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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want ds to have vaccinations before hold with exdh

66 replies

Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 16:22

My exdh has just announced he has booked a holiday to Morocco for 2 weeks time and is taking ds. My immediate thought was that vaccinations would be necessary and would there be time to get them done? I called nhs111 who advised to at least get malaria and HepA done.

My problem is really that both exdh and ds have thrown their toys out of the pram over this, (ds who is 15, has just stormed out, presumably to go and live with his father Hmm) as I am apparently being completely unreasonable about this. Exdh has told ds that no vaccinations are required as they are to be staying on a holiday resort....nhs111 say that vaccinations are necessary as hotel staff who come from outside the resort could possibly carry infections etc.

Ds has got very stroppy saying he just wants to have a good time and I'm trying to spoil it for him, dad knows best etc. etc. I feel I just can't win!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 17:59

Ds has just sent text saying he's not coming back from exdh's till Sunday. I feel so upset and hurt. I was only worried about his health. How come I've ended up the baddie? Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Thirdtry22 · 31/07/2014 18:02

Ladymuck - I would never say he could'nt go on holiday because of it, just expressed my concerns that he may need vaccinations, and it's caused all this fuss! Wish I'd never said anything at all now. Me and my big mouth! Thought I was being a good mum.

OP posts:
FantasticButtocks · 31/07/2014 18:06

Look at the Karpman Triangle re: Rescuer, Victim and Persecutor roles…

could be illuminating

Latara · 31/07/2014 18:07

OP - you are being a good mum. It's good that you have tried to help your son like this. One day he will appreciate it!

TwinkleDust · 31/07/2014 18:13

Step down now. You can't force a 15 year old.

I think a dignified, 'fine, as exDHs is happy to take responsibility, then I don't have anything more to add'.

BerniceBroadside · 31/07/2014 18:24

It's unlikely that the nhs could organise the jabs in time (plus there is a shortage of some), so if he does decided to go for jabs also try local pharmacies or travel clinics. I've used the sta travel clinic before as they offered weekend and evening appointments, which was more than my gp could manage.(Gave them eight weeks's notice and they still couldn't fit me in or get hold of the required vaccines.)

caroldecker · 31/07/2014 18:33

this suggests nothing extra is needed - maybe you're a baddy because you pissed on his holiday trip without the proper research

DogCalledRudis · 31/07/2014 18:42

Going to Morocco does not require vaccinations

Gryffindor · 31/07/2014 18:45

I know two people who contracted Hepatitis in Morocco. Both stayed in 5* hotels.

I've been twice and have come back very ill both times - stomach bugs that have required blood tests and medication back in the UK.

Gryffindor · 31/07/2014 18:47

Oh, and both people who contracted Hep had been vaccinated against it.

I, nor any of our mutual friends will be going to Morocco ever again after seeing how ill our friends were. And we are a very well travelled group.

DogCalledRudis · 31/07/2014 18:50

Isn't hep acquired through blood or sexual contact?
Food poisoning can happen anywhere really.

Gryffindor · 31/07/2014 18:50

OP I have DMd you

Gryffindor · 31/07/2014 18:51

You can contract Hep via food/drink - it's the faeces to oral route (think salad washed in contaminated water, seafood that had lived in dirty water etc).

rhubarbcrumbleplease · 31/07/2014 19:32

No vaccinations are an entry requirement to Morocco. To my knowledge Malaria isn't a problem.
Hep A vaccine (free at GPs) affords 20+ years protection so would be worth considering. Foreign travel advice is much more than just having jabs.
Would he go an have a chat with the travel nurse at your surgery? They could make the decisions together & he might feel more in control.

MrsBoldon · 31/07/2014 19:43

You don't 'need' vaccinations for Morocco but 111 always err on the side of caution because in an increasingly litigious society they have to cover themselves from even the most rare of occurrences.

And a 15 year old (assuming he is NT) is able to weigh up the advice and make a decision.

You're not the 'bad one'. You said what you thought was correct and it's up to your ex and your son to do what they want with that information. Don't press it, you've said your piece and you can leave it now.

Itsfab · 31/07/2014 19:48

I'd be asking him who is looking after the DS should he get ill..

Droflove · 31/07/2014 20:02

Firstly make absolutely sure the treatments are recommended for the region. Secondly I would say to your son that having his hep shots will have him covered for some of the very cool places he may wish to go in the next 10 yrs so they are worth getting done now anyway. As for Malaria, you cant get vaccinated. You can take various sets of tabs, different prices and differing stats for psychosis and other side effects but i would avoid where at all possible. I would never recommend someone not to take them as malaria can be fatal. But these drugs can be very dangerous too and people don't read the small print so just be informed of the risks with taking and not taking and balance that with the prevalence of malaria in the destination. Someone will come on and say that Malarone is safe but expensive but that is simply wrong. It just has less incidences of psychosis than larium.

Droflove · 31/07/2014 20:06

Ps. The reason I said all that us that I will avoid all anti - malarials for my family unless in a very remote high incidence place due to personal experience. I would not want my 1.5 yr old near those drugs if I could avoid it. So if you don't really need them for Morocco (and all the people I know who have gone to Morocco never needed them) steer clear.

superchick · 31/07/2014 20:16

Your DS is being a baby. Vaccinations and tablets will not spoil his holiday. However I don't think they're really necessary in Morocco.

scaevola · 31/07/2014 20:18

NHS says no malaria prophylaxis is required for Morrocco

I'd see if a Hep A jab can be booked in time. If it can, make an appointment for him. It'll set your mind at risk for both this trip, and any future ones to places where food hygiene is variable and the disease widespread.

Branleuse · 31/07/2014 20:18

he'll be fine

scaevola · 31/07/2014 20:19

Typhoid is the other jab the NHS says is usually recommended. Perhaps you could book him for both?

TheAwfulDaughter · 31/07/2014 20:22

This reply has been deleted

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specialsubject · 31/07/2014 20:31

as noted, malaria protection isn't a vaccine and isn't needed for morocco.

not having the recommended jabs can cause problems with travel insurance claims.

most of the needed jabs are part of the standard childhood set. Only hep a is extra.

both your son and his father are childishly ignorant. Your son IS a child. What is his dad's excuse?

ShyGirl1001 · 31/07/2014 20:35

YANBU, but doubt you can force him to get it sorted!