Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make DS1 do his ironing?

51 replies

Frontier · 27/07/2014 18:48

He's 13yo and we have fallen out because when looking for something to wear he rifles through his draw, pulls out the t-shirt he wants and leaves the rest in a worse state than before they were ironed.

I've told him I'm not ironing them anymore - thing is he'll happily wear them in whatever state he's left them in, or completely un-ironed. So, me not ironing them is not the same thing as making him iron them himself. WWYD?

OP posts:
EmptyNestAgain · 27/07/2014 19:46

Quip has it exactly right.
He sounds like a great kid, btw

isthisanacidtest · 27/07/2014 19:48

Ironing is not the same as washing hair/getting it cut.

Polishing school shoes - nope happens on prize day and not much else.

Ironing = uniform for school, my work stuff and dresses/fancy clothes for special occasions only in this house.

kawliga · 27/07/2014 19:55

Also, if there's any mother out there who hasn't taught her son to iron, that's fine. He'll be ok. Either he'll learn how to do it (it's not difficult) or he won't. Either way nothing bad will happen.

Londonrach I'm sure your mother taught you many valuable things even though the ironing lessons got overlooked. Also, you learned how to iron by yourself so it all turned out ok in the end. I know how to iron but I honestly can't remember my mother ever 'teaching' me how to do it.

WorraLiberty · 27/07/2014 19:58

My Mum and Dad hardly ever ironed our clothes and to be honest, there were times when I was embarrassed at how creased they were.

When I was 12, I taught myself to iron and I've taught my kids to iron their own clothes too.

BackforGood · 27/07/2014 20:00

Why not get him a hanging rail and store the t-shirts that way?
I really cannot see the point in ironing T-shirts then folding them into a drawer which someone is going to have to look through to choose the one they want.

I mean, I can't see the point in ironing T-shirts, full stop, but, you've already said that it's important to you, so that would seem a far more sensible solution than making him resentful at having to re-iron T-shirts that, to his eyes are almost certainly fine anyway.

Hakluyt · 27/07/2014 20:02

"Also, if there's any mother out there who hasn't taught her son to iron, that's fine. He'll be ok. Either he'll learn how to do it (it's not difficult) or he won't. Either way nothing bad will happen.

Well,nothing bad will happen provided said mother never ever irons for him. Because if she does, he will grow up thinking that it is OK for him to expect women to be responsible for his personal care and appearance. Many, many men think this- it would be awful if our sons grew up thinking it too.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 27/07/2014 20:07

DM beat that attitude out of us before we were 8. Or at least before I was 8. Not sure about my brothers as I was away at school before the youngest turned 6. The next one down is pretty OCD though.

Hakluyt · 27/07/2014 20:13

I'm afraid my ds and his friends are rather scathing about the over-ironed. Particularly the over ironed jean. Just the right amount of rumple is required...........

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 27/07/2014 20:14

surely it's down to us as parents to teach them that these things "should" be done

Maybe it's just how you think things should be done.

I rarely iron. I can't remember the last time I polished a pair of shoes, I survive.

LongTimeLurking · 27/07/2014 20:19

I can't remember the last time I ironed anything. If it is line dried and folded quickly it just doesn't need it and even then only smart clothes for interviews/weddings/funerals really require it.

Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 20:20

Ok, all this drying and folding. Who does the folding and to what standard? Grin

OP posts:
isthisanacidtest · 27/07/2014 20:23

DD and I do it together. Sometimes she does it, sometimes I do it. Depends on who is doing what that week and how busy I am/she is.

She has to put away her on clothes. Or not. I generally pretend I live in a one bedroom house. It's better for my stress levels.

Pairing socks is her job though. Grin I hate that.

sashh · 27/07/2014 20:23

Either leave them unironed or instead of folding them into the drawer roll them so he can look through without disturbing them.

Curioushorse · 27/07/2014 20:25

My mum and my brother have been having this stand-off since he was about the same age. He's now in his 30's and because of his job makes regular tv appearances/ has his picture in a national newspaper.

He 'won' about 5 years ago when he made several consecutive appearances in a crumpled shirt. She now pays for somebody to do his ironing.....but she doesn't get him birthday presrnts.

Original poster
Frontier · 27/07/2014 20:29

I absolutely guarantee I won't be doing or paying for his ironing when he's 30 Grin I do think a scruffy 13yo reflects on me (a bit). A scruffy 30yo is entirely down to him.

Although I suppose if it solves the "what shall I get for his birthday?" issue forever, it's not a bad idea....Must be a pretty generous present from a mother to her adult son though.

OP posts:
WhereAreMyGlasses · 27/07/2014 20:39

I am a female and shock horror never learnt to iron and don't iron anything now (I would attempt it if I ever wore a shirt but I don't). I don't think I look crumpled and people have never mentioned it, I certainly know people that would.

In my parents house nothing gets ironed except my dad's shirts.

Agree with the drying well and then folding - it takes two seconds. I did it from when I was about 12 at home and would gladly do that than iron!

Bogeyface · 27/07/2014 21:03

he's happy to wear his civvies un-ironed.

So they dont get ironed.

I'd prefer that they were ironed.

So iron them yourself!

Look there is no standoff here, no big issue. You want them ironed so you iron them or accept that he isnt bothered and wont be doing it himself any time soon!

ilovepowerhoop · 27/07/2014 21:17

I only iron shirts and school stuff. Tops/t-shirts are hung on hangers in the wardrobe though so dont get crumpled like they would in a drawer. Life is too short to iron unnecessarily.

Lesnewth · 27/07/2014 21:36

I recently insisted DS iron his school shirts and he refused. He went out every morning looking like a bag of rags Hmm

I just closed my eyes and let him go...!

Hakluyt · 27/07/2014 23:19

"do think a scruffy 13yo reflects on me (a bit)."

To whom?

iolanthefairyqueen · 27/07/2014 23:49

I still ironed my son's clothes - he's 25 but today was the last time. He wears things once - including jeans and trousers - then drops him in laundry basket. Today I had 3 baskets of his -only his- ironing. I have just retired so he can do his own bloody ironing from now on

DocDaneeka · 27/07/2014 23:52

A scruffy 13 yo looks like a normal 13yo.

A 13yo in scrupulously ironed casements, if not on the way to cadets just looks like a mummy's boy.

DocDaneeka · 27/07/2014 23:52

Casements?

GARMENTS ffs.

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 27/07/2014 23:56

I used to iron all DS1's clothes... and then get cross when they were dumped on his 'floordrobe' (teen) so he said, quite reasonably I thought, 'don't iron then, I don't care and you're the one getting stressed!'

So I stopped...!

No one has noticed to be honest!

Sometimes I do a few of his in with the general pile as his brother shares them , but mostly... nope not worth the hassle! I will do shirts for nights out tho just because I can't bear him looking like he has slept in a bin Grin

GothMummy · 27/07/2014 23:57

He sounds like a nice lad, I would not harrass him over non essential ironing either, but then I dont care about ironing at all.

Agree with a previous poster, I would also love to know the way you get a teenager to do what you tell them!