Words you don't want to hear when stuck in an awkward position.

[2kidsintow]

"Oops, I've just popped a vein there!"
While being injected with dye while lying strapped into the MRI machine table.

Urgh. Hurt too and is going to leave an impressive bruise.

Ouch!! Hope you're ok.

The most worrying I have heard was when I was having my smear last year and the doctor all of a sudden whispered "Hmmmm....odd". Didn't hurt, but it freaked me out!

That would freak me out too!

Whilst undergoing laser eye surgery: "No! Don't move your eye!"

Oh no, three. I was sooooo tempted by eye surgery a few years ago after someone at work had it. But I just can't keep my eyes still voluntarily when I really have to.

The laser eye surgery incident would freak me out. I would love to have laser done, but am a bit of a freak about my eyes. It would be lovely to not have to wear glasses all the time but I just cant do it. Besides, the frames of my glasses cover the bags and dark circles under my eyes.

During my C Section I heard the surgeon say 'oh... Can you get doctor X... Quickly!'

My heart skipped a beat.

(Everything was fine though!)

Ent surgeon (pre op) looking up my nose for nasal polyps and saying "bloody hell !" Quickly followed by "HOW have you been breathing !"

He later removed a massive amount of polyps

I was mid crowning with DC1 when a man in a suit came in and said "Oh God, we've got one of those". DH threw him out so I still have no idea who he was or what on earth he meant.

Not super awkward but when the physio looked at my bare feet for the first time she said, in a voice of disgust 'have your feet always been like that?'

They have.

'Could you give this lady some IV antibiotics please I didn't have time to scrub up'

Shortly after ds2 was pulled out by a man who had run into the room pulling on elbow-length gloves 2 mins before, and was now running back out whilst pulling the gloves off.

I'd been laying there wondering why there was such a lot of rummaging about in my tum during my csection for a breech baby. The midwife explained after that ds2 was transverse and 9lbs, and the surgeon supposed to be getting him out couldn't,..... so they'd rung for a consultant or other surgeon who'd been elsewhere! I'd had no idea as I was behind the little green curtain!

Great thread OP. Loving all of these...

having cold colposcopy treatment for pre cancerous cells on cervix - nothing cold about that searing hot metal rod that doctor brushed against my thigh with an 'oppsy' before aiming for cervix...i still have the scar on my leg!!

Pre surgery while changing, through curtain: "is your name , address ,date of birth "

I didn't have a lot of faith that I was going to wake up having had the correct surgery that day...

At the dentist under sedation. He said 'oh bugger' then I heard the drill. I knew he shouldn't have been using a drill if it had all gone according to plan. I remember I thought to myself, happy thoughts and started to sing songs to myself in my head. It turned out the root had snapped and the rest was embedded so he had to drill the rest out.

Oh no that sounds painful!

My ten week old was born "en caul" - still inside the amniotic sac. When his head emerged someone said "where's his face?" before they realised.

That was a bit startling to hear

I was having the bottom half of a back wisdom tooth removed at Guys hospital, after my dentist had the previous day broken the top half off trying to extract it and then decided to give up. Operation was being done by student. Supervisor explained in advanced how he had to cut the tooth in half with a little circular saw, and that the saw had to make a 90 degree turn after entering the jaw bone. When supervisor returned he commented "You turned the wrong way."

Whilst giving a blood sample...

All was going well until the phlebotomist suddenly exclaimed in a high pitched panicked voice "Oh dear! it shouldn't be doing that!" I glanced down at my arm only to see blood dripping freely all over the floor. Cue uncharacteristic fainting episode. Apparently there was a problem with the butterfly clip thingy. Usually I am the extremely unsquimish, but something about his panicky voice made me go!

"I can't find it"

That was what I heard when having some vaginal swabs done by the nurse at my GP surgery. She was talking about my cervix...I think.

Oh bum. Thought I'd put this in chat! Never mind.

Here's another one.

Do you do a lot of horse-riding?

Whilst in labour with DD1 with the midwife peering at the business end.

When in hospital and I had to have a catheter..

Nurse: 'oh'
Me: what what what??!!
Nurse: 'erm, just let me get another nurse...'
Other nurse comes, she also fails to get the catheter sited.

Nurse 2: 'I'll just go get a senior shall I'

Nurse 3 comes.

Nurse 3: 'aha, it's a twisted bladder methinks!'

Oh right

"Oh god I can't get it out" in voice full of panic followed by "where is x I can't get it out" voice in heightened state of panic. X walks in . "Where were you?!" "In the lift" has a look "why was it left this late?!" No answer from anyone although I was thinking the same.

What the first doctor had trouble with was my cervical suture and I was in advanced labour. Bloody painful to remove esp as I only had gas and air. I had been in hospital for over 12 hours and the midwife had only just clicked that I wasn't going to deliver well if it was still in place.

Mid smear test.

Nurse: "Oh. Oh.....oh. Hmmm. Oh."
Me: "is anything wrong?"
Nurse: "yes. No. No. I just can't find your cervix. (doubtfully) I'm sure it's in there, though."

I once had to tell a woman that the 'thing' she was feeling that she thought was her G-Spot, was in fact her cervix

Also after DD1 lying in stirrups with midwives assessing the damage after DD tore the inside with her hand"

"What should we do with this bit?"

"Hmmmm....yeah that's too awkward isn't it?"

"You could try stitching..Oh no that won't work"

"I think it'll just heal itself just leave it"

I was just lying there trying to guess what kind of state they might looking at

'Hmmmm... Looks like the head gasket.'

On the M4.