To want to see my nephew?

[StuntNun]

My DB had a baby last November, my first 'blood' nephew although I already have a niece and a nephew on my DH's side. It was a complicated and traumatic delivery so when DB and DSIL didn't want visitors right away I understood. However, since then any tentative suggestions that I could visit have been politely but firmly rebuffed. I texted my DB last weekend to say that I could get cheap flights to come over for a weekend this month and I would stay overnight at the hotel near them. He replied that it wasn't convenient until December at the earliest! I have the strong suspicion that in December it will be 'too close to Christmas' and I will be fobbed off yet again. At this point I just think I may as well call the whole thing off and stop asking whether I can visit.

AIBU to want to visit my DB and DSIL and meet my nephew?

I think with things being as bad as they are there is very little chance they can get any worse so I'd be grabbing the bull by the horns and saying to my brother - what the hell is going on here?

Some of these posts have made me wish I'd tried to be vague about DS4's medical issues and just say we were respecting his privacy but at the time we didn't think to. Now we have family members with their opinions and hand wringing about everything and it's so draining.

He does appear to be unreasonably difficult though, you cannot phone him at work (fair enough), he prefers to have phone calls on Sunday mornings? Really, he lives his life like that?

Also, you can surely visit, but they don't have to discuss his health issues with you? I agree with you, it is odd, but I am pretty certain that your mum will know xx

Also Waiting, hope you don't think i was criticising at all xxx Good to have an update xx

Just read this whole thread and can't get my head around this, Stunt. Belfast is a bloody small place, it takes effort to keep stuff quiet. It's two degrees of separation between pretty much everyone that lives here fgs. The fact that your mum lives in the same city (which you can cross in twenty minutes) and she's only seen her grandson a few times is really odd, considering there's no estrangement and the family is in regular contact. To know that your son is going through a stressful time with his own child's health and that he won't (or can't) confide in you, that's got to hurt any parent. I don't blame the woman for climbing the walls.

The type of comments he's made in passing to you are telling- saying things like "it'll set her off again" once might be a slip of the tongue, but using them repeatedly suggests there's an underlying issue there. The gradual detachment since the wedding also points towards this being less about their DS's health and more about SIL's interactions with other people. Irregardless if it's social anxiety, PND, issues with their baby's health or even an abusive relationship, the only thing you can do is say to your brother, "I love you and if you want to talk I'm always here for you".

Hope you get over soon and get whatever comfort you need.

Craic the brother and SIL live in London

No, I think the DB, SIL and mother all live in NI and the OP lives in London.

I had a trip planned to London a few months ago, that unfortunately got cancelled, and my DB suggested at the time that he could bring DNephew to meet me while I was there.

Oh, sorry, I misunderstood!

Sorry for the confusion, I'm in NI, DB is in London, parents and other DB are in Manchester.