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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be getting irritated with a friend endlessly asking small favours?

44 replies

CruCru · 03/04/2014 19:41

I have a good friend who is a lot of fun BUT seems to need a small favour rather often. I am wondering whether I am being petty.

OP posts:
Rexandralpf · 03/04/2014 19:42

What favours? How close are you?

Back2Two · 03/04/2014 19:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

MammaTJ · 03/04/2014 20:02

Depends. Would she be willing to return favours if asked?

I borrowed £3 from a friend this morning as the obnoxious twat of a neighbour of mine driver wouldn't said he couldn't change my £10 note. I paid her back when we met on the return journey.

I have bought her a meal when she has been too skint to feed herself as well as her DC though. I may have ordered a huge thing for me and then made out I couldn't eat it all

Neighbours the nice ones often knock on my door and ask for small things, but I can do the same to them too.

Could you ask her, even if you have not had the need so far?

mummy1973 · 03/04/2014 21:02

Depends what your definition of friend is?

scarffiend · 03/04/2014 21:05

Either the favours are not very small, they are never repaid or she's not that good of a friend. Need background to understand a bit more.

Lilaclily · 03/04/2014 21:29

depends what favours obviously!

Lilaclily · 03/04/2014 21:30

either she's askign for a quick lift back from Cubs or she's askign for a full shop from M&S

op????

Original poster
CruCru · 03/04/2014 21:35

She has asked to borrow a place we go to at the weekends for the last week in August without mentioning that it's the bank holiday (we would be there usually so it would put us out).

We work in the same industry but different companies. She is senior to me and keeps asking me technical questions and getting irritable when I d

OP posts:
Original poster
CruCru · 03/04/2014 21:35

Don't know the answer (haven't done that role for a while and the regs have changed).

OP posts:
Original poster
CruCru · 03/04/2014 21:37

I am being petty - it just feels like every time I hear from her, she mentions something she'd like help with.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 03/04/2014 21:38

She wants to use your holiday home?

Lilaclily · 03/04/2014 21:40

oh you had a previous thread about the holiday home

Original poster
CruCru · 03/04/2014 21:41

Yeah, we are cool with our friends and family using it but it feels as though she is being quite pushy about it (and keeps wanting it when it is a bank holiday which is when we would use it).

OP posts:
gamerchick · 03/04/2014 21:44

I had a couple of friends who were constantly asking for favours.. it got to the point where they would pop up with a cheery HIYA and I would be sitting there wondering what they would ask for.

I ditched their arses and felt better for it.

Mrswellyboot · 03/04/2014 21:47

I would just tell her that you don't lend the lets on bank holidays

Everytime you help at work, stall it a little bit but obviously get your own work done first

Mrswellyboot · 03/04/2014 21:47

Keys

Polarn · 03/04/2014 21:49

I have a friend who always asks for favours. It fucks me off too as it's all the time. I avoid her now in the hope that she will be fully phased out eventually!

Viviennemary · 03/04/2014 21:53

I wouldn't call asking to use your holiday home a small favour. I think it's massively cheeky to ask to use someone's second home. If you are offered then great but it puts people in a difficult position when they don't want to.

LIDLrichard · 03/04/2014 21:55

What have you told her re: holiday home? No, I hope.

You don't sound petty, she sounds irritating.

missymayhemsmum · 03/04/2014 21:57

It's always great to be able to do a favour as you have 'one in the bank' iyswim but if it's not convenient/ puts you out/ you don't want to then say NO!

Original poster
CruCru · 03/04/2014 22:07

Well I said that we'd get back to her as we'll be using it in the summer but we're not sure whether we'll be there over the August bank holiday. I think what's irritated me is she said can she have it for the week from 23 August without acknowledging that this includes the bank holiday.

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 03/04/2014 22:16

I think I remember your other thread. Was your holiday home not very special to you and really more of a home from home, rather than somewhere you might 'let' or continually have others fill when it was empty? Also did she not borrow it before, then use all your personal stuff?

I think you should simply just tell her, "sorry, but I'd better say no, as I don't really know yet what our own plans are or those of our families, and I wouldn't want to let you down at the last moment".

Mimishimi · 03/04/2014 22:23

YANBU to be irritated but YABU to think that lending your holiday home on a bank holiday weekend is a small favour. It's really quite a large one. Even if they were just small favours, asked too often they all add up into a big one. Just say no if you don't want to.

Original poster
CruCru · 03/04/2014 22:24

I don't think I've put any other threads up about my holiday home. Might be wrong but I think that's someone else.

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 03/04/2014 22:35

Must have been someone else. Was the August bit that made me remember, sorry! The other poster, it was more of a home from home, near the beach I think, and her friend had already borrowed it once previously.

Similar thing, but not much good to you, because I can't remember what the outcome was! Grin

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