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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider upgrading my engagement ring 8 years after getting married??

77 replies

PisforPeter · 11/07/2014 15:53

Has anybody else done this??
I was never too keen on my engagement ring, I didn't choose it & I thought it was on the smallish side.
Now we are better off hubby has offered to buy me a new one but I don't know what to do??
I would like to but is it a bit indulgent??

OP posts:

rubyflipper · 11/07/2014 19:01

I wouldn't want to upgrade my engagement ring. It is a simple ring but it was what we could afford at the time; and to me it's a sign of how far we have come.

Only1scoop · 11/07/2014 19:02

Yanbu....

Find one you love.

ApocalypseThen · 11/07/2014 19:24

I've done it. It's really only am engagement ring till you get married, after that it's a piece of jewellery. I wasn't crazy about my original ring anyway. New one rocks. I love wearing it.

TalcumPowder · 11/07/2014 19:29

Crass. As is the term 'upgrade', as if it involves a mobile phone. Yet another money-making pseudo-tradition brought to you by the jewellery industry, like spending a month's salary in an engagement ring, the eternity ring, the 'push present' ring/pendant.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 11/07/2014 19:32

Very expensive for bespoke? What budget? Try Hatton garden. You would be surprised.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 11/07/2014 19:39

My solitaire ring was only a cheapy and after a few years the tiny sliver of diamond fell out and was lost. Dh offered to replace it so we went back to our jewellers and I picked out a gorgeous antique diamond ring. It's lovely.

It was never really a proper proposal anyway. I told dh that unless he did it properly I'd say no. So I pretty much had to organise it anyway. Last of the romantics.

My wedding ring is only a cheap simple band of gold but it doesn't have to look bling so I'm not bothered. I don't think if ever replace it though, I think it holds more sentimental value than the engagement ring.

PosingInManilla · 11/07/2014 19:49

kslatts
I don't think I would do this, my engagement ring wasn't expensive and we could now afford to upgrade it, however it represents our engagement and at the time was what we could afford, don't think its something that can really be replaced years later.

Completely agree. My engagement ring had a teeny millionth of a carat diamond and was dirt cheap but DH was earning peanuts at the time and I was so touched at hard he must have saved. I could never replace it with something "better". We've just had a special anniversary though and he bought me an eternity ring which I wear as well - could you do that? I just think calling it an engagement ring when it's actually a many-years-later-and-bigger-and-better ring is a bit odd.

Although I'm obviously in the minority

1944girl · 11/07/2014 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

settingsitting · 11/07/2014 19:57

Ha ha . You again.
Thought you were a man on the other thread. Off for a reread.

gamescompendium · 11/07/2014 20:25

If you want to and can afford to why not? I still love my ring but at 29 with good jobs DH and I had more disposable income than we do now with 3 small children so I got a nice classic design that won't really date (it's very similar to my grandmother's actually). If I didn't like my ring I think I'd be tempted to replace it, or at least get a nice eternity ring to wear instead!

ColdCottage · 11/07/2014 20:28

Only read OP but have you thought of using the original stone as a side stone and buying a matching new side stone and a big centre stone. Then reusing the metal from the band to reset stones in a new ring?

VioletHare · 11/07/2014 20:35

Obviously it's your money and you can do what you like...but I think YABU.

Your engagement ring is your engagement ring. It will ALWAYS be your engagement ring, no matter if it cost £1 or £10k.

Buying a 'new' ring will be just that - a new ring. Nothing wrong with that. It will not be an 'engagement' ring though and to try and call it that I a bit strange.

I could win the lottery tomorrow and I would never replace my engagement ring. It's worth so much more to me than the monetary value.

Doilooklikeatourist · 11/07/2014 20:37

I had an engagement ring upgrade for my 50th birthday
When we git engaged we were skint and I had a lovely ring ,3 very pretty small diamonds in a twist
Tesco were doing the 4 x clubcard points at Godsmiths the jewellery shop , so we exchanged £250 of points and I had a lovely sparkly £1000 solitaire
Which I know is peanuts worth to some , but I love it

andsmile · 11/07/2014 20:42

You mean you want an enternity ring

whatever5 · 11/07/2014 20:48

It seems a bit odd to upgrade an engagement ring as you are not engaged anymore so it would just be a new ring with no significant meaning. There's nothing wrong with a new ring though if that's what you want.

Blueuggboots · 11/07/2014 20:56

I would HIGHLY recommend quality diamonds whistle based in Hatton Garden and have a office in Milton Keynes. They are currently making my bespoke engagement ring and couldn't have been more helpful.
I know for a fact that my ring will be worth at least 30-40% more than we're paying for it.
They sell loose diamonds and you can compare them online before you go and look at them in the flesh.

Blueuggboots · 11/07/2014 20:56

Who are based.....not whistle!!!

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 11/07/2014 21:32

I'm thinking of getting a fake bit of bling as mine is so small. We're still just as skint as we were 5 years ago.

Strokethefurrywall · 11/07/2014 21:38

Lots of people do that here, DH asked if I wanted to do it this next year (5 years married) but I'm not keen but only because I'm a sentimental mare and it's not really a small diamond in the first place.

I was after a different setting for it (have the Lucida setting currently which I love but was after a cushion halo setting) but decided against it so DH bought me a gorgeous eternity band after I had DS2 a few months ago which matches perfectly.

What treats in life aren't indulgent? A holiday in the Maldives is indulgent, so is a new car and yet people don't judge others on those. There is a lot of snobbery around this type of thing, along with "push presents" (ridiculous term) but you have the money so you go ahead and indulge - life is too short!

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 11/07/2014 21:46

What's a push present?

dexter73 · 11/07/2014 21:48

It's a present for giving birth.

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 11/07/2014 21:55

Hmmmm. Quite like the idea of that. But as I mentioned, we're skint. Any spare money goes on the little thing I pushed out!

mr405 · 12/07/2014 14:40

My Mum got a new engagement ring about 20 years after my parents married as her original ring rubbed against her wedding band and as a result was worn down and fragile.

Well she got two- saw one in a jewellery shop in Spain which she loved so my Dad bought it as a replacement, only to then see one in Wales which she loved JUST as much To be fair neither were that expensive- combined about half the price my cousin spent on her engagement ring!

Anyway, I don't think it detracts from the marriage or meaning or whatever. If you are both happy together then that's the important thing!

UptheChimney · 12/07/2014 15:31

YABU. You sound really grabby, vulgar & materialistic.

Strokethefurrywall · 12/07/2014 15:45

Oh pull your judgy pants out of your arse Up

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