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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider upgrading my engagement ring 8 years after getting married??

77 replies

PisforPeter · 11/07/2014 15:53

Has anybody else done this??
I was never too keen on my engagement ring, I didn't choose it & I thought it was on the smallish side.
Now we are better off hubby has offered to buy me a new one but I don't know what to do??
I would like to but is it a bit indulgent??

OP posts:

MuttonCadet · 11/07/2014 15:55

It's cheaper than getting divorced and remarried.

Slh122 · 11/07/2014 15:55

Up to you what you spend your money on. Personally I wouldn't but that's because there's a hundred things I can think of to spend a few grand on other than a ring.

Oleoleole · 11/07/2014 15:56

If it makes you happy and you can afford it, why not?

You have my permission

Original poster

PisforPeter · 11/07/2014 15:56

That's true, lol!!

OP posts:

MuttonCadet · 11/07/2014 15:56

Sorry that was a bit flippant, you can get a solitaire ring and put it on that finger, no need to call it an engagement ring. Then keep your engagement ring in your jewellery box.

Or have you thought about getting an eternity ring?

HenI5 · 11/07/2014 15:57

How about marking your 10th anniversary with a new ring? plenty of time to browse and try on and see what you'd really like.

Original poster

PisforPeter · 11/07/2014 15:58

I have an eternity ring and I really like it!

OP posts:

Bearbehind · 11/07/2014 16:01

Could you use the stones or the metal from the original ring and incorporate it in a new ring?

Solves the sentimental issue and gets you a bigger ring

dexter73 · 11/07/2014 16:02

I don't know about this. I don't have a problem with it being indulgent but the new ring won't be an engagement ring though as it isn't the ring your dh proposed to you with. I don't think I would do it but it's your call so why not!

dexter73 · 11/07/2014 16:02

Blimey my post is rather garbled but I hope you get the drift!

fishchipsandmayonnaise · 11/07/2014 16:03

I fully intend on doing this, if and when DH and I have more money! Quite a few of my parents friends have done this, so I think it's okay.

Original poster

PisforPeter · 11/07/2014 16:03

We looked into that [bearbehind] but getting a bespoke ring made is v expensive.
I might get my old diamond set into a necklace for DD when she is older??

OP posts:

CoffeeTea103 · 11/07/2014 16:06

Yes good idea, set it into something for your dd, and get a new one

Bearbehind · 11/07/2014 16:07

It is worth looking around for bespoke jewellers, the obvious places like Hatton Garden and the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham can be expensive but I had both my wedding and engagement ring made and they were no more expensive than off the peg really.

RocknRollNerd · 11/07/2014 16:08

If you and DH are both happy then do it! Me and DH are both on our second wedding rings - it's not so surprising that tastes change over time, we're both very pleased with the 'new' rings and it hasn't changed how we feel about each other at all. Be prepared for some comments though from people who can't get past the sentimental value side of things - it didn't bother us in the slightest though, the memories of the wedding, proposal etc are all still the same and neither of us now is wearing jewellery every day that we don't really like that much.

kslatts · 11/07/2014 16:10

I don't think I would do this, my engagement ring wasn't expensive and we could now afford to upgrade it, however it represents our engagement and at the time was what we could afford, don't think its something that can really be replaced years later.

GretchenWiener · 11/07/2014 16:10

god yes, good to update. Lots of my colleagues have those horrible HUGE ones people had in the 70s. Vile IN ten years time the platinum ones people have now will look old hat - plus ca change

Mind you i am not a fan of them on men, full stop.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 11/07/2014 16:10

I don't know, I think it's quite nice to look at your ring and remember that times were harder but you stuck together.

I'd go for a blingy eternity ring instead.

SarcyMare · 11/07/2014 16:10

when we went on holiday to sri-lanka we bought a lovely saphire and had this set into a new engagement ring, same style but with stones you can see with the naked eye.

pommedeterre · 11/07/2014 16:10

My parents did this, my mum had really crap rings as they had no money. By their 25th anniversary they were well off so my dad took my mum to a posh jewellers when they were on holiday and she got new engagement an wedding rings. I think it seemed a really lovely thing to mark how far they'd come as a team together.

The old ones really were bad - not sure she even bothered to keep them!

BolshierAyraStark · 11/07/2014 16:14

DH 'bought' my 1st engagement ring in exchange for a pint (very young & very skint) He bought me a replacement 9 years later just before we got married.

If you don't like the one you have & can afford a new one then go for it.

ShakeYourTailFeathers · 11/07/2014 16:14

We sort of did this - I saw a lovely big ring on holiday about 6 yrs after we got married and DH offered to buy it for me.

So now I have 2 to choose from I'm not sure i'd want to sell the old one for sentimental reasons, and I still love it.

my DM traded her 60s ring in for a nice new ring about 25 yrs after they got married too.

LegoClone · 11/07/2014 16:14

We replaced my white gold engagement ring for a platinum one for our 2nd wedding anniversary. No one would know though as it looks identical! I spotted it when taking in the original ring for replating with rhodium and persuaded DH it would save us money in the long run.

PeppermintInfusion · 11/07/2014 16:16

Lots of people my parents' age (60s) have done this. Either they were poor when they got married (in most cases at a younger age), their ring is dated in style or it no longer fits.
My mum's original is so small doesn't even fit on her little finger anymore, so she replaced as it would be expensive to expand it.

If it's something you want to do, do it.

Nomama · 11/07/2014 16:16

VU.

My engagement ring is also crap, as we too had no money. My wedding ring only cost £30. They represent who we were when we got engaged/married. I wouldn't change them just because I now find them a bit sad.

I also have an eternity ring. It was supposed to be a money no object purchase. But the ring I loved only cost £200.

Stick with it. It's my 25th this year and I look on them quite fondly. I couldn't part with them.

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