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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to request petrol money?

42 replies

Glastogirl · 15/08/2014 08:52

Going away to today with some friends for a long weekend no kids and panicking.

It's about a 300 mile round trip and I'm driving as I have the biggest car.

AIBU to ask the others for petrol money? None of them have offered any and I'm not very confident so don't know if i can just come put and ask them directly.

I've dropped a few hints but none of them have picked up on it or are ignoring the hint on purpose.

Anyone got a nice way to ask?

OP posts:

Original poster

Glastogirl · 15/08/2014 09:41

Exactly! And no we're not splitting any costs... All paying for everything ourselves! We'll meet with more people when we're there over the weekend (it's a work wedding). Most are sharing hotel rooms but I paid a bit extra to have my own!

OP posts:

ramrod757 · 15/08/2014 09:52

She won't know the true cost until she's been there and back

Why not? She should know roughly what kind of fuel consumption she'll get on a run and work it out. It's not rocket science! Without even knowing what car it is I can make a rough estimate of £45. I could tell you within a couple of pounds what either of my cars would cost to complete a particular journey.

fairylightsintheloft · 15/08/2014 09:53

In that case definitely be up front and specific about splitting the cost - and as the driver I'd be pretty miffed if they didn't shout me a coffee / lunch on the way as well. There is no embarrassment about this - why on earth should you meet the cost by yourself, or be "compensated" by a couple of drinks at the wedding?

rollonthesummer · 15/08/2014 09:55

If nobody is going to contribute then say you're getting the train, at least then you can read a book all the way!

Preciousbane · 15/08/2014 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rollonthesummer · 15/08/2014 10:15

When is the wedding, OP? How many are fitting in the car? Are they reliable friends who have pId their way before? What do you estimate it will cost?

If you don't feel comfortable asking for money, could your car have to go in for an emergency repair? Ring all the others and explain and say that you are desperately sorry and if anyone can drive-of course you'll pay £15/30 petrol (as that's what you'd estimated it to be) or you'll be getting the train.

Please don't just drive anyway, but not ask for money-you'll be really pissed off afterwards.

Tinkerball · 15/08/2014 10:18

Of course people should pay petrol money! It's extremely rude of them not to offer, don't even ack if they are going to give just work it out and divide it by the number of people. Use a fuel economy site or Michelin route planner, you can put in miles, size of engine etcetera, we did a road trip to Italy this year and it was very accurate.

LAlady · 15/08/2014 10:19

I go away with friends in September and one drives to the airport about an hour away. We all give petrol money - it would be rude not to. We put it in an envelope in her bag - she doesn't and shouldn't have to ask.

DamonAllbran · 15/08/2014 10:20

I go kayaking a lot & have a car full - I've never yet had anyone fail to offer.

I tend to fill up before we go, when we get there top the tank back up to full & double that cost - that's how much you've got to split between you.

Normally I don't end up paying for fuel at all as I'm doing all the driving and the ferrying around while we're there....

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals · 15/08/2014 10:22

I wouldn't discuss it with my friends until I'm in the car. I just ask how much they want when we're on our way.

No need for it to be a thing and they'd be incredibly presumptious to assume that you're lumping the cost - unless you're all loaded.

BloodyNaffedOff · 15/08/2014 10:23

I would text them all today and say 'Are we okay splitting the petrol costs x amount of ways? I reckon it will work out at about £10 (eg) each, is that okay? xx

Then it's a direct question that needs an answer and if they don't want to pay they will either say so or ignore it - if anyone ignores then you an send a follow up text saying 'We are okay splitting the petrol cost aren't we? I can't afford to fill up myself!! xx'

rollonthesummer · 15/08/2014 10:26

The thing with texting is that all of them could ignore both texts and then you are none the wiser and it's an unspoken 'issue'. Only you know what they're like though, OP.

Can you ring?

Boobsofsteel · 15/08/2014 10:30

Boring but true, the difference in MPG in my car with just me and DD vs with 2 extra passengers can be up to 20 miles.

I don't think it's rude to expect people to pay the difference on a journey that long.

ramrod757 · 15/08/2014 10:31

She has a brand new top of the range Audi

A V10 R8 Spyder - nice!

ramrod757 · 15/08/2014 10:34

Boring but true, the difference in MPG in my car with just me and DD vs with 2 extra passengers can be up to 20 miles

20 miles per tank maybe but not 20MPG.

HappyAsASandboy · 15/08/2014 10:42

300 miles is less than a tank in my car.

So I would send a text now, bright and breezy, asking whether they'd rather you worked out an approximate petrol cost from a google map distance, or whether they rather you started the trip full and they split the cost of refilling you at the end of the return journey.

To those saying to get them to pay for a full tank at the beginning and end, that would mean her friends double paying! The right thing to do is for them to put her back in the same position at the end of the trip - easiest if the start and end position is a full tank. But the friends only contribute to the second fill up!

Drquin · 15/08/2014 10:54

Me too Sandboy - it's about 3/4 tank for me, about £42 so I'd look for maybe a tenner per person for the trip.

To be blunt, I'd have sorted it out before now if you're truly fussed about it - if only because if I wanted to NOT take the car, either on principle or genuinely couldn't afford the petrol, it'd cost me more than the £42 on a train fare for the same distance at this short notice.

Depends on your relationship with the friends how you address it now - there's some I'd take a "oi tight arse ...." text from, and plenty I wouldn't ;-)

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