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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To appear to have been only one not invited...

47 replies

fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 22:45

From our group of friends to a lets say party? I don't want yo be too specific and out myself.

My friends said a while back she was sorry I wasnt invited as numbers were limited. I thought she'd just invited another group of friends I do 't know well, with some overlapping.

It now transpires she invited most of our group and not me. Wah.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 22/08/2014 22:48

That's awful, is she someone your close to!

Bigbottomtwirl · 22/08/2014 22:48

Most of your group or all of your group?

AgentZigzag · 22/08/2014 22:50

It's shit feeling like you're being left out, you can't help but wonder why.

Are the people who were there the type you can well believe would leave someone out on purpose?

If it was on purpose then it'd suggest they were all prepared to not mention it to you, is that plausible from what you know of them?

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 22:50

Most off, but the other two, one i know she dislikes and one she doesnt know well. Sad

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Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 22:52

In the end only two people from our group ended up going and they overlap with other group.

OP posts:
Bigbottomtwirl · 22/08/2014 22:52

That's shit then. What do your other friends think about it?

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 22:53

I don't know, one friend just told me she'd been invited, just stating fact and the other friend who was there at the time didn't say much.

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Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 22:55

Worst bit is organiser friend, tried to day that she had invited me. When Sadinfact shed actually apologised for not inviting me and turns out invited most of our circle.

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Aeroflotgirl · 22/08/2014 22:59

That's shit, I would distance myself from her

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 23:00

Agree aero ..... Very sad

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Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 23:01

I'm gutted, thought we were friends.

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Lovelydiscusfish · 22/08/2014 23:06

Sounds quite shit. Was the event something that required limited numbers, for any reason?

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 23:08

Tickets

OP posts:
MintyChops · 22/08/2014 23:17

Sounds hurtful and a bit shit of her.

Lovelydiscusfish · 22/08/2014 23:19

She'd bought tickets for some external event, or was she running a ticketed event?

CromerSutra · 22/08/2014 23:20

Sorry, fabulous. Something like that happened to me last month. Ouch , it really hurt. I received an email connected to a hobby I take part in and attached to it were photos of a big party that someone had had that I wasn't invited to. It was someone I considered a really good friend.

After feeling sad for a few days I cheered up, we've seen each other since then, she knew I knew and I sort of dismissed it as nothing. What else can you do? Privately though I don't feel the same about our friendship. It hurts and I feel for you.

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 23:25

She'd been given tickets. Sorry cromersutra , its horrible. How can you carry the friendship on do you think? I mean, they clearly don't yhink much of us.

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CromerSutra · 22/08/2014 23:36

Well in this case I did SORT of believe her when she said it was never meant to be a big thing and sort of got a bit out of hand. But there was a comment attached to the email that upset me more than the photos something like "what an amazing bash we all had". I don't know really, I really like her. I've had health problems so haven't been taking part in that hobby as much as I 'd have liked so I guess it was "out of sight is out of mind".

Still thinking about it really.

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 23:37

Ahh I see. Its tough especially when you like the person.

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AgentZigzag · 22/08/2014 23:43

If there were only limited tickets, could she have chosen not to ask for a reason other than she didn't want you to be there? Like if you've had childcare problems in the past when they've asked you out, or she thought it wasn't your kind of thing but it was friend Cs think so they asked her?

Don't necessarily take it as her giving you the brush off or being shitty, it's possible she could be mortified if she thought you thought that about why you weren't asked.

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 23:47

agent Nope it was something, she knew I'd like. No issue with childcare. The more I think about the more I think she just isn't that into me. Thats ok. Hurtful but I'll get over it.

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Lovelydiscusfish · 22/08/2014 23:48

How many tickets was she given? Was it dead tight for numbers? I'm not defending her - clearly you are close enough that the leaving out was hurtful. But just wondering if there could have been some reasoning going on here on her part? Did she possibly, for example, offer them to the people she thought would be most in to the experience? Or most likely to be able to go? (seems like she got it wrong, in either case, and I am sorry you are hurt.)

Lovelydiscusfish · 22/08/2014 23:49

Sorry, cross posts.

Original poster
fabulousfour · 22/08/2014 23:51

lovely Its seems she just choose who she wanted to take... Im obviously not up there. Also get the feeling she may have told oyhers not to say anything as another friend aaid, you myst invite fab as she'd love that.

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CromerSutra · 23/08/2014 00:09

Yeah, that's it really in a nutshell isn't it. Not a hanging offence by any means but equally not something you can just brush off immediately.