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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be extremely fucked off with comment in work and with DH

68 replies

HadABadDay2014 · 28/01/2014 22:26

In work today comment was made towards me that I am only par time and that of course I have the time and energy to cook and clean after work.

The conversation at break was about food wastage and I said I will cook and freeze left overs like curry stews spag Bol ECG or turn them into something else. I will also freeze fruit to make into smoothies if they are getting to the use by dates.

I know I do 3 days where as they do 5, but on those 2 days I am not just lounging around. I am still up with school runs and appointments.

To top it off walked in the house and all the housework I did yesterday was undone while DH sat on his ass for 3.5 hours before work.

OP posts:
Joules68 · 28/01/2014 22:28

Yanbu!!

OwlinaTree · 28/01/2014 22:30

Well isn't the point of working part time the fact you do have more free time?

PortofinoRevisited · 28/01/2014 22:31

Well they are 2 separate things. What anyone says at work, you just ignore. On the other hand your DH needs to learn to clean up after himself,

defineme · 28/01/2014 22:31

I'd be pissed off with dh, but I know I'm very very lucky to work part time and I just shrug and say they're right with a smile when I get that at work.

Financeprincess · 28/01/2014 22:32

Fair enough to be annoyed with DH but you need to lighten up about the comments of your work colleagues. Don't be one of those people who needs to tell everybody constantly how busy and tired they are. It's social cyanide.

Original poster
HadABadDay2014 · 28/01/2014 22:33

OwlinaTree, I don't really have much time to myself.

I have 2 children, one with autism

OP posts:
BruthasTortoise · 28/01/2014 22:33

But the point of being part time is that you have extra time in the week to catch up on chores etc is it not? At least it was when I was part time...

MrsWolowitz · 28/01/2014 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 28/01/2014 22:35

I would assume that a PT worker would have more.time and energy to spend on housework than a FT. However I wouldnt necessarily expect that PTer to spend their two other days doing all the HW.

FrillyMilly · 28/01/2014 22:35

I know how you feel. I work part time but when I'm at home I'm with the children not just lounging about alone or heading to the gym. Also a lot of my colleagues have no children so really don't understand how much attention children need.

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 28/01/2014 22:36

bruthas, only if your dc arent at home! I'm part time but 3 dc aged 3 and under at home. My dd does 6 hrs/ week at preschool, half of which when I'm working. Evenings are for most chores, bar basic slinging on of laundry and basics into slow cooker...

BruthasTortoise · 28/01/2014 22:38

I had small children at home when part time - still have them at home now I'm full time (non sleeping toddler!) and I had more time to squeeze chores etc in when I was part time.

fancyanotherfez · 28/01/2014 22:38

Yanbu! Tell them to go part time too if they are so jealous of you 'free time' ferrying kids around. Bet they'd love the part time pay!

BrandNewIggi · 28/01/2014 22:40

They are being pitas but from their perspective it is just banter I imagine. What are you going to do about your dh?

JoinYourPlayfellows · 28/01/2014 22:42

But the point of being part time is that you have extra time in the week to catch up on chores etc is it not?

Um... not.

There is no fucking way I would take the reduction in career opportunities and lower pay involved in part time work just so I could do more domestic chores.

It is worth it to me because it gives me more time to do stuff with my children and makes certain things easier to organise because I have slightly more flexibility.

But no, the point of it is not to make me into the house skivvy.

Although, it does make a certain amount of sense that people think of it that way.

God, women really must be fucking stupid if they are giving up work to do unpaid grunt work.

FudgefaceMcZ · 28/01/2014 22:43

Were you being all self-righteous about freezing things to prevent food waste and treating it as an individual failing if other people don't have time? Because if you were, I can see why your colleagues would point out that you do 3 days.

Your partner sounds like a bit of a tit though.

SeaSickSal · 28/01/2014 22:43

I think it depends on how you say it TBH.

If you were making a comment about not wasting food in a smug judgemental way then I think your colleagues would NBU to point out that you had more time than them. If they felt you were having a dig at them they had every right to point that out.

I work part time and I do have more time to do things like that. Even if you are still doing the school run, appts etc a lot of the people working full time will be doing that in their before and after work time rather than on days off. So they would have a lot less time.

I do try to be sensitive about this when talking to full timers.

OwlinaTree · 28/01/2014 22:46

Unfortunately I think it is assumed by men if you are at home more you do the housework. Somehow doing housework has become part of the sahp role.

The work thing is banter tho from the sound of it.

BackforGood · 28/01/2014 22:47

3 separate things - your dh not pulling his weight - yanbu to be annoyed with that
Colleagues voicing what they think - depends on your relationship with them. I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I get on well with my colleagues, and I suppose if I didn't like them then I'd worry even less.
Can't see why a statement of fact would wind you up so much. Obviously if you work 3 days you have more time to do other stuff than if you work 5 days. Thats why we accept 3/5 of a salary each month, to give us more time to do othr things.Confused as to why that would be annoying.

BruthasTortoise · 28/01/2014 22:52

I didn't mean that in a derogatory way - what I meant was that as you have more time to do the crappy chores then the time was freed up to spend more time with the DC. When I was part time I could spend some of my extra two days catching up on laundry and cooking which then freed up the weekends for family time. Now at least one day of my weekend is took up with this nonsense. And that's with a very supportive DH who pulls his weight.

Jemimapuddlemuck · 28/01/2014 22:52

Hard to say without knowing the full context of the comments but I would say YABU about your work colleagues, if you were being a bit holier than thou about your approach to domestic life. If you work part time you do have more time to plan things and cook from scratch if you choose to. Having to work all day, commute, maybe pick up kids from after school care, makes shopping for and cooking meals a lot harder than if you're spending the majority of your day at home.

YANBU about your DH who sounds like he's taking the piss.

grumpyoldbat · 28/01/2014 23:02

YANBU, I work part time and the comments from colleagues have been making have brought me close to tears recently. I work part time but I'm also a full time student nurse doing 40hr per week on placement and have assignments. I have been struggling to get everything done at home so what your colleagues said would upset me.

Original poster
HadABadDay2014 · 28/01/2014 23:05

Perhaps I may have got their backs up with regards to freezing, but I only do it to save wasting food which in the conversation.

Waiting for DH to get home and will be having a good chat.

OP posts:
JohnCusacksWife · 28/01/2014 23:12

But when you work part time you do have more time to do domestic stuff. Isn't that the point? I don't know many part timers who spend their "at home" days filing their nails and going out for lunch. Most of us are shopping, cleaning, washing and generally getting organised for the mayhem of the "working" days.

wishful75 · 28/01/2014 23:47

I think people can totally underestimate the impact of a child with autism and I would suspect that the Op working part time with an autistic child will have a lot more on her plate/less time than a full time worker with a nt child.

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