To refuse to waltz with dp on our wedding day?

[ikeaismylocal]

We are getting married this summer, I will be 7 months pregnant and likely very huge.

In dp's culture tradition states that the bride and groom should do a waltz as their first dance.

I am dyslexic and have very bad co-ordination at the best of times never mind when I have a huge bump. I have never waltzed, infact I have never danced apart from the occasional drunken attempt.

AIBU to say that I am not doing a bloody waltz, at a push I am willing to do a half hearted slow dance with dp.

If you are going to feel at all self conscious then ask people not to video you. We asked that people not use video at all at our wedding (was in the early days of digital so not everyone could anyway), I would not have been able to relax knowing it was being recorded.

He isn't austrian but I'm not sure what sort of waltz it is, I wasn't aware that there were different sorts!

I have been trying to elpfully select possible first dance songs that blend our cultures (Swedish and English) so far I have come up with the suggestion of Ace of base (Swedish artist) "all that she want is another baby" I suggested we could dance with ds and my big bump and it would be a very topical song. We both had a good giggle, I wonder if our guests would also think it was funny.

Its your wedding, ultimately. Have the kind of day you want.

But it's also the Groom's wedding. And this is important to him.

He's asked for one thing, one dance, a particular dance, he's probably always assumed he'd do a waltz with his wife at his wedding. This is his once chance to do it.

Have a lesson or two. It's 2 minutes that might be a little bit embarrassing to you, but will mean so much to him and his family.

No one will remember if you danced badly assuming you don't fall over but if it's his family tradition, they will remember you didn't dance.

^^ Exactly what Mary said.

You don't have to do it for longer than 30-50 seconds
I can guess which country is your fiancee from - most first dances are just like that . Bride and a groom dance together for a v.short time then they get to dance with other people - ask him to find you videos on youtube - plenty of examples there.

It could be worse:-

www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=youtube+dirty+dancing+wedding&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC8QtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZYhlm9GTAQ0&ei=7KVJU9DJLNLo7Ab73ICoCw&usg=AFQjCNEfRhIHivquVSOq3Jt675_Rlap0iQ&sig2=zQAb0wS_-dEYcJU9HtcS-A

However, if it is going to cast a shadow over your day with dreading it then I don't think you should.

Can you get him to teach you some now. If you can't do it at 3/4? Months then it really isn't going to work at 7 months pregnant.

The waltz is the traditional first dance in Germany, too - a lot of couples are doing those 'humorous' show-dancey things these days, my DH has two left feet and has never danced in his life. We just snuggled rhythmically on the dance floor to "Rainbow Connection" - it was more important that the song meant something to us, and my brother was singing it, we really didn't care about the right steps for the waltz!

Neither my dh nor I can dance, although we do sometimes when alone and being silly. But if he really wanted me to dance at our wedding, I would take some lessons. You say none of your family/friends can waltz either, so right there is a fun thing, you can all take a few classes together.

PS DH & I will have to take lessons before any of our kids get hitched, and trust me, we do not want to dance at all, but will do the first traditional mother- son- father daughter, in- laws all a whirl, then we will sit back down and breath a sigh of relief. It is that or look like a couple of weird and difficult persons to everyone else!

Basically, is much faster music and turns all the time. is much slower and doesn't turn so much.

Looking at the of the Crown Princess of Sweden (may as well go for the most traditional people I can find ) it is Viennese waltz music, but it doesn't look too scary.

I love the Ace of Base idea :)

But also, I'm sure you'll be fine with the waltz. It's the super easy version, your DP is good at it, and it's going to be quick; no problemos :) I've been to several European weddings with a waltz as the first dance and everyone was fine, even the most uncoordinated people!

Dang, my kids better not choose a waltz! My back and neck couldn't bend like that.

OP I found you an out! See here. www.babycenter.com/0_great-pregnancy-exercise-dancing_7821.bc
"Your center of gravity shifts as your belly gets bigger, so pay extra attention to your balance. Tracey Mallett, a certified personal trainer and fitness instructor in South Pasadena, California, suggests steering clear of hip-hop (the jerky movements aren't ideal), cheerleading, and ballroom dancing once the size of your belly makes dancing with a partner difficult. In general, says Mallett, "in any kind of dance you do, eliminate jumping, jerky movements, backbends, big hip movements, and lots of rotation."
These add unwanted stress on joints and ligaments and increase the risk for injury and falls.

I wouldn't do anything I didn't want to do.

Personally I would agree with your DH-to-be that you'll have some lessons (either proper lessons or him teaching you) but if it doesn't click then think again. I can't dance for toffee but a simple waltz is about as easy as it gets, and might even be less awkward than a shuffling generic 'slow dance'.

But it depends on you, him, the family - if you can all be quite relaxed / supportive about it that's one thing, but not if it's going to get a bit uptight.

I think it'd be utterly charming if done in a fun way with big smiles on your faces and laughing if it all goes a bit wrong.

In fact the worst wedding dance I ever saw was technically the best - bride and groom had been to lessons and had a whole routine, but it was so po-faced it was cringey.

I think in general people just want to see the happy couple looking happy rather than critique their dancing.

at a push you'll make a half hearted effort for him on your wedding day? Gosh, he's a lucky bloke.
Go and book a lesson together, the instructor will help you work something out so you can glide gently round the floor for a few bars of music and make your new husband happy.

Basic waltz- step back with left foot, step to the side with the right. Close left foot to right foot. Then step back on the right, to the side with the left and close right foot to left foot. Repeat. If you can walk down the street you can do a waltz.

I'd compromise and dance with him then go and pick out a woman from the crowd for him to start off the snowball waltz. Warn your side of the family that there will be a waltz.

I don't know my left and right

He can't be much of a (future) husband if he does not respect your wishes, regardless of his 'culture'.

If it's important to him, at least ask him to try to teach you, and throw yourself wholeheartedly into trying. Start immediately. He loves you, he already knows you are clumsy and won't laugh at your clumsiness or make you feel bad, and maybe you can find a way together to deal with your left/right issues (not my strong point either) eg a little squeeze on the arm on the side of the foot that's to go back. Stick a cushion up your jumper to mimic the size the bump will be. If after you have really really tried you are still finding it impossible or uncomfortable, he should have no problem agreeing to do something else. But to dismiss it out of hand without trying is unkind to him.

I am having bagpipes at my wedding. My fiance doesn't really like them, but in me they stirvery deep seated emotions and I could not imagine a wedding without them.However we have compromised thatt it will be a few short tunes during the drinks rather than part of the ceremony. You could compromise with 1 minute of waltz then segway into your Ace of Bass (genius) idea.

God no. No way I would have danced with dh on our wedding day. Everyone would have laughed.

We had Iggy Pop The Passenger and everyone got up