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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me like skiing?

45 replies

Lillilly · 23/02/2014 21:06

I am terrified if skiing, but DH loves snowboarding, so we are going for a couple if days to a basic resort.
I can just sit and watch, but I'd like to be doing something really.
The ski fear is best defined as a fear of sliding. The best I have managed us to zig zag down a children's slope, by taking the skis off at each zig, turning then putting them back on to do the zag as I was too scared to turn, in case I just slid off.
I had lessons , the instructor thought maybe skiing wasn't for me as I was frozen by fear.
I watched some Olympic cross country, and thought small undulations looked almost doable?
Has anyone overcome ski fear?

OP posts:
iseenodust · 23/02/2014 21:11

Sounds like a really crap instructor. Consider giving it another go with an instructor. They know they have to build the confidence of beginners. IME Austrian, Australian (in Austria) & American instructors best.

For other activities there are usually walks and often separate sledge routes.

poshme · 23/02/2014 21:12

I have just got back from a week skiing, and had moments of pure fear, but also moments of joy. IMO you need to find the right instructor IF you really want to ski.
A sympathetic, (possibly female) older instructor who you can spend some 1:1 time with explaining your fear.
Do you really want to learn? How about cross country skiing? Seems like hard work to me but fear factor is less I presume. Or snow-shoe walking? You can go out with a guide and walk up snowy mountains...?

Good luck!

WipsGlitter · 23/02/2014 21:15

I concur 1-1 instruction is the best idea. I too have the fear. I have wept on many a mountain.

Amy106 · 23/02/2014 21:15

I would suggest trying again but with a different instructor. Someone who is patient and understands you want to learn but need help. Skiing can be fun but you just need to build up your confidence. Be gentle on yourself and think baby steps. Good luck!

iseenodust · 23/02/2014 21:16

Just so you know I understand your fear. I have been in tears with ski fear. I've been with friends who have cried. One friend turned the air blue at one French instructor when she saw his plan. Oh and I've literally been picked up by strange men when I've fallen and got stuck because I'm bum heavy.

joanofarchitrave · 23/02/2014 21:17

I would give cross-country skiing one go, then would stop. In the future, if dh wants to snowboard, I'd suggest you stay in a resort where he can reach the slopes by bus and you can do something more interesting else instead. Going late in the season may help? - more to do lower down.

whois · 23/02/2014 21:18

Cross country is actually really hard and you will be much less in control on the downhills and WAY more likely to fall over as a beginner crossX than beginner alpine. The boots are soft leather things and your heel isn't clipped in and the skis are super thin.

If you really want to like skiing then a week of one on one private lessons with an understanding instructor will do you wonders.

Not too long either, maybe 2h lesson each morning. Then you stop for lunch and relax and maybe go out with DP in the afternoon if you feel confident.

Pick a smaller resort suited to beginners and go in a quiet week.

Pick somewhere that has other things to do so you can go for a swim or a snowshoe hike if you don't want to ski in the afternoon.

Head over to a skiing forum like snowheads and they will be able to recommend a suitable resort and probably an instructor who is good at helping nervous adults.

If you like being in the mountains and being active then I recommend snowshoeing.

bigTillyMint · 23/02/2014 21:19

Lillilly, I have been going skiing with DH and (for the last 10 years) the DC for about 16 years. I still have the fearSad

I can ski reds, and could probably ski a black - it's not lack of technique, it's lack of confidence. And dodgy knees (tore cruciate ligament in one knee first time skiing)

No idea what to suggest other than walking with/without "raquettes" is good in a pretty resort. And taking your Kindle/books.

whois · 23/02/2014 21:22

I'd suggest you stay in a resort where he can reach the slopes by bus and you can do something more interesting else

I wouldn't! That way everyone has a shit holiday and no one is doing really what they want.

trixymalixy · 23/02/2014 21:23

Are you anywhere near a snow dome in the UK?

Could you do a few 1-1 lessons there before going?

Ineedanewone · 23/02/2014 21:26

Hi Lilylily,
You could be me! I had more beginners classes than anyone else I know , at least 4 weeks worth and even tried cross country, but like you I couldn't bear the sensation of sliding, although I could go up on chair lifts and cable cars I could not overcome the fear of sliding out of control. In the end we chose beautiful resorts with well planned walikng routes ( Austria is very good for this) and I would wave the family off, go for a walk and then get a cable car or chair lft to meet them for lunch. We can't afford these holidays at the moment, but I can honestly say they have been some of my best holidays as the scenery, air and atmosphere is beyond compare. I am also really good at apres skiing!

RuddyDuck · 23/02/2014 21:28

I hate skiing - tried it rwice, really didn't get on with it - but dh adores it. So he goes without me. No big deal, he's been with other families who don't mind a hanger on, and has also been a couple of times with ds2 and they've both had a ball.

Not sure why I would pay money to go on a holiday I know I won't enjoy. Yes, I could take lots of books and read whilst dh and ds are whizzing down the slopes but I really feel that would be a waste of time and money.

Original poster
Lillilly · 23/02/2014 21:28

I had lessons last year on the local dry slope before we went, with two instructors, one was better than the other , but the fear is similar if this makes sense, to my fear of ( low) heights, I get vertigo if I stand on a chair.
We will only go for a couple if days to a municipal slope rather than a resort, so it's not too bad to read a book, I feel such a wimp though!

OP posts:
specialsubject · 23/02/2014 21:30

too expensive a game not to enjoy. Let him go on his own.

you're not alone in this, it isn't for everyone and why should you push yourself? Skiing is not a life skill that you need in the UK!

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 23/02/2014 21:31

I am a total wimp at skiing. After many lessons, i still stick to the easiest slopes. But I enjoy it. I don't put myself under any pressure to try harder slopes. I enjoy the beautiful scenery, the fresh air, and keep working on improving my confidence.

However, I recommend even one private lesson will really help you. Tell the ski school what you have said here, and ask them to match you with a suitable instructor. I made fabulous progress on a three hour private lesson.
It is really worth the extra money.

Best of luck. I hope you have a great holiday. Come back and let us know how you got on.

NormHonal · 23/02/2014 21:32

I've tried it (admittedly at a snow dome) and also have the fear.

It is something I do want our young DCs to enjoy, so at some point I will start gritting my teeth and will agree to pay thousands for DH and them to have holidays I don't/can't enjoy.

But not yet. I want a year or two more of beach holidays first (can't afford both).

Original poster
Lillilly · 23/02/2014 21:41

The more I think of it actually the size of the fear is coming back!
This is only a couple of days of our holiday and not expensive as we will just go for the day to a cheap local slope, so there is no great cost. I'm thinking the book and hoping to make £250 with my phone camera may be the best bet after all..

OP posts:
iseenodust · 24/02/2014 10:10

I'm really not wanting to add to your problems but if you fear the height of a chair how do you get on with dangling on chair lifts/riding cable cars?

Some resorts have great municipal swimming complexes. Nothing beats swimming in a warm pool while snow flakes fall all around.

cornishcreamtea · 24/02/2014 10:20

I found that as the years progressed instead of becoming more confident I just became more frightened and was constantly thinking "what if?".

Then I realised I just did not want to put myself through this anymore. Either my late husband just used to go with my sons and I would do my own thing at home or I would go with them but just enjoy watching the world go by with a cup of coffee whilst they skied and would meet them for lunch etc.

furrymuff · 24/02/2014 10:25

I'm the same, DH loves to snowboard, as do the DS', but I hate the out of control feeling. We usually go to Norway where the slopes are really quiet (sometimes I don't see another person on the whole run!), and this does help, but I stick to the easy slopes. They all bugger off to the black runs! I only ever do a couple of hours in the morning, meet them all for lunch, then spend the rest of the day in the cabin reading and drinking wine hot chocolate Grin

This year we couldn't justify the cost of going at half term if I wasn't going to ski (we always used to go one week either side of the school holiday), so DH is going away with a friend.

meditrina · 24/02/2014 10:47

If the whole sensation scares you, then try once more with a good instructor but be ready to say after that that it is simply not for you.

Then book future holidays to places where he can snowboard and you can do something else but share great evenings together. This means looking carefully at resorts because many have little/nothing else to do. Do you skate (or is that also too scary?) or might you like to try curling or snow-shoe hiking?

Otherwise, look for swimming pools, a spa, yoga classes, massage or day trips.

lljkk · 24/02/2014 11:45

you don't sound like a natural skier, OP, I don't think you'll easily get over those fears (speaking from observation of friends with similar). I'm a bit of a chicken skier, but I used to take on any slope, just in my sliding rather than graceful style. I learnt to ski as a child, though, maybe couldn't have done it as an adult.

VivaLeBeaver · 24/02/2014 11:49

I can ski, I can ski fairly well. Ten years of skiing and was a bit nervous at first but not as bad as you describe. I can ski easy blacks now.

However last year I just decided I didn't really enjoy it. Dh loves it, I've always sloped off early to read a book in the chalet. Last year I spent two days sledging which was far more fun!

Have decided I need to never go skiing again. Its too expensive to do if you don't love it.

Creamycoolerwithcream · 24/02/2014 12:03

I loved it the first time I went. The second time I went I was 10 years older and hated it. I did the beginners class again, completely lost my nerve and woke the whole hotel up one night screaming out during a nightmare that I was falling of the edge of the mountain! Now DH goes with his friends each year and DC go on the school trips. DH and I usually enjoy the same holidays but I have accepted skiing is not for me. Like others have said it's very expensive unless you really enjoy it.

KeinBock · 24/02/2014 12:13

I've skiied all my life & there are few things I enjoy more. That said, I've encouraged quite a few reluctant friends, boyfriends etc to join me over the years, and some have taken to it, others haven't. It's true to say that some people just really don't like skiing - and perhaps you're one of them.

I'd give it another chance, all the same. Have some private lessons, one on one, for at least a few sessions. Failing this, going to a resort with other activities on offer (outdoor thermal swimming pools, walking trails, cookery schools etc are all good) seems like a decent compromise. Alternately you could always just enjoy the scenery and malinger about in the chalet with your nose stuck in a good book or three... I can think of worse fates!