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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a little passive aggressive/bitchy?

57 replies

Fanfeckintastic · 19/08/2014 14:57

I was in the playground with DD earlier and got chatting to a mother of one of the children DD was playing with. Almost straight away she kind of did a really patronizing but still totally polite laugh and said God fair play to you getting all dressed up for the playground, I couldn't be bothered with all that! I just laughed it off but she brought it up again, though not rudely I just got a nasty vibe from it like she was laughing at me. For reference I was wearing a €7 dress from Primark, black tights, biker jacket and flat boots?! Hardly red carpet material!

But then she saw me waving to a woman I used to work with who was with a friend and she sighed/laughed and said "Oh Jesus more movie stars" before moving off.

I'm annoyed with myself for being annoyed but it's really riled me up, I would never comment on somebody's clothes/look other than to compliment them but it felt like she was totally making a laugh out of me or insinuating something I can't even put my finger on!

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 19/08/2014 14:58

Did you/do you have a full face of makeup on? Not that this would make her reasonable of course. But just looking for why she thought you were dressed up.

ChickenMe · 19/08/2014 14:59

Yeah it was defo a dig. She must've felt a bit inadequate. She was very transparent about it as well!

LadyLuck10 · 19/08/2014 15:00

I would just leave this in the playground. Not worth fretting over.

deakymom · 19/08/2014 15:01

be flattered she thinks you're a movie star (and slightly worried if your not that way inclined Grin)

phonebox · 19/08/2014 15:01

I would have taken it as a compliment Confused you clearly look nice!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 19/08/2014 15:02

You looked good.
Possibly she felt dowdy in comparison?

There was no need for her to be rude with her digs, she was being catty , just forget about her.

hesterton · 19/08/2014 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coumarin · 19/08/2014 15:05

She was having her own low self esteem issues and feeling crap about how she looked and took it out on you.

Your outfit sounds really nice btw. Just a nice casual day to day outfit that's well put together.

Ignore the sour caw.

Coumarin · 19/08/2014 15:06

Go in tomorrow wearing a faux fur coat and sunglasses.

YouTheCat · 19/08/2014 15:08

How very rude! Personally, I always look like I've just got up and slung any old thing on (even when I make an effort) but the most I would ever say about what anyone else was wearing to them would be a compliment about their clothes or asking where they got something.

Nomama · 19/08/2014 15:08

Oh brilliant! A good excuse for the flicky hair and 'this old thing?' response.

Practice in a mirror tonight and throw it at her next time.

It doesn't matter how insecure she feels, she fully intended to make you feel blech! Flounce on the bitch! FLOUNCE!

Merel · 19/08/2014 15:15

Agree it sounds like she felt like a scruff bag compared to your put together outfit, and indeed maybe has a chip on her shoulder about it for sone reason.
I'd take it as a compliment and back myself on the back for £7 well spent ;-)

BrainSurgeon · 19/08/2014 15:19

Hmmm.... I agree she has a problem (not you, clearly) but I find the exclamation :..more movie stars" quite rude. I can see why it riled. YANBU

Alphabollocks · 19/08/2014 15:22

If you see her again, tell her you are filming a reality TV show called 'What I Wear to the Playground' and that the film crew are hiding in the bushes. Then do a theatrical hair flounce, saying that you and DD are both going for a gel manicure and hair extension renewal at the beautician's afterwards.

Mrsgrumble · 19/08/2014 15:23

I don't think she was laughing at you. I think she's really really, really insecure. Aso she's not very smart and doesn't know when it's appropriate to keep ones thoughts to themselves.

I wear make up to the park. I have a friend who wears a wedding outfit even to a quiet pub. Do I say anything, no ! If she's happy I'm happy.

SorryForTheTypos · 19/08/2014 15:25

She was being rude (or just not very thoughtful about her words) but take it as a compliment!

I remember once someone being a bit disaparaging towards me along the lines of "oh I don't know how anyone with children has time for makeup" - right ok, so 10 seconds for tinted moisturiser with SPH, 20 seconds for mascara, 10 seconds for lip gloss, 10 seconds for blusher is a real burden on my time. Yep. Some people think their professional martyr badge will be taken away from them if they do anything "nice" for themselves - not that the woman you spoke to is necessarily like that, but the one who I'm referring to is!

ChoccaDoobie · 19/08/2014 15:25

She was being a bit silly and rude but weirdly I came across this myself today too! I have some neighbours who all had babies in the same few months, I invited them all over to meet each other and for a coffee. Months on two of them say they feel uncomfortable around the third new mum because she always looks slim and beautiful. This is true but the third mum is a really lovely person who isn 't the least bit vain. It's such a shame that they have made this assumption. Clearly some people feel uncomfortable around other women that they perceive as very attractive.

SaucyJack · 19/08/2014 15:25

I

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2014 15:27

Rude people with low self esteem, can sometimes act like that to make themselves feel better.

It's her problem, not yours. She's a rude cow.

Geordiegirl79 · 19/08/2014 15:28

Oh dear,that lady was not being very nice, but I think others are right, it says more about her insecurities than anything else. I am like you though, I dwell on other people's throwaway comments sometimes and can't stop thinking about them!

futureponyclubmum · 19/08/2014 15:28

Wierd comments, my wardrobe varies daily from between jeans and wellies to high heels and diamonds. Wear what you want, why should anyone else give a damn?? Fashion is there to be enjoyed.

Original poster
Fanfeckintastic · 19/08/2014 15:29

Haha thanks all, I'm glad it wasn't just in my head it definitely WAS bitchy!

I had been feeling really good too (I've lost almost 5stone and finally get to enjoy clothes) but she made me feel like I'm getting it all wrong Blush

Agh feck her!

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 19/08/2014 15:30

She sounds like a tedious mummy martyr to me. Some seem to wear looking as crap as possible as some sort of badge of honour to show their utter devotion to their offspring. Her ishoo anyway.

Next time, give your tits and arse a quick grope, say "Yes I am a complete MILF aren't i" and flick your hair in her face.

DemelzaandRoss · 19/08/2014 15:32

Just ignore these remarks & don't stand anywhere near her next time. Not worth getting steamed up about. Take it as a compliment.

Bettercallsaul1 · 19/08/2014 15:34

You obviously looked much nicer than you realised, OP! That Is good, surely? As someone who would always rather look too smart rather than be on the scruffy side, I'm with your style of dressing!

I would also have been comforted, rather than further riled, by the "movie stars" remark - it shows you personally weren't being singled out and that others too didn't exactly meet her sartorial standards! Safety in numbers and all that..!