upset at dh comment about my vajayjay

[mrsdicko90]

I shaved my vajayjay earlier. Me and dh was just messing around on the bed and I asked "how does it look?"

He said jokingly "looks like Michael Myers has hacked at it"

Bit of back ground, I had an episotomoy with Dd. Stitches came undone and I never healed. With ds I had a third degree rip. Never healed again. Ended up having correction surgery few years ago to cut away scar tissue, ended up with a few stitches coming undone.

I am so paranoid about how it looks down there. Aibu to be hurt about his jokey comment?

No. He could stand to be a bit more sensitive and thoughtful.

Calling it a vagjayrayray or whatever though...

Your what?

YABU for being a grown woman and calling it your "vajayjay"

Vajayjay?

Everybody knows it's called a Fanjolina Jolly

It was unkind and insensitive for him to have said that, and it makes no difference that it was said "jokingly". How would he like it if you said something unflattering about his genitals! I have a philosophy; never say anything about someone's appearance unless it's so obviously only going to be taken as a compliment. Otherwise keep your gob shut.

Or "Flappydolally"

Does it REALLY matter what she's called it? It hardly relates to the content of the thread. It's not like it makes it incomprehensible.

Op you are not being unreasonable. He should have showed some sensitivity and simply said it looked lovely.

Is it just me? I think that's a shitty thing to say. Making fun of the scars you sustained giving birth to your fucking children. What the hell kind of joke is that?

did you cut yourself shaving? if so the 'hacked' comment could be referring to that.

either way he was being insensitive.

Could he not be referring to the shaving handiwork?

It sounds like he was talking less about scarring and more about your shaving? As in hacking away at the hair?

Could he have overestimated your level of genital confidence? I'm assuming he did mean it in a shared-joke sort of way, rather than an insult followed by the old 'no sense of humour' bollocks.

Anyway, just tell him you're a bit sensitive about looking like you've given birth :) Here's hoping he rewards your - er, vulva - with some extra special strokes!

To be honest my vulva looks like that when its shaved anyway and ive had no surgery! I only shave at the business end aasi only do it because dp doesn't like pubic hair in his mouth :) its not an aesthetic thing!! Chicken breast anyone?

Omg if he meant to reference the scarring then he is deeply unpleasant. Only you can say whether or not he is the sort of person who would say
Something so horrible to someone he's supposed to love and cherish.

I hope (and it's a possibility I guess because I have once in a while said something as a joke and only afterwards realised with horror that it could have been completely misunderstood as something utterly terrible and insensitive) that he made the mistake of referencing a bit of less-than-perfect shaving and wasn't referring to anything else. And I hope that he immediately realised how it might have been taken and apologised, and meant it.

Otherwise, I think it's pretty much unforgivable.

I don't think I'd have asked him what he thought. What did you want him to say?

I'd presume that he was talking about the hair and not the scars anyway, but as you're already (understandably) sensitive, I'd avoid asking him things like that.

And YNBU to feel hurt. But if he was just kidding around about the shaving handiwork then it's not as bad.

I'm sorry he hurt your feelings.

This is so the kind of thing my DP would say accidentally without thinking then be shocked I was offending

When we had been together a few months I had put a bit of weight on and was stood in the bedroom in my underwear getting dressed and he said (uninvitedly) 'you're so lucky you you can get away with putting weight on as you have a really pretty face'

He didn't get that I didn't view that as a compliment!

I cared for an old lady who used to call it fangelina cilla

She also once asked me to get her some cocaine when I asked if there was anything else I could do for her

Hilarious

Tell him his genitals look like Kentucky Fried Chicken, see how he likes it.

I dunno... What did you want him to say? I'd assume a level of self genital confidence to show and ask for comments?

If you're paranoid about how you look down there already, why on earth would you shave all the hair off? Even perfectly in tact 'vajayjays' aren't particularly pretty, in my mind, hair is there for a reason.

Am I reading this right in that you shaved off everything?

I think if you don't want to hear anything other than a compliment, you shouldn't ask the question, especially when you know you won't like the truth so you are expecting your DP to come up with fake compliments.

Yeah, actually YABU. He was obviously referring to the shave job. If anyone is particular about their partner having pretty genitals (is there any such thing?) they would be gone long before the SECOND baby came around.