To refuse to waltz with dp on our wedding day?

[ikeaismylocal]

We are getting married this summer, I will be 7 months pregnant and likely very huge.

In dp's culture tradition states that the bride and groom should do a waltz as their first dance.

I am dyslexic and have very bad co-ordination at the best of times never mind when I have a huge bump. I have never waltzed, infact I have never danced apart from the occasional drunken attempt.

AIBU to say that I am not doing a bloody waltz, at a push I am willing to do a half hearted slow dance with dp.

My dad's a dance teacher and does private lessons for first dance at weddings

It's doable, even at 7 months!

I think you're entirely reasonable not to want to waltz - I guess tradition also dictates the bride's a virgin
What does your DP think about a slow dance instead?

how important is it to your husband to be? I would take lessons or at least do a "half hearted slow dance" as you put it to make him happy. surely the day is about compromise. if its not important to you both do what you want.

oh and congratulations on wedding and newborn

It depends really - if you've made all wedding decisions together then fair enough come up with a compromise together

If you've chosen everything else and this one thing is important to him then you should try

Oh go for it!

You might enjoy it!

Dp has his heart set on a waltz. He has danced as a hobby so he can waltz well and everyone waltzs at weddings so all his family can waltz.

He just informed me that we would start off waltzing and then everyone joins in and we all swap partners so I'd have to dance with his dad and the best man, he'd dance with my mum and bridesmaids (non of whome can waltz) I could possibly just about get my head around an undignified waddle around the dance floor with my dp but I will end up standing on his dad's toes or falling over ontop of the best man

Depends on the extent to which you have already had to compromise for him. But no, if you really don't want to do it and it is important to you then sit him down and explain how it would make you feel. And see if you can together as a team come up with a plan. Because you are a team, right ?

Have private lessons together, it will be a lovely thing to do together. Warn your family - it will be a lovely memory for you all to have all learning how to dance for this one occasion!

Have Dance lessons. We had some before our wedding. If I can do it you can

It sounds like it is important to him so can't you get a few lessons? Of all the dances to attempt when 7 mos pg, the waltz is probably the most achievable... And once you do the swapping bit, no-one will be focusing on you, it will all just be every man for themselves.

Are you normally a confident, joky person? You could appear with a set of L plates, make a joke of it sort of thing?

If it's that important a family thing then I think you should

Waltzing is about the easiest dance at its most basic. Why don't you ask your husband to waltz with you int the safety of your home and decide if you'd be happy to do it after you gave it a go.

I'm the most unco-ordinated person ever, and I can do a basic waltz.

Fucking hell. No, don't do it.

Waltzing is easy and I'm the least coordinated and the worst dancer in any room.

Why not agree to waltz with your new DH and then sit the rest out?

He loves you. His family love you. Your friends love you.

It's your wedding. What on Earth is there to worry about?

Just enjoy your special day.

Just do it! It'll be two minutes at most, and he'll be leading.

Dancing with him, I'd learn to do a dignified waltz. But being passed around, no. I don't do dancing where someone touches you with anyone but dh for a start.

So, I'd compromise, and say I'd dance with him and everyone else can waltz around you

Neither of us has had to compromise really, we are just getting married at the town hall, hiring an barn and having a big party with a buffet drinks and dancing in the evening.

No wedding cars, no posh clothes (I will be happy if i can find a dress that fits me!) it really won't be traditional to either of our cultures so I'm not really sure why the waltz is so important to him.

I'll ask him to try to teach me a little bit, when I was 7 months pregnant with ds i could only hug dp from the side my bump was so big!

Much as I hate the thought (we had no dancing at all at our wedding) I would probably make the effort if it was so important to everyone else. But only for a couple of minutes and then sit out.

You will be incredible. Enjoy. And get everyone to film it.

We watched our wedding video (old) from1988 with our now 4 teen/grown up children just last week. It's a wonderful memory. Enjoy yours.

Could you suggest you put your feet on top of his feet so he sort of walks you round the waltz?

When you say 'waltz' and 'culture' and 'all his family do it', are we talking slow waltz, or Viennese? (Just because all the Austrians I know can viennese waltz).

Slow waltz, I think you'll be fine, honest

Viennese... I wouldn't be so sure, there'll be (sorry for sounding rude), quite a bit of you to turn very very quickly!

You two doing it is one thing, presumably he can teach you. But what about your mum, bm etc? Hardly fair to expect them to pod out on dance lessons for a minute or two of dancing!

Could you compromise with you dancing with him if you can learn it ok, but not doing the whole dancing-gang-bang thing?