Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be bothered about Wedding Anniversaries?

43 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 16/03/2014 10:33

It is mine and DH's first Wedding Anniversary today and it's fair to say that I really don't see the big deal.

We haven't got each others cards or presents and we aren't planning on celebrating it in any way. I said "Happy Anniversary" to him this morning but I doubt it will be mentioned again Smile

When friends/family have their Wedding Anniversaries I never buy them cards either.....I feel it is just another ploy by all the Card Making Companies to make people depart with their money Smile

When my friends asked what me and DH were doing to celebrate they looked at me in amazement when I said "Nothing" Smile

Is it just me????

OP posts:
StrawberryCheese · 16/03/2014 10:43

It's our first wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks. I'm planning on getting DH a card and making something paper related. We will both be working on the day and not sure if we will do anything special in the evening, we are on holiday a week later anyway. It has been a tough first year for us and so I'd like to acknowledge it as a 'we made it' date and look to the future but there's not going to be a big fanfare.

I think wedding anniversaries are worth noting when they are significant, silver/golden anniversaries etc.

Happy anniversary to you both anyway Smile

Chocotrekkie · 16/03/2014 10:44

I make a cake I like cake but we dont do cards or presents or anything like that.

Happy anniversary Cake

tiaramasu · 16/03/2014 10:46

If you are both in agreement, you can do what you like!

JumbledAndTumbled · 16/03/2014 10:46

We don't buy cards or do anything very much either. However, now that we have been married a kabillion years we might have a nice supper and a reminisce. I am very proud (not sure that's the right word) of how long we have been married so, for me, the significance of anniversaries increases over time.

headlesslambrini · 16/03/2014 10:46

nope we do nothing as well. Generally a ''happy anniversary' in the morning with a snog. He only get's a shag when it's a big one Wink

Ginnytonic82 · 16/03/2014 10:47

It's totally up to you, who cares what others think? We don't do anything for valentines day which raises a few eyebrows with some of our friends. We do celebrate our wedding anniversary but again that's our decision, some people (mil) felt we went over the top celebrating our first anniversary, but it was our choice, our money, our thing. Just do what makes you happy.

cookielove · 16/03/2014 10:48

No we did nothing last year (our first) but we are crap when it comes to this kind of stuff!

dunsborough · 16/03/2014 10:50

Yanbu. I am the same. In fact one year I forgot!

Orangeisthenewbanana · 16/03/2014 10:57

It's entirely up to the 2 of you. We went away for a lovely long weekend for our first, did nothing at all for our second as we had 3 month old DD and plan to have a nice day off work for this one while DD is at nursery to spend a rare bit of time just the two of us. Then use it as a good reason to ask my parents to babysit so we can go out for a meal in the evening Smile.

Each to their own.

HadABadDay2014 · 16/03/2014 11:00

Always celebrate our wedding anniversary with either a meal at home with nice wine or go out.

If you don't want to celebrate then you don't have to.

Yama · 16/03/2014 11:00

YANBU.

We don't celebrate ours either.

My parents never did/don't. They have been married more than 40 years. When asked, they just say that it is more important to be nice to each other every day. I guess I agree.

LokiDokey · 16/03/2014 11:02

Been a standing joke for the last 17 years with dh that we got married on the 18th when actually it was the 16th. He's always thought he was being funny.
We don't celebrate, don't do cards etc just wish each other a happy anniversary. Last year I wished him happy anniversary on the 16th and he said "haha very funny it's the 18th" I pointed out after 17 years that joke was wearing thin. Turns out he's been doing it for so long he's actually convinced himself it is the 18th and I had to dig out the wedding certificate to prove it.
Good job I'm not a sensitive sort.

Op you do what suits your marriage, personally we don't believe in cards and flowers but if others do that's fine.

MissHobart · 16/03/2014 11:17

We just had our first anniversary and we pushed the boat out to celebrate mainly as I'm not pregnant yet (2x MC) and went back to where we got engaged and spent a fortune on great dinner and wine, got each other cards. I think we probably will celebrate with cards and dinner in the future but not so fancy!

I think for us this first one was special (once I wanted to celebrate which was only from a couple of days before as prior to that I just saw it as a reminder that we still didn't have a babyHmm ) but until maybe 5 or 10 I don't think we'll really be bothered!

What I did find really weird is that we got about 6 cards from other people Confused I see it as a day for us to acknowledge not anyone else! Do I have to start remembering everyone else's wedding anniversaries?! Hmm

IdaArnold · 16/03/2014 11:17

YANBU you can do whatever suits you both.

I find it annoying that some people expect their friends and family to make a big fuss on their wedding anniversary. Both my parents and PIL expect presents every year and on the big ones we've got to club together to send them away for a weekend or trek up there and take them out for a posh dinner. It really pisses me off. Surely its something between the two of them. I wasn't even at the sodding wedding.

So OP I like your attitude Grin

Sukebind · 16/03/2014 11:29

I think it's up to you how you celebrate but I do agree with other posters about the expectation to mark other couples' anniversaries. My inlaws expect a card every year and as my SIL sent us a card every year we now have to reciprocate now she is also married. I know it is being ungrateful but I would rather they all didn't bother sending us one. I also didn't send some friends one on their first anniversary as I was really broke and just couldn't afford an expensive card. I got the impression it was rather a faux pas.

squoosh · 16/03/2014 13:30

YANBU, your anniversary, your choice to mark it or not mark it.

I personally think it's a bit sad not to celebrate it even in some small way.

Don't understand couples though who expect people aside from their spouse to acknowledge their anniversary, it's a private thing between two people.

bragmatic · 16/03/2014 13:33

We've forgotten every single one of ours. All 11 of them. Buggered if I'm remembering any one else's!

LauraAshleyDuvetCover · 16/03/2014 13:36

Miss most people I know tend to mark other people's first anniversary, but not really after that (until the special ones), so you might not get them next year.

tunnocksteacake · 16/03/2014 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amber76 · 16/03/2014 14:01

I don't know anyone who does a big celebration - on our first I gave him a photo collage (something which I wanted to do anyway for the house) and he gave me cash to spend on myself. So we observed the "paper" thing. But I'm not rigidly going to do that every year.
I think its nice to just do something together - maybe a nice lunch and a walk on a beach or something.
I have never sent someone a card unless its a golden anniversary or something. And one person sent us a card last year - someone we don't even know particularly well...I thought it was a bit odd. And I won't be sending that person a card on their anniversary - refuse to start a thing that is hard to stop!

Caterina99 · 16/03/2014 14:08

Our fourth wedding anniversary is coming up soon. We may go out for a meal on the weekend (it's a wed), and we will wish each other happy anniversary, but no cards or gifts.

On our first anniversary we got a few cards from family and close friends, but none after that. A text from my mum probably!

It's your anniversary so do what you like!

CoffeeTea103 · 16/03/2014 14:16

You sound very boring but I guess as long as you both agree to do nothing, then it doesn't really matter.
DH and I always do something special, it is a very memorable day!

DoJo · 16/03/2014 16:08

I don't know anyone who cares what anyone else does for their anniversary. MN seems to have a lot of people who take some sort of pride in being competitively disinterested in almost any form of celebration or potentially fun event, but I've never met anyone in real life who would give a monkeys what anyone else chooses to do on their anniversary.

Personally, I think that any excuse to do something a bit different, treat yourselves and each other or just relax and have a bit of time 'off' together is worth embracing, but if you don't then I can't imagine what kind of person would really be 'amazed' at someone else's anniversary plans.

DoJo · 16/03/2014 16:09

tunnocksteacake

I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time - I hope your husband beats the odds and you have a lovely anniversary.

Floralnomad · 16/03/2014 16:18

We have been married 25 yrs this year and we never celebrate ours . It suits us ,we don't really do each other's birthdays either and don't do Valentines day ,we are a very happy couple . The one year we went for a meal out our then 17 yr old DS tagged along as he likes the restaurant we were going to ,so very romantic !

Swipe left for the next trending thread