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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to request petrol money?

42 replies

Glastogirl · 15/08/2014 08:52

Going away to today with some friends for a long weekend no kids and panicking.

It's about a 300 mile round trip and I'm driving as I have the biggest car.

AIBU to ask the others for petrol money? None of them have offered any and I'm not very confident so don't know if i can just come put and ask them directly.

I've dropped a few hints but none of them have picked up on it or are ignoring the hint on purpose.

Anyone got a nice way to ask? Grin

OP posts:
wtffgs · 15/08/2014 08:58

"I've mapped the route on Google and the petrol cost will be £x - so £x each. Can you let me have your share so I can afford to fill up? "

Smile

If they don't cough up straight away, leave them behind! Grin

HumptyWasPushed · 15/08/2014 08:58

I'd just ask upfront...'Are we splitting petrol costs?'

If they're real friends they won't have a problem with this.

PumpkinsMummy · 15/08/2014 08:58

drop a text saying " Hi all, really looking forward to our trip, hope everyones packed?! I will be filling up with petrol on the way up, and imagine it will be around £xxx so it will be about £x each to put in the kitty. Haven't got enough in my card for the whole thing so if we can pay in cash that would be great. Love x."

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 15/08/2014 08:58

Just tell them when you get in the car that you filled up before you left and their share is xx. And make sure you fill up at least once during the journey and ask them for their share, and again just before you get back home.

It wouldn't cross most peoples minds NOT to share cost - perhaps they plan to pay for other stuff in lieu? (Eg food/drink/hotel/....)

StealthPolarBear · 15/08/2014 08:59

You sure they won't just dash in and pay when you fill up? Whenever I take friends somewhere I tend to find that's what happens

appealtakingovermylife · 15/08/2014 08:59

Hi, I'm surprised nobody has offered to be honest.
I would give them a small window of opportunity to mention it to you first then make the point of going to the petrol station to see if anyone offers.
How many friends are going?
You could casually mention that although you have to pay for petrol ( you as in collectively) it would have been much more expensive to travel by coach/train etc times x amount of people and that this is a cheaper option, obviously assuming it is!
I would definitely offer petrol money for this, surely your friends will too.

HumptyWasPushed · 15/08/2014 09:00

But wtf wording is better. Smile

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/08/2014 09:00

Keep it breezy like:

Oi you lot Wink how about £20 [cost of fuel,I don't drive so ?] each for petrol, come on tight arses, cough up.

It's a cheek that they haven't offered so you'll have to.

DaisyFlowerChain · 15/08/2014 09:00

You'd have the same petrol costs if going alone so I'd wait for them to offer. They likely intend to or pick up another cost of the weekend.

redexpat · 15/08/2014 09:02

YANBU. How much will it cost you in total?

Everyone since I'm doing all the driving would you mind making a contribution to the petrol?

redexpat · 15/08/2014 09:03

Ignore mine, gives them the opportunity to say yes actually we do mind.

fairylightsintheloft · 15/08/2014 09:06

Daisy I really hate that argument. She isnt going alone. They are all benefitting from her driving. They can relax,do stuff during the long journey, she is doing approx 8-10 hrs of driving (in total). She can't know they are going to pay and it will be harder to raise it after the fact. OP just make sure you pick them up, then go to the pump and as you pull in say, right, so two tanks will be xx so thats x each ok? Have you got it on you now?

weeblueberry · 15/08/2014 09:08

I'd be inclined to say 'would you rather give me the petrol money in advance or just go halfers when it's time to fill up?'

Then they're not really in a position to do anything other than split it.

LizardBreath · 15/08/2014 09:12

If I were being driven by you I'd always offer petrol money when we were in the car on the way, or on way back. If you sent me a text calling me a tight arse before the trip (as suggested above) I'd be a bit miffed!

OddFodd · 15/08/2014 09:14

I'd just email and ask how people want to split costs? So maybe suggest that as you've paid for the petrol, someone else can pick up the tab for shopping and you'll split the difference at the end of the holiday? I'd always assume petrol costs are a general kitty thing - assume you're all going in one car as it's cheaper, not that you're subsidising everyone else!

HappyAgainOneDay · 15/08/2014 09:18

DaisyFlowerChain It might cost more to have a carful of people because there'll be extra weight with bodies and their luggage. It would still be cheaper than by coach or train or flying so the passengers ought to stump up a share per person.

Joysmum · 15/08/2014 09:19

I personally would let people know that you've been thinking about the fairest way to split petrol costs.

The easiest way is for you to fill your car to the brim before you start out and then to fill to the brim once you get back so you'll know exactly how much was used and that to be split X ways with no additional allowance for any other costs to be made.

FunkyBoldRibena · 15/08/2014 09:21

Of course you are not being unreasonable to ask for a cost to be split; I'd ask for it to be split between them as you are the one driving.

I'd possibly go to a petrol station and ask how they are splitting the petrol costs and if there were arguments they would be driven straight back home again.

DaisyFlowerChain · 15/08/2014 09:25

Lizard I'd be miffed too, especially as the OP seems to have mentioned it several times already via hints.

She won't know the true cost until she's been there and back and it will be less than a tank full anyway if the whole journey is 300 miles.

Maybe I just have friends that don't not pick over every penny and we just get on with it. We always do it fairly without looking mean

helpmesolveaproblem · 15/08/2014 09:25

i once went on holiday with my husband. he invited his friend and his wife.

we hired a car as well as taking mine....boys fishing in my car, us in the hire car sightseeing. I drove everywhere, every day. i bought all the petrol and everything.

at the end of the holiday the hire car had been damaged, and they wanted £350. they all stood there and let me pay. (i was the only one with any means to pay -credit card)

they never offered. i was so offended i never asked. Havent spoken to either of them for 10 years since the trip.

It was no loss to us (freeloaders asked DH if they could come away with us again...!)

FunkyBoldRibena · 15/08/2014 09:26

You'd have the same petrol costs if going alone so I'd wait for them to offer.

She would probably not be going on her own and if she was, would have costed the full cost of fuel into her calculations.

ZenNudist · 15/08/2014 09:28

Yanbu can you go and fill up as you go out and get them to pay then fill up on way back and ask for money again. Don't feel guilty if it's a bit over as you have done all the driving it's only fair.

IDontDoIroning · 15/08/2014 09:33

Are you going to be sharing good or other bills ? If so you could suggest a kitty for the petrol food etc.

Saying that the others MIGHT be planning to pay for something tale is a bit of a stretch if it hasn't been discussed. And anyway a bottle of cheap plonk or a cream tea probably won't be anyway near the costs of the petrol for a long round trip like that in a large fully laden car.

So how about a text - how are we splitting the costs do you want to have a kitty for the food and the petrol etc £xx each to start out as I've got to fill the car or do you just want to split the petrol ? Let me know before we leave as I'm going up fill up after I've picked you all up.

I think the she's going anyway argument is false because the others would still have had to drive/ bus /train and the OP said she's cm driving as she's got the bigger car so I assume the others have also got cars so could go by them selves.
Also you have to concentrate you can't doze off read a book play on your phone etc when driving so it's not as relaxing.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 15/08/2014 09:38

Whatever you do, don't fill up and ask for the money afterwards. Inform them how much it will be and that you will be going to the
Petrol station. People are notoriously forgetful when it comes to handing over money in my experience.

rollonthesummer · 15/08/2014 09:39

Is it this weekend? Get it sorted now, before they set foot in your car. Once the weekend is over, you won't get it back.

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