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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make DS1 do his ironing?

51 replies

Frontier · 27/07/2014 18:48

He's 13yo and we have fallen out because when looking for something to wear he rifles through his draw, pulls out the t-shirt he wants and leaves the rest in a worse state than before they were ironed.

I've told him I'm not ironing them anymore - thing is he'll happily wear them in whatever state he's left them in, or completely un-ironed. So, me not ironing them is not the same thing as making him iron them himself. WWYD?

OP posts:
Iownathreeinchferrari · 27/07/2014 18:49

What house jobs does he do normally?

Iownathreeinchferrari · 27/07/2014 18:49

13 is the perfect age to start ironing

cardibach · 27/07/2014 18:58

I don't iron. Seriously, I don't - well perhaps one item every six months or so... Let your DS manage. Things dried then immediately folded don't need any extra assistance. If he wants them flatter, he could do it himself but I'd discourage everyone from ironing. It uses time and energy for no useful purpose!

Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 18:59

He actually does quite a bit - doesn't have many regular chores as such but knows better than to refuse if I ask him to hoover, clean the bathroom, cut the grass, empty the dishwasher, bring the washing in, take the bins out etc. Last week, his bedroom was cleaned top to bottom including washing all woodwork and windows.

He can iron - He's in cadets and does his uniform twice a week. The impasse we have reached is that he's happy to wear his civvies un-ironed. I'd prefer that they were ironed.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 27/07/2014 19:00

Cardi he's scrunching things up - that's what the OP means - My dd2 does this as well - drives me mad - yanbu

Hakluyt · 27/07/2014 19:01

He can iron them himself. Or you can iron them- but never re iron. If he doesn't mind wearing them un ironed, why should you?

My ds learned to iron at Scouts, by the way, when he was 12. Fantastic organization!

Mrsjayy · 27/07/2014 19:05

Scrunching drives me nuts mine iron their own stuff have done for years let him sort himself out

whatnoblackshoes · 27/07/2014 19:11

My 16 year old DS is ironing as I speak after a lesson from DH earlier. Wish we'd started at 13!

londonrach · 27/07/2014 19:11

I wish my mum taught me. Please be a good mum and teach your son...

mrscog · 27/07/2014 19:15

Ironed t shirts are completely unnecessary for a 13yo. Life is short and precious. Stop wasting both your lives on something so trivial and pointless! Not a bad idea to teach him what to do for smart stuff though where some ironing might be necessary in adulthood.

Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 19:15

Yes, yes I know 13 is perfectly old enough to iron. He can iron very well. I am not going to iron his things anymore.

My dilemma is whether I put my foot down and make him iron everything or let him wear them un-ironed (which will reflect on me Blush )

And, I don't care what the non-ironers think it does make a difference, you have never seen anyone who looks well turned out and subsequently learned they don't iron! It maybe old fashioned but these things do matter, the old first impressions thing. Appearance shouldn't matter but we know that in RL it does.

OP posts:
isthisanacidtest · 27/07/2014 19:25

Why does it reflect on you and not his dad if he's unironed?

I can't stand this guilt that gets lumped on women if their kids aren't perfectly turned out.

DD does her own ironing and has done since she went to secondary school.

EmptyNestAgain · 27/07/2014 19:30

If I saw a 13 yr old in an unironed t shirt, I'd assume he couldn't be bothered and his DM was a sensible woman teaching him how RL works!

Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 19:31

LOl isthis, because that's not the world we live in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 19:32

There we are, Empty knows it's down to mum Wink

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/07/2014 19:34

How are you going to manage to make him iron, if you can't manage to make him stop scrunching his clothes up?

TBH I'd just leave him to it.

ashtrayheart · 27/07/2014 19:34

No one can tell my clothes aren't ironed, I promise I am not creased Wink not surprised he isn't bothered.

isthisanacidtest · 27/07/2014 19:35

Frontier - I disagree. I would not believe at 13 it was anything to do with his mum. I doubt I'd notice and if I did I'd shrug and be a bit meh he's crumpled. I certainly wouldn't be blaming his mum and thinking that lazy mare couldn't be arsed to iron her poor wee boy's top. I'd likely think she ironed it and he left it on the floor!

1950 called. They want their iron back Wink

Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 19:35

Worra, I can easily make him do as he's told. I can't stop him being careless.

OP posts:
Icimoi · 27/07/2014 19:38

You have to be mad to iron T shirts. Within 2 minutes of putting them on, there is no way anyone could tell whether they've been ironed or not.

cardibach · 27/07/2014 19:40

Actually, I have had neutral parties comment on how well turned out I am to others. You can't tell I'm not ironed. How would you know whether your random well turned out person had ironed or not? Do you go round asking?

isthisanacidtest · 27/07/2014 19:41

What are you going to do? Inspect him before he leaves the house and if he's not ironed enough, refuse to allow him to leave until he irons his top?

QuipFree · 27/07/2014 19:42

Compromise on what needs ironing and what can be left (school shirts ironed, casual t-shirts unironed). And if he's going out somewhere nice with you, he puts on ironed clothes. No looking rumpled at your side - he's lowering your tone. :)

isthisanacidtest · 27/07/2014 19:43

I'd like to know how you make a teen do as they are told.

I think I could learn something.

Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 19:45

No, obviously ultimately he will leave the house as he sees fit but having him do that is not the same as failing to teach him that there are standards. Do your Dc not polish their school shoes? Or wash their hair/get it cut. Maybe they don't and that's down to them but surely it's down to us as parents to teach them that these things "should" be done so that they do at least know that when they eventually grow up.

Maybe I set too much store by what MNetters tell me but every thread about what makes someone appear stylish/wellturned out etc concludes that good ironing is a common feature.

OP posts: