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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want ds to have vaccinations before hold with exdh

66 replies

Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 16:22

My exdh has just announced he has booked a holiday to Morocco for 2 weeks time and is taking ds. My immediate thought was that vaccinations would be necessary and would there be time to get them done? I called nhs111 who advised to at least get malaria and HepA done.

My problem is really that both exdh and ds have thrown their toys out of the pram over this, (ds who is 15, has just stormed out, presumably to go and live with his father Hmm) as I am apparently being completely unreasonable about this. Exdh has told ds that no vaccinations are required as they are to be staying on a holiday resort....nhs111 say that vaccinations are necessary as hotel staff who come from outside the resort could possibly carry infections etc.

Ds has got very stroppy saying he just wants to have a good time and I'm trying to spoil it for him, dad knows best etc. etc. I feel I just can't win!!!

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 31/07/2014 16:23

Cant

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 31/07/2014 16:24

Cant really hold a 15yo down so Id wave them off and hope nothing comes of it.

WhyBeHappyWhenYouCouldBeNormal · 31/07/2014 16:24

Malaria is carried by mosquitos right? How are DS and Exdh planning on keeping bugs out of the resort? Ridiculous people.

kinkyfuckery · 31/07/2014 16:25

Does he not want the vaccinations, or could he not get them in time for the holiday?

WooWooOwl · 31/07/2014 16:27

We went to Morocco last year. The advice given to us by the GP surgery travel nurse was that malaria tablets and vaccinations other than those we have in this country anyway were not needed for the area we were going to.

I'd double check the current advice, maybe on the government foreign office website, just in case you are fighting a needless battle.

NHS direct (or 111 or whatever they're calling it at the mo) is known for being overly cautious with advice.

unweavedrainbow · 31/07/2014 16:29

Malaria is a course of pills and he would be very, very silly indeed to not take them both before and during his trip. What his dad does is up to him, but your ds is only 15-too young to make that decision.

Original poster
Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 16:29

Well I want to take ds but being 15 I can hardly force the issue. I assume there'll be a charge, which I'll have to pay as exdh insists they are not necessary. He has been texting ds and saying that he would not put his ds's and his new partners dd's health at risk now would he? So ds has a big downer on me atm, which I resent. ThinkIveBeenHacked, I think you're right, there's very little I can do to forced the issue.

OP posts:
FrankSaysNo · 31/07/2014 16:30

Malaria is via tablet not vaccinations.

I would let them get on with it.

wowfudge · 31/07/2014 16:30

I don't get it: you're spoiling his holiday by suggesting he get vaccinated against diseases before he goes?

Not sure which of them I think is most childish. HepA can be contracted from contaminated water so it doesn't matter one iota where the resort staff are from. There's also HepB and typhoid to think about. You cannot (yet) be vaccinated against malaria.

Neither of them has considered the consequences of contracting one of these diseases then?

FrankSaysNo · 31/07/2014 16:32

Hepatitis is free at a practicing NHS surgery.

The voice of experience, any pay for jab is £60 and usually a course of three. I got stung for a school trip to the tune of nearly £500 for vaccinations to Africa

wowfudge · 31/07/2014 16:34

Contact your GP's surgery and get their advice on vaccinations and malaria tablets for the specific place your DS is going. OP - you are his parent and he is a child at 15. I wouldn't give him the choice in your position - he has what is advised by the GP and that's the end of it.

Original poster
Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 16:35

Well wowfudge, I've just tried to point out the consequences to ds, but was met with tears of rage and now he has stormed out. Sad He is clearly his father's son. I feel devastated as I'm only looking out for his heath, it's my job as a dm surely? They go abroad every year so it's not that I'm trying to stop them having a good time, just worried about diseases.

OP posts:
HSMMaCM · 31/07/2014 16:40

DD is 15 and didn't even question having her jabs. Have you asked your son if he knows what malaria and hepatitis are like?

choochootrain1 · 31/07/2014 16:42

yanbu...

I'm baffled as to how it could be spoiling someone's fun?

If they were against vaccines for moral/religious/whatever else reasons I could understand there being an issue, but how on earth can they object to it on the grounds of spoiling their fun??

araiba · 31/07/2014 16:43

www.fitfortravel.nhs.uk/destinations/africa/morocco.aspx

says malaria isnt a problem

Monmouth · 31/07/2014 16:45

I don't think you need to take ant-malarial tablets for Morocco. I've been recently and it wasn't listed.

I'd ask the surgery, they are probably better informed than 111.

Original poster
Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 16:48

Thanks araiba, I'll check out that link. Just had a ranty text from xdh. Ds has gone round there whinging about me. ATM I'm of the opinion they deserve each other!!!

OP posts:
Idontseeanyicegiants · 31/07/2014 17:08

Which celebrity got malaria a while ago? Was it Cheryl Cole? Someone was fairly vocal all over the media about their experiences, would showing DS an article about it work?

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 31/07/2014 17:08

What exactly is the issue with being protected against illnesses? Are they weird adrenaline junkies to the point of a holiday not being a holiday unless there's a strong risk of serious illness or death involved? Hmm Or does he have a fear of injections?

Can't understand why they're being babies about this!

Original poster
Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 17:12

Exdh is very impulsive and booked the holiday last minute as is his way, I think without researching. Think ds is a bit scared of injections so it may be a reason he's reacted so strongly. Just wish I didn't always end up the baddie! Neither of them are good at seeing others point of view. Sad

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2014 17:16

It's a really good idea to get HepA and B anyway. I work in homelessness and I travel and you might as well get both just in case.

I have been to Morocco and don't remember malaria raising it's head at all. Anti-malarials aren't nice (some of them) so better to check if they are needed before fighting that battle.

RidgyTipper · 31/07/2014 17:20

Malaria is not an issue in Morocco.

Original poster
Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 17:21

Thanks for your input everyone. I think I'm most upset about the fact that me being a caring mum has resulted in such a huge upset. Maybe I should just resolve not to give a f**k in future. Hmm

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 31/07/2014 17:24

Well their reaction is ridiculous but I'm not sure 111 are right. Neither were recommended when we went to morroco

Ladymuck · 31/07/2014 17:27

So are you saying that ds can't go on the holiday because there isn't time to sort this out?

I would definitely get ds to talk to his GP rather than rely on NHS111 for travel vaccination advice. Hep A and anti-malaria tablets are ime very unusual for a trip to a resort in Morrocco. Nathnac (the UK National Travel Health Network) doesn't think that Malaria is an issue at all. Does your son have long term health issues which means that he is particularly at risk? Either way, talk to his GP, not NHS111, as his GP will have his full medical history. Or check whether there is a travel clinic near you. You may well find that the process of trying to get him vaccinated flags up the fact that it may not strictly be necessary.

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