Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have allowed next doors cat to move himself in?

31 replies

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 11/05/2014 23:37

I have two cats and the NDN has two cats. One of them started popping in most days. We have a cat flap which is open all the time, our two come and go and have done for six years. NDNs cat was a kitten when it first started popping in, and we would shoo him away, send him back over to NDNs etc.

Over time, he started to come more and more, curls up with our two cats, eats from their bowls and sleeps in their baskets.

Up until about a week ago he was at least going home at night.

Now, he is here all the time. I dont mind, and mever have, but wonder if IABU by welcoming him. We have a good relationship with NDNs and have all always said "cats are welcome to come and go any time" etc and she has said mine pop into hers every now and then.

But her cat has essentially moved himself in. WDID?!?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 11/05/2014 23:39

Speaking as someone who has lost their cat to someone letting him in and feeding him, I suggest you stop doing it.

There is nothing I can do to entice him back full time, I've tried. I miss him and am paying his insurance whilst someone else gets all the benefit.

It gets on my tits on many levels.

Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 11/05/2014 23:45

Sad Ali

Im not sure how to stop it to be honest. Our cats have had six years of coming and going when they want and dry food out all day that id have to change everything for them too. Ive never had another random cat in before to have to deal with it.

We tried for.months popping him back out the cat flap whenever we saw him in the house, but he would be back in by morning. Even now, I get in from work at 11.30 and dh and dd are in bed and have been for hours so even if they kicked him out no doubt he would return.

I wish I could go back in time and be stricter from the start.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 11/05/2014 23:46

apparently i've been told the little swines choose their owners sometimes.

I'm being HAUNTED by this cat.. I don't have cats nor do I like them.. i've chucked water over it.. chased it and still the little bugger runs in the house at the first opportunity.. it climbs through the downstairs windows.. every time I open the back door hes there wanting petted. It isn't a stray, I know where it lives but it's determined it's going to get in my house when ever it feels like. It seems to like me very much Hmm i've lost count it's taken me by surprise and nearly tripped me up by appearing at my feet.

However that's a totally different situation... you've cleared it with your neighbours.. you obviously don't mind but maybe another chat might be in order about it just to check.

Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 11/05/2014 23:48

Yes, I will talk to her when I next see her. I like her cat, but we dont fawn over him or lavish him with strokes etc. Our own are old enough now that they come to us if they want a little pet, and have grown out of the playful stage so even though we have a 2yo the cats have a very peaceful, lazy existance.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 11/05/2014 23:49

Though I did wake from a nap once to find him on the bed curled up behind my knees.

OP posts:
ApoqA · 11/05/2014 23:57

I think you should either speak to your nieghbours or, at least, do your very best not to let the cat in. You could also use an electronic cat flap so that only your cats can get in. If you can afford it it would be a very simple solution.

Also, the cat would learn very quickly if you shooed it out the house every time you saw it.

My MIL did this with a nieghbours cat - the cat was really fat presumably because it was being fed in two household.

I think its unfair on the cats owners to let him come in.

Lemongrab · 12/05/2014 00:11

Some people near us are doing this with our cat. We noticed he was getting fat so put a collar on him with a disc that said 'please do not feed me'.
He came home the next day with a hand written note sellotaped to his collar. It said that they don't feed him. Apparently, he lets himself in and helps himself to their cat's food and sleeps on their bed at night.
Really? Just, really?
What they bloody need to do is NOT let him stay and make himself at home, eat their cat's food and sleep on their bloody bed Angry
Please don't encourage the cat, throw water on him and shoo him out. Every time you catch him in your house.
He's someone else's pet Sad

Original poster
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 12/05/2014 00:14

Ok. My cats have been through numerous collars and they dont keep them on, so I am not swapping to an electonic cat flap.

What I will do is start putting him out. Every time he is here.

We are all out most of the day and obviously sleeping at night so there will be times when he will let himself in but we will put him out every time we find him.

OP posts:
cutefluffybunnes · 12/05/2014 00:21

Get a little water spray bottle and spritz him whenever you see him enter. Not enough to make him wet and cold, just enough to deter him. Cats don't make great pets, sometimes. A dog would never do this! :)

Plateofcrumbs · 12/05/2014 07:28

If you have a good relationship with your NDN just be upfront and say you've noticed the cat is increasingly spending time in your house and ask how would they like you to handle it.

We 'stole' a neighbour's cat - over a period of time she moved in 100% with us and abandoned her original home. She was the kind of cat who hated other cats, other people, noise and children - she was extremely friendly when it was just us but would hide under the bed at the first sign of visitors. The original owners had other cats, and a busy household with two young children. So I did feel guilty about stealing the cat, but there's no doubt she had a much happier life with us.

Sparklingbrook · 12/05/2014 07:32

There are cat flaps that work on your cat's microchip and they don't have to wear a collar. might be worth checking those out.

wannaBe · 12/05/2014 07:35

People don't own cats, cats own people. If a cat doesn't want to live somewhere it won't.

Sparklingbrook · 12/05/2014 07:37

I think in this instance said cat thinks next door is just an extension of it's own house and is quite happily living in both.

Writerwannabe83 · 12/05/2014 07:39

I had a cat move in with me. I originally thought he was a stray but it turned out he lived 20 doors down. To cut a very, very long story short, the cat now lives with us as his real owners clearly didn't give a crap about him.

He's a gorgeous cat and I'm so happy he moved in. He first visited us over a year ago and has been permanent now for about 7 months Smile

NearTheWindymill · 12/05/2014 07:40

The new generation cat flaps are microchip sensitive and you don't need a collar. You swipe your cat under as you set it and the top of the flap recognises their microchip.

Our third cat moved in just like yours OP. But we told the neighbours he was coming in from the start and we didn't encourage it from the start either. The neighbours had two cats and three under fives and openly admitted that the one who wanted to live with us got stressed at the noise and chaos in their house. We were fond of both neighbours and their cat and when they moved away we agreed mutually that we would take over the cat. They paid the insurance up for two years and I pay it now.

Atbeckandcall · 12/05/2014 08:19

Microchip cat flaps were made for this very reason.

They cost around £80 (I know it sounds a lot but think of the food costs you'll be saving with NDN's cat not eating there Wink).

I always worry about odd things, what if their cat acquired an injury in your home etc? Sometimes at work this situation happens and it can really messy.

Plateofcrumbs · 12/05/2014 08:28

I definitely don't think spraying the cat with water etc is a solution - the NDNs might (reasonably) be more put out by this than the fact the cat is spending time at your house. Plus you don't want to be spending half your life chasing after this cat.

If you do need a true solution a microchip cat flap does sound the best bet, but speak to your NDNs first, they could be quite relaxed about the situation.

OTheHugeManatee · 12/05/2014 08:49

Talk to the neighbours, see how they feel about it. I think if you're not encouraging the cat though it might be fair to ask them if they want to split the cost of a microchip cat flap with you as they are pricey and IMO it's not really fair for you to be picking up the whole cost of stopping their cat being a cheeky whatsit.

OTheHugeManatee · 12/05/2014 08:52

(We had to install a microchip one btw, as our small nervous rescue cats were being thoroughly menaced by the local bruiser coming in through the catflap. Spraying water at him made bugger all difference as he'd just flee if he heard us coming, then sneak back in.)

mrsbucketxx · 12/05/2014 08:55

I woukd talk to your neighbours, they may be fine with this cats choose their owners not the other way round.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 12/05/2014 09:02

Talk to them, they might be fine about it or they might be heartbroken. I'd be in the heartbroken category. We've got a microchip catflap and it works brilliantly.

Littleen · 12/05/2014 09:04

yes, talk to the neighbours :) otherwise kick him/her out, they might miss him!

Needadvice5 · 12/05/2014 09:09

I do feel for you! We're in a similar situation, not sure what to do either.

It's easier said than done about "don't let them in"
I have my back door open constantly when we're at home so the little bleeder just wanders in, eats my cat's food and snuggles up on dd's bed.....

It's riddled with fleas so I found myself buying treatment last week as there's no point treating my two cats when this one is crawling!

Rissolesfortea · 12/05/2014 09:20

I also have been adopted by a neighbours cat. We keep our back door open when the weather is nice and him and his brother started coming in and stealing our cats food. After extensive inquiries I found out who they belonged to and informed them of their cats theiving, neighbour wasn't bothered.

This cat then had an injury and was limping badly, again I informed neighbour, still wasn't bothered so I asked him to ring the vets and give permission for us to get him treated which he did. He has now moved in completely (cat not neighbour) and he is our cat.

The other brother sits outside crying to come in but he attacks my cats so I have tried everything to deter him to no avail.

The saying that cats choose their owners is very true.

mrsbucketxx · 12/05/2014 09:22

Id love a cat to choose me, dh is really against having a cat but id love one,

Swipe left for the next trending thread