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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you and your spouse would spend on each other for a present for a big milestone birthday?

73 replies

deliverdaniel · 07/02/2014 03:06

Just that really? What would you/ did you spend for a milestone birthday present? Would you consider yourselves to be on a tight budget or relatively comfortable?

Thank you!

OP posts:
bluebeanie · 07/02/2014 04:07

I've just turned 30. Dh spent about £70. We're not that bothered about expensive gifts. Our budget is usually £30.

LastOneDancing · 07/02/2014 04:20

I think we both spent about 1k on each others 30th gifts (v posh weekends away)

But this was when we had no DC, were renting, both FT and lots of expendable income.

Now it would be a lot less! Maybe £200 on a night away & meal?

Electryone · 07/02/2014 04:29

My DH gave me flowers and we had a meal out for my 40th so probably about 50....we have just booked 3 nights in New York in December for his 40th so a lot more than 50!!! But I still get to go and enjoy it to! It is a one mind you.

singaporeswing · 07/02/2014 04:31

Watching with interest - it's DP's 30th in a couple of months and not sure on what to get him, what to spend etc.

I'm 5 years younger and have been a student for most of our time together. I'm now in a good job, earning decent money and low outgoings.

I'm thinking along the same lines as LastOne, around the 1k mark including a weekend in Thailand, meal and presents.

Blueuggboots · 07/02/2014 04:42

We both agreed that the monetary cost of a present didn't matter - big or small - it's the thought behind it.
I got a painting for Christmas that cost a lot of money, but also got a USB "mixed tape" that had songs on that mean something to us. Opposite ends of the scale monetary wise but both fantastic presents. Grin

scantilymad · 07/02/2014 04:45

I just turned 30 and DH was ridiculously generous. I promise I'm not a spoiled brat but consisted of surprise night away in 5 star hotel with private dining for 10 friends, champagne, chocolate and flowers in room. Also embarrassed to say he also treated me to handbag I had liked for ages and a car. Prob about £8k altogether. It was fantastic but we don't normally do much for other birthdays or spend much other times of the year.
It was more the thought he had put in to everything that was overwhelming.
For his 40th next year I am already saving for a trip.

Chottie · 07/02/2014 05:11

I've been with DP for a long time (40 years :)) and over that time our financial situation has been up and down. It's the thought, not the money that's important. The most DP has spent was a 5* holiday somewhere hot and a diamond ring and the least was a plant for the garden and a cup of coffee in bed (first thing in the morning and DP is not a morning person).

If you have the money available, I would use it and do something special, it's lovely to have those memories to look back on :)

BobaFetaCheese · 07/02/2014 05:15

What's bought this thread on OP?
Is there a milestone coming up, MN bargain hunters may be able to help if you're on a budget!

Perfectlypurple · 07/02/2014 05:43

I spent over £600 on a jacket for my husbands 50th. It was something he always wanted and I had a savings plan pay out so I had the money. I wouldn't have spent that if I hadn't had the pay out.

chanie44 · 07/02/2014 07:57

Oh got me an engagement ring for my 30th which was £700, but that was pre children. I bought him an iPad for £400 for his 40th, but we had children by then. I saved up religiously for about 18 months to afford that.

Now, we couldn't afford big presents like that, but we are 5 years away from another big birthday. We will spend what we can afford.

cory · 07/02/2014 08:00

Dh and I have both turned 50 in the last few years. Our gifts for each other have been family gifts really- money towards a holiday - and discussed in advance.

Didn't really regard 30 and 40 as milestones: I think he gave me a CD for my 30th.

bodygoingsouth · 07/02/2014 10:11

can't remember 30th. too long ago. our 40th meal with the older kids and seeing love actually at the cinema. Grin

just had 50th and we are fairly broke as getting 2 through uni and 2 teens so it was a Chinese takeaway and a bottle. it was great.

detest detest big gestures.

frumpet · 07/02/2014 10:17

Just out of curiosity when did a 30th birthday become a milestone birthday ?

overitalready · 07/02/2014 10:21

30th has always been a milestone in my eyes!

I got a surprise 4 day trip to Dublin for my 30th. so all in all about £700 i think he spent. Including spending money.

dp 50th is 2 years away and already saving. Not sure for what yet though.

ThoughtFox · 07/02/2014 10:30

Mmmm - I'm planning to take him for a day out in London for his 40th but it will probably be quirky rather than expensive, although will probably finish off with a nice meal. I'll buy him something nice if I see it (i.e. nice piece of art work etc)
We're comfortably off, but neither of us are big spenders.

Pigletin · 07/02/2014 10:32

It depends on the year so not necessarily for a milestone birthday, but we normally try not to waste money on cheap stuff that sits at home unused and focus more on trips/experiences together.

One year, my husband took me to Copenhagen for the cost of about £500, I have taken him to Amsterdam for about the same price. Last year he took me to Longleat Park for about £100 (tickets, gas, spending money) and I gave him a driving experience for about £200. The budget really depends on what we fancy doing that year and we don't necessarily reciprocate in terms of cost. You can book a cheap trip to the zoo and still make it special.

Trills · 07/02/2014 10:34

YABU to think that you'll get a meaningful or useful answer - it'll depend a lot on the finances of the couple and also how important they think presents/birthdays are.

Megrim · 07/02/2014 10:38

I got a Scalextric set for my 40th. It wasn't quite what I expected.

DracoMalfoysHairGel · 07/02/2014 10:39

For DH's 40th a couple of years ago I bought him a Rolex . I'd just got a huge bonus at work and wanted to get him something that he will keep forever . It's very classic and understated . My mum gave my dad an Omega 50 years ago which he still wears everyday so it was lovely to carry on the tradition.
Normally we only spend around £100 on birthdays so it was a big deal .

My 40th is soon and to be honest I'm not fussed about a huge present . I would just like a party as I've never had one .

Pigletin · 07/02/2014 10:40

I agree with Trills

And actually, why should there be a specific budget for birthdays? - just get something the other person would like based on what you can afford at the time. It doesn't have to be the same amount of money every year and the cost doesn't have to be reciprocated. The point is that you make an effort and make it fun for the other person. You could just make a special meal at home and have a great time together.

morethanpotatoprints · 07/02/2014 10:43

I don't think we have ever spent a great deal on birthdays, he bought me an eternity ring once, but not a milestone birthday.
I don't think it matters how much you spend its the thought that counts.

BalloonSlayer · 07/02/2014 10:45

Relatively comfortable although not feeling all that flush at the moment.

I have a big birthday coming up. If I wanted something pricey like:

IPAD
Party
Night in Hotel de Posh
even maybe Trip to New York

I reckon DH would be fine about it.

However I am not all that bothered about any of the above so no need to spend a lot at all.

HazleNutt · 07/02/2014 10:45

We don't buy each other birthday presents (we are very comfortable, so can just buy what we need or like). Usually just go out for a nice dinner, but as all our money is joint, I don't consider it him spending money on me, or vice versa.

Banacek · 07/02/2014 10:48

Around £100-£200, on a normal birthday it would be nearer £50. We save big spending for the DC!

Thisvehicleisreversing · 07/02/2014 10:50

For my 30th we paid for a party but my mum chipped in so probably spent about £50/£60. I didn't get a separate present.

For DH's 30th I spent about £50 on a watch and a takeaway.

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