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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have thought that conceiving dc2 should have been easy:-(

29 replies

RedPencilPot · 14/02/2014 19:03

We conceived dc1 easily and now he is 13 months would love another.

We've been trying since he was 6 months but no joy yet

I really thought it would happen quickly.

I'm 34 dh is 39, should we be visiting the GP?

Bit of a crap AIBU I know but am sure there will be some words of wisdom

OP posts:

Sourpickles · 14/02/2014 19:14

Yanbu. Me too.

brettgirl2 · 14/02/2014 19:16

I had the same it took 7 months with dd2, one halfhearted attempt dd1. You'll probably get lucky soon? I resorted to cbfm and conceived the second month.

kc77 · 14/02/2014 19:21

Are you ebf? We only conceived dd 2 months after I had stopped ebf ds. But we had been ttc from 2 months after ds birth x

rachyconks · 14/02/2014 19:24

I had it the other way round - almost a year to conceive DD, first go with this one. The doctor won't be interested unless you've been trying for a year or more ime.

MrsCakesPremonition · 14/02/2014 19:25

It took me a very long time to have DC2. As you've been trying for 6 months, I'd go to your GP and ask their advice. Even if they say come back in another 6 months, at least the conversation will be logged on your records.

AnnieLobeseder · 14/02/2014 19:30

A friend of mine conceived DC1 within a month of trying, thought DC2 would be just as easy but suffered countless MCs and treatments and took early 10 years to conceive DC2. Her DC3 turned out to be as easy as DC1!

Another friend took several years and MCs before she had her DC1, but her DC2 came along unexpectedly only 13 months later.

There appears to be very little rhyme or reason to how long it can take to conceive and varies wildly even for a the same couple.

Don't worry too much just get, though it would't hurt to seek a GP's opinion. Good luck!!

Tallalime · 14/02/2014 19:32

We have been trying to conceive dc2 for 2 years.

I got pregnant with DD while I was on the pill... go figure

mumminio · 14/02/2014 19:35

Same here. Breastfeeding (and pumping at work) a 10 month old. Periods returned, but very lightly. 2nd one was a week late and we thought we might be expecting...but nope.

Looking back, I'm surprised how little I knew about fertility/pregnancy/motherhood/what to look for in a husband. If I have a daughter, I will tell her sooo much more than what my own mother told me!

Oh and this if you're breastfeeing kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility/

Good luck and try to be patient.

AmIGoingMad · 14/02/2014 19:36

It took us longer with dc2. Both times though we conceived the first month we used the cb ovulation thing (not the fertility monitor- although I had bought it as was convinced it was another bad month then got the bfp!

ikeaismylocal · 14/02/2014 19:44

We have it the opposite way around. Ds is 13 months and it took years to get pregnant with him, we both have fertility issues, I'm still breastfeeding ds throughout the day and night but I got a positive pregnancy test yesterday. We hadn't even been really trying, just not preventing as it seemed so unlikely that I'd get pregnant easily ever

The Dr won't do anything until you have been ttc for a year, 6 months really is no time at all.

Sleepyhead33 · 14/02/2014 20:10

Cbfm worked for us too.

7 months of trying at 34 it probably worth going to the Dr to get a few of the basic tests done to see if you are ovulating etc though they might want you to wait a few more months. Nothing to be lost for going for a chat.

Can also recommend a great book 'taking charge of your fertility'. Explains so much about fertility and conception.

Good luck, I know ttc is an incredibly frustrating time.

Original poster

RedPencilPot · 14/02/2014 20:16

Would the cbfm work for long and often irregular cycles?

OP posts:

KittenCamile · 14/02/2014 20:25

My DP had no problem conceiving his DD1 (my DSD) and now has a 0 sperm count, we are 1.5 yrs into investigations and treatment. I would go see a GP as soon as you can just to have a few tests (both of you). Would put your mind at rest at least. Good luck

LucilleBluth · 14/02/2014 20:27

Six months is nothing. With DS1 and 2 I got pregnant my just glancing at DH, DD took a year, I was in shock but apparently a year is totally normal.

Good luck.

Marylou62 · 14/02/2014 20:27

DS1 on 1st s**g after being away for a year! DH (then boyfriend) had said he didn't want the marriage and kids thing so I left and nannied in South America. DD took 18 months and DS2, again 1st try after convincing Dh to have another.

CrispyFB · 14/02/2014 20:30

I conceived within 1-2 months with seven pregnancies (not all of them resulted in children!) Then when we went for DC4, not a sausage for 14 cycles. Had testing, nothing wrong. Then one month we got lucky at last - perhaps it was the combination of supplements I was taking or perhaps it was nothing different at all.

Bodies can be funny things.

TisTheSeasonToBeUnreasonable · 15/02/2014 07:03

It's very demotivating isn't it? I fell pregnant with DS1 whilst on the depo 9yrs ago - followed by 7years of trying for ds2 ....doctors had no idea why it wasn't happening, even the fertility doc had no idea so was classed as secondary infertility.
A month before we started ICSI I fell pregnant! Then after he was born fell pregnant again almost immediately and now have 10months between my youngest two

Def worth popping to gp and discussing the issue

galwaygirl · 15/02/2014 07:11

The length of time trying before referral goes from one year at under 35 to 6 months at over 35 so as you are on the cusp definitely go to GP now and get it registered.
CBFM probably more useful in situations where your cycle is irregular than with regular cycles where ovulation should be predictable.

PinkandPoo · 15/02/2014 07:38

Dc1 took one month

Dc2 took 5 years and 3 rounds of IVF

We now have a 6 year age gap.

Fertility is unpredictable, you should never take it for granted.

There's no harm in going to GP, they may do basic blood tests but probably won't refer you on until you've been trying for a year if your under 35. Good luck :)

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/02/2014 09:13

6 months is no time at all. Try not to get wound up about it.

PicaK · 15/02/2014 09:48

No yanbu. Secondary infertility can be upsetting - google it and you willl see a lot of shock on discussion boards.

You can either wait and see and if nothing happens then go on the waiting lists to be seen. Or ask to be referred now so you're on the waiting list while you're waiting iyswim. Maybe you will get pregnant and feel a bit foolish for worrying. But if you don't then you've set the ball rolling.

Obviously google all the getting pregnant tips too.

Brices · 15/02/2014 10:04

First DC accident was on the pill. Decided I wanted a sibling and needed to get on with it as was 38.
Once periods returned, tried the ovulation kits. First two months bought the expensive kits, no luck.
Thought I'd try cheaper tesco kit, couldn't read it the lines too small, so thought sod it lost a month there. And that of course was the month I got pregnant.
Human body very strange. Seriously if I wanted a third child I would have one month being very conscientious monitoring and the next chill out and think it won't happen this month.
When I was working at a fertility clinic I read a book by Zita West and I as professional found very useful but I also thought her tone very good as well.
Wish you good luck x

themaltesefalcon · 15/02/2014 10:08

I don't wish to cause upset, but perhaps your body is simply telling you you aren't ready yet. I'd advocate just enjoying the baby you have (and the sex!) and forgetting about it, as much as possible.

I was told when I had my first that a second is virtually impossible for me and perhaps that was a blessing. It has opened my mind to other routes (especially adoption) to take when my child is bigger.

I also never allowed myself the luxury of fantasising about another little newborn. I do get a little wistful from time to time, but find thinking hard about endless nappies, laundry, no sleep (ever, until the end of time), the hit to my career prospects in the future, the worry about housing an extra when they get too big to share a room with you, etc., ad nauseam, soon puts paid to those feelings.

BerniceBroadside · 15/02/2014 10:10

It probably feels like years, but in medical terms it's well within normal limits. You won't get a referral until at least 12 months (2 years in some areas) given your age and proven fertility unless there are other issues. And they won't offer much anyway as you have a child unless you go private.

Most couples conceive naturally within 2 years so please try not to stress too much. Stress won't affect your fertility, but it will make you miserable.

HypodeemicNerdle · 15/02/2014 10:36

I remember those feelings so well. Our first DC was an accident (very welcome but a surprise!), second DC I conceived on the second month of trying, 3rd DC took 13 months.

We weren't entitled to any fertility assistance as we'd proved ourselves fertile in the past.

In the end we we're lend a book about natural family planning from a catholic friend (it was about avoiding pregnancy without using contraception) and coincidence or not I was pregnant soon after.

Interestingly enough another friend who had been trying for around the same length of time borrowed the book after me and it worked for her too. Wish I could remember the name of it

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