still.

I'm glad he's apologised, but I don't blame you for still being angry. In fact, I'm glad you are.

Passing out is bad and any sensible person would be worried about you and your children - are you sure you're ok?

Get well soon. A talk is in order when you feel better.

Sometimes people are harsh on illness in others because they fear their own frailty. That's not to excuse him at all. If that's his reasoning he's a deluded coward. We all get ill. Some of us very seriously. How we deal with it and how we deal with it in our partners is the measure of us.

It could happen to him tomorrow. It might even be festering inside him right now. You might decide to rethink that in sickness or in health bit of the marriage vows. Do tell him that.

It'll give him something to think about when he wakes up in a sweat at 4am Grin

Anyway, have bread and tinned soup and sleep.

sashh · 01/09/2014 18:44

I had an ex who reacted like this if I was ill. Of course if he was ill he couldn't be left alone.

If you can afford it book a baby sitter for tomorrow, even if it is just for an hour or two so you can have a nap.

Are you well enough to call a take away for the kids? Or have a neighbour who could come in and make toast or something?

XiCi · 01/09/2014 19:20

Make sure you breathe all over him when he's asleep tonight Smile

Cluffyflump · 02/09/2014 11:51

I'm feeling tones better today Smile
I haven't got any ginger tea LumpySpacedPrincess. I did have some bought for me when I was pg. along with those wrist bands, 10000 ginger biscuits and every other kind of anti sickness stuff. I remember completely losing it and threatening to cut contact (for life) with anyone who even suggested anything ginger or that pregnancy wasn't an illness! I think I may have been a tad unreasonable..

I am still resentful.
I'm not usually one to sulk or hold a grudge.

Dh was pretty crap in both pregnancies and whenever I'm unwell.
The 'in sickness and in health' part of our marriage vows has been playing on my mind.
I am quite sure he doesn't see me as an appliance, but whatever it is with him, it doesn't make me feel too optimistic.

OP posts:
AlpacaMyBags · 02/09/2014 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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