Hello,
This is my first post and I'm posting as I really need help.
I'm going to have my second baby soon. My first labour was horrific, abusive and traumatising. Before that I had a history of sexual abuse. I've also subsequently had a traumatic botched coil fitting which ended up requiring hospital treatment.
As a result this time I'm refusing:
- all vaginal examinations
- any medical staff to touch or look between my legs
- assisted third stage of labour (I'm want the physiological option)
- post labour examination for tearing.
I've been seeing a midwife councellor and I have a consultant because this birth will be a VBAC. All staff at the hospital are adamant that my consent will be sought before any proceduce and that they will make it as comfortable as possible but that I am not permitted to not consent. Does that make sense? In effect I have to do it! Finally today, after much harrasment from me and from the staff they have agreed to my wishes but say I must come in to hospital and sign a document saying all negative outcomes (ranging from maternal and/or fetal death to tearing) are a direct result of my choices. I've also had one midwife tell me that labours without vaginal examinations usually result in dead babies.
I've provided the hospital with NICE, WHO, Lancet and Cochrane Report papers to support the safety of my decision and provide information on how to make things safer but they won't read them.
I'm glad they've finally agreed not to force me (this happened with my first labour) but I stilll need support to help find alteratives to make things actually safer and make me feel safer, calmer and less under seige. My baby will need NICU observations after birth so I'm keen to give birth in the hospital with the NICU. My babies consultant says her complications won't effect the actual birth.
Please help. Does anyone have similar experiences or information.