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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to provide you no context...

40 replies

Illysidiot · 25/03/2014 19:53

...but tell you that I've just been called a 'fat cunt' by my DP. He shouted it at me as he stormed off down the corridor.

Is it ever forgivable?

Not saying I plan to forgive, just want opinions. Feeling a bit, well, fat and shit.

OP posts:
Fathertedfan · 25/03/2014 19:56

Oh I wouldn't want to be called fat either!

blueballoon79 · 25/03/2014 19:56

My ex used to call me that exact name, that and fat slag.

Funnily enough when I got rid of him I lost all the weight I'd gained from comfort eating through the misery of his constant abuse.

There's no excuse for name calling whatsoever.

Hullygully · 25/03/2014 19:56

Are you fat?

Or a cunt?

Or both?

MojitoMadness · 25/03/2014 19:57

No it's not acceptable, pretty much ever. Unless you've just told him you've been shagging his dad (which I doubt).

Original poster
Illysidiot · 25/03/2014 19:58

I think I'm more offended about the fat bit.

I'm actually in shock.

I didn't retaliate.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 25/03/2014 19:59

What an utter charmer....

What caused that!

Original poster
Illysidiot · 25/03/2014 20:01

hully I am fat yeah. Not huge. Couple of stone to get rid of.

I certainly don't think in that instant I was being a cunt.

He went into an unplanned overdraft, didn't check his balance, now has a £170 charge to pay. He got into his overdraft by spending £70 buying video games. I saw his bank statement and said it is horribly unfair. We live together and are meant to share on food shops, bills etc and now we're fucking skint and will be yet again when he gets in to the green and pays that fee. And that makes me a cunt! and a fat one to boot.

Raging.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 25/03/2014 20:02

kill him

wanker

seriously, get rid.

get an adult.

Fairenuff · 25/03/2014 20:02

He is saying something, on purpose, to upset you. Why would he do that?

Only1scoop · 25/03/2014 20:03

Video games
Uggghhhh what a turn off.

He's in the red and paying losers amount of charges

And

That makes you a 'fat cunt'

Vile Confused

Pimpf · 25/03/2014 20:05

£70 on video games! How old is he?

FunkyBoldRibena · 25/03/2014 20:06

I'd perhaps make moves so that you aren't living together any more.

Original poster
Illysidiot · 25/03/2014 20:07

He's 24 but a massive man child clearly as not only is he vile to me but also has gone a WEEK not looking at his bank statements to discover this mess he's in.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 25/03/2014 20:07

Ok, he is obviously selfish and entitled. Why are you with someone who behaves like this?

HillyHolbrook · 25/03/2014 20:07

Even if it was your fault, I wouldn't tolerate such vile, disrespect from my DP, just as I wouldn't speak to him like that. Ever.

Now we have the context, YA deffo NBU.

Him being in debt because he's shitty with money doesn't make you a fat cunt, he's a cunt for having total disregard for you and the important things he could have been paying for.

Mouthfulofquiz · 25/03/2014 20:09

That's a really horrible thing to say, and I can honestly say that in the 12 years I've been with my DH, he has never name called, and to be honest, I would think he didn't like me very much if he called me that, or any name meant visciously, to hurt me.
Any particular reason why you would want to be in a relationship with someone like that? I'd be having second thoughts......

MyPrettyToes · 25/03/2014 20:10

Seriously no context required. I would never be friends let alone lovers with anyone who called me that.

Having read your latest post I will just say LTB. You are right to be raging. He has no respect for you, you are not a partner (at least he doesn't see it that way). You would be extremely foolish to make a life with this man child.

phantomnamechanger · 25/03/2014 20:11

why are you with him, such a charmer!
seriously, you do not have to be with someone who respects you so little and abuses YOU when HE is the greedy selfish prat at fault. He is not a real grown up if he cannot see that he should not be getting into financial mess over video games! I hope you are not planning on having kids with him because he won't change.

Original poster
Illysidiot · 25/03/2014 20:12

I know it's a toxic relationship. Finding it difficult to break free, but that's a story for another thread I suppose!

When he is not spewing nasty bile he can be a lovely person but I'm not willing to put up with such a spectrum anymore tbh. 'Fat cunt' does more damage than a nice comment does good.

Angry he still hasn't apologised. Arse.

OP posts:
MyPrettyToes · 25/03/2014 20:12

I agree with Mouthful, I have also been with DH a long time and he has never ever called me even the mildest sweary names.

He doesn't like you.

spongebob13 · 25/03/2014 20:12

it is a nasty thing to say. however what way did you speak to him? were you just as nasty?

Only1scoop · 25/03/2014 20:12

Ughhh rid yourself of that abusive financial mess of a child....

And his 'video games'

Original poster
Illysidiot · 25/03/2014 20:13

Luckily kids have never been on the cards. Sometimes I literally have to act like his mum and that makes me feel a bit ill.

OP posts:
Original poster
Illysidiot · 25/03/2014 20:14

sponge not nasty no! there was probably a healthy dose of exasperation in my reaction, that's about it.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 25/03/2014 20:14

Oh Op you deserve more than that. Do you live together?

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