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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I probably am but I'm mad

26 replies

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 06/08/2014 06:49

My sil and her family never even acknowledged my birthday by sending a card or a text. That's fine. Been with DH 13 years so she knows when just decided she doesn't fancy sending her sil one I guess. DH has pissed me off this morning by saying he wants to send her a card with a picture of the kids in. I know I know be the bigger person but it really greats on me that he let's people treat me like shit yet bends over backwards for them. I know I'm being unreasonable but yeh so ermmm... AIBU GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
ElizabethArdenGreenTeax · 06/08/2014 06:51

Why send her a card? Is it her birthday?

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 06/08/2014 06:54

Oh yes that info may have helped

OP posts:
cathpip · 06/08/2014 06:57

I would feel the same op. Tell him if he wants to then fine but he does it, you will have nothing to do with it for exactly the reason you have stated above.

Littleturkish · 06/08/2014 06:57

Unless there is a backstory, not sending you a card isn't treating you like shit. YABU. It's just a card, and just a birthday.

MargotLovedTom · 06/08/2014 06:58

Well if your DH wants to send her a card then let him crack on with it. It might actually make her feel a bit guilty she ignored forgot your birthday.

Actually, being charitable, maybe she did genuinely forget.

Thumbwitch · 06/08/2014 06:58

Does she send your DH a card? If so, then let him send one but don't have anything to do with it yourself. IF she doesn't even send one for his birthday then she can fuck off.

Icimoi · 06/08/2014 06:59

She's your DH's sister. Why wouldn't he send her a card? And failing to send you a card doesn't amount to treating you like shit.

MargotLovedTom · 06/08/2014 06:59

Sorry, just noticed you said she's never sent you one.

Well, as I said, if your DH wants to do it then let him get in with it. I would try not to let it bother you.

MargotLovedTom · 06/08/2014 07:01

Obviously if this is symptomatic of a bigger problem you have with your DH then you need to get that sorted out.

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 06/08/2014 07:02

I just think it's a real deliberate snub to not even send someone you've been related to for 13 years a birthday card. Your own sister in law not just anybody.

OP posts:
StoorieHoose · 06/08/2014 07:06

Really? I never sent my ex sil a card on her birthday until Dd was born and then sent her an auntie one from dd

KnackeredMuchly · 06/08/2014 07:09

My mil doesnt send me cards, she's known me 12 years.

It's not a snub, they're just not big on birthdays.

wonderpants · 06/08/2014 07:21

My SIL (DH sister) doesn't send me a card but sends DH one.

DH sends his DSis a card.

We don't send a card to DH's Dsis's DH (BIL) though. Wouldn't even know his birthday!

We all send for the kids though!

No offence caused at all!

penguinplease · 06/08/2014 07:25

Grow up! Who cares about a bday card from another adult.. Yabu

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 06/08/2014 07:25

I wouldn't mind so much but it's the way he runs round after her. She is very self important though

OP posts:
tinkywinkyshandbag · 06/08/2014 07:26

I have never sent my sil card and i like her a lot. Shes dh sister so he does the card.

ithoughtofitfirst · 06/08/2014 07:54

You're not really being unreasonable as such but If your husband wants to sort it out just let him crack on I say. It will involve zero effort from you and it will make you look good. Winner! Grin

pinkdelight · 06/08/2014 08:12

We do the same as wonderpants. The siblings give each other cards but the in-laws don't. And honestly, we've been married 12 years and I only vaguely know when SIL and BIL's birthdays are and I'm sure they don't know the exact date of mine. We give pressies to each other's kids and that's the main thing. Grown up birthday card issues from in-laws is so not a big deal. Doesn't everyone just post 'happy birthday' on FB anyway?

gamerchick · 06/08/2014 08:15

I don't send cards to any if my inlaws and I doubt any of then know when my birthday is Grin

Let it go OP, it's your blokes family and he's dealing with birthdays as they should be done rather than it becoming your job.

He's allowed to send his own sister a birthday card.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 06/08/2014 08:17

Write the date of your birthday in the card Grin Incase she 'forgot'.

Wellwellwell3holesintheground · 06/08/2014 08:19

I never send anybody birthday cards.

Boleh · 06/08/2014 08:20

I haven't got the faintest clue when DPs sister's birthday is - I've only met her once, the 2nd time will be at her wedding! She did send DP a card for a recent big birthday but it would surprise me greatly if he'd sent one to her this year. Maybe I should find out in case she's secretly upset!

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 06/08/2014 08:27

There has to be more to this. Does she snub you in other ways? How else does your DH run around after her?

Otherwise you are BU

amistillsexy · 06/08/2014 08:34

Why does it have to be you sending the card, not your dh, since its his sister? Step away and tell him to do what he likes.

WooWooOwl · 06/08/2014 09:33

Your DH is right to treat people in the way he thinks is right without being influenced by what others do or don't do. Why should the way he behaves be changed by other people? That would just be petty tit for tat.

As long as he's going to sort out the card and the picture himself without expecting your input, then that's his choice.

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