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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how much you and your spouse would spend on each other for a present for a big milestone birthday?

73 replies

deliverdaniel · 07/02/2014 03:06

Just that really? What would you/ did you spend for a milestone birthday present? Would you consider yourselves to be on a tight budget or relatively comfortable?

Thank you!

OP posts:

Creamycoolerwithcream · 07/02/2014 14:15

For my 30th DH brought me a maternity dress, I was pregnant with DS3 and we went to the cinema to see Shakespeare in Love, so probably Around 40. For my 40th I had a big party with an open bar and went on a big twin center long haul holiday and a cruise, so about 8k. I've been a bit more consistent with my DH and spent about 40 to 80 on his big birthdays.

SlightlyTerrified · 07/02/2014 14:20

Anything up to £1k, for instance we went to NY for my 30th. I was on maternity leave on DHs 40th so I spent a couple of hundred on a party but not that much more from what I remember. We got him a keep sake present but it wasn't massively expensive.

We are fairly comfortable and both work however when we spend a lot of gifts it usually comes out of money we have earned doing overtime or extra work.

Original poster

deliverdaniel · 07/02/2014 14:26

Thanks everyone. Dh and I both turn 40 this year- him first. Want to give him something special as I have some saved. He's said he knows what he's getting me and I don't want to go wildly different with his so wanted to get a sense of the range! He's really hard to buy for though.

OP posts:

shewhowines · 07/02/2014 14:32

We had a nice trip away for 40th's. I did have a party, but more for other peoples benefit, than mine.

We don't do showy presents. If we want/need things then we get them throughout the year as required. Presents are token ones.

Merlotmonster · 07/02/2014 14:34

For my 40th my husband took me to le manoir aux quats season for 2 nights plus amazing meals and we went to the blenheim horse trials in the day..perfect...for his 40th this year we are doing a road trip from las vegas flying upperclass and going on a ranch for 5 days too followed by a couple of nights in vegas. ..ive been savig for 3 years..will cost around 8k but I always like to quote from mr rolls royce who said'quality is remembered long after price is forgotten'....

glasgowsteven · 07/02/2014 14:35

zero, we dont spend money on each other, joint account, we just do fun things anytime we want when we have the money

Joysmum · 07/02/2014 15:01

I find the question a bit weird and very sad tbh.

I honestly couldn't tell you what we've spent in the past because it doesn't matter! All that matters is that we've spent within our means and on things we thought the other would appreciate at the time. Hubby has bought me wheelbarrows and sheds, I'd shoot him if he bought me diamonds as it's a waste of money and not something I'd appreciate.

So sad that anyone needs to value their gifts, other than to ascertain whether it's affordable.

WipsGlitter · 07/02/2014 15:05

When I was 40 I got a mulberry handbag from DP, so £600 odd. When he turned 50 I took him to a swanky hotel for the weekend so about the same when you count trains and spending money.

WipsGlitter · 07/02/2014 15:05

Oh and he took 30 friends for dinner and that was £1000 but he paid for that.

MeDoingMyThing · 07/02/2014 15:06

DH 40th recently and I did a surprise party with food etc and a weekend in European city, all in all probably spent £2k altogether but did not set out to spend that. We have very cheap holidays and always have so trip away was treat for both of us. He loved the weekend away more I think despite the party being a nightmare to organise and involved dealing with some of his pals I'd rather not see.

MmeGuillotine · 07/02/2014 16:05

We generally spend about £70 on each other for birthdays and Christmas but it's my fortieth this October and he's taking me off to Berlin for six days so I can gawp at graffiti, dance to bad techno and eat vegan kebabs. It'll be the first time we've been away without the children for about seven years so I'm pretty excited!

I have another eight years to plan and save for my husband's fortieth. We weren't nearly so well off around our respective thirtieth birthdays due to having babies and selling property etc so I'd like to push the boat out for our next big birthdays.

5Foot5 · 07/02/2014 16:13

merlotmonster Snap!! We went there (Le Manoir) for my 40th and also for DHs a few years earlier.

MaidOfStars · 07/02/2014 17:14

for his 40th this year we are doing a road trip from las vegas flying upperclass ... will cost around 8k

Who are you flying with? That sounds cheap considering it includes transatlantic (assumption based on Le Manoir...) first class flights.

I took my husband to NY for his 40th (last year). It cost around £4k. However, obviously I got the benefit of it too

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 07/02/2014 17:17

We have had some milestone birthdays when we were skint and others when we weren't. So nothing when we were skint, taken to Geneva for a long weekend when I was 40, to Cotswolds when I was 50 and to Rome for 25 wedding. Dont' tend to do presents as such.

SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 18:18

It depends usually DH will buy me some clothes or take me out. We usually do something simple but sometimes we have done more extravagant things such as going away and buying me items for Tiffany.

scantilymad · 07/02/2014 18:23

*for his 40th this year we are doing a road trip from las vegas flying upperclass ... will cost around 8k

Who are you flying with? That sounds cheap considering it includes transatlantic (assumption based on Le Manoir...) first class flights.*

Seconded as Vegas is the trip I am saving for for next year. Hadn't considered UC but at that price I would do.

Mintyy · 07/02/2014 18:23

For my 40th dh organised a big party with food and a free bar in central London (shared with a mutual friend) and we went to Rome for 4 days.

For my 50th he bought me a mid-range laptop.

We are comfortable but not rolling in it.

Quoteunquote · 07/02/2014 18:38

We never buy each other presents on birthdays, Christmas, or any other "occasions"

but we do when we want something we just get it.

I came across a bit of art work the other day I knew DH would love, so I bought it, and gave it to him. I suppose most people would of kept it for next event day, can't be assed with that it seems silly. and I hate the forced buying of pointless things just for sake of it. I only buy things for people when I see something really worthwhile.

I hate being given presents , I need or want very little, and when I do, I like to get it for myself, I like being able to get my own things, I know what I like, I would hate to miss the chance to get it for myself.

Because we don't really do presents, nether of us mind if the other gets something for themselves.

I buy myself a decent new nikon every couple of years, DH could buy it for me, but why?

Nomama · 07/02/2014 18:54

We don't do birthday or Christmas presents. Well, if we can think of something we might.

But we always do our wedding anniversary. Small things or big things, it doesn't matter. But that week is sacrosanct. We may have a blow out his year (25th) or we may not, as we are buying a house and may decide that that is our present.

Oh! Thinking about it that way, the most I have spent is £200,000 :)

eggsandwich · 07/02/2014 20:32

I turned 50 in January and my DH brought me a lovely gold Tiffany bracelet which was over a £1000 and he also took me away for the weekend and had a lovely cake made for me and flowers, when I was 40 he brought me some diamond stud earrings and four my 30th I got a Gucci watch, I'm very lucky but it just depends on what you can afford.

Best1sWest · 07/02/2014 20:43

For my 50th all four of us went to Paris. I prefer memories to gifts so would always opt for a trip away somewhere.

Fantasyfootballfan · 07/02/2014 22:16

For Dh's 40th I paid for a party, free bar, catered, DJ which was about £1000. For mine we had a small party at home, went away for the weekend and he bought me a Rolex watch. We generally spend £50 on birthdays, don't buy each other Xmas presents or any other presents on other occasions so I don't feel it was too extravagant.

carabos · 07/02/2014 22:25

We had trips away for our 40th. I got DH an iPad for his 50th and he paid for a party for mine, which cost about the same and was what I wanted. Too busy having babies to do much for our 30ths apart from get married.

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