To make dd (8) to pay for a new school coat.....

[hillbilly]

....when she has lost 2 in the same amount of weeks?

Go into school and have a good search yourself. It must be there somewhere. Is it labelled. Primary school so will probably have just got mixed up with someone elses or on a different peg or something. Is it a unique one or is everyone wearing the same?

how is it her fault if it is not there?

Seems v mean at 8 without at least finding out why

Have they been stolen? Go into school to find out first before blaming her.

Yes knowing DD2 it will be two pegs along from where it should be.

Also check any other age group/boys clock rooms. Our teachers and cleaner were very casual about picking up stuff and shoving it in the nearest faintly relevant place.

Also if anyone is moving her stuff, to be mean, the wrong part of the cloakroom is easiest.

DD1 kept losing lunch boxes, one 1/2 of job share told her off for being scatty (which she is), the other 1/2 found them in the boys loo and somewhere else non accidental.

Always assume carelessness first, but it's not always the case.

Unlikely that I would actually make her pay but 2 weeks ago she came home without and it has not turned up and now this morning her other coat is nowhere to be seen. Both are labelled. One is a peacoat and one is a school uniform coat. She has not idea about the first loss. Hopefully the 2nd will turn up today. It goes hand in hand with her general scattiness and lack of concentration which we are trying to work on with her.

Most schools have a lost property box which you can rummage through or you can go into the school after the school day and ask if you can go and have a look in the cloakrooms. I am willing to bet both coats will be in the school somewhere.

How could she lose it, she presumably takes it off once in school, after break and lunch. They must have designated pegs also. I would take it up with the teacher, my ds1 teacher makes them zip up coats before she even opens the door

She would have said if it was stolen as in "my coat was not there at the end of the day" - she had choir after school yesterday so maybe she left it in the hall.

I need to calm the fuck down, get a grip and just try and find it. Sorry, it's been a very trying morning :-(

1st coat def lost. Not in lost property and not seen by any of the teachers.

In the classroom perhaps? in the car? wardrobe at home? coat cupboard? under her duvet?

I have made the same threat about school fleeces, they aren't a required part of school uniform but my 8 year old DS wanted one. He is very scatty, often leaving his coat at cubs, on the school playground, in friends cars etc, so I have bought one and told him I will replace if he grows out of it, but not if he loses it.

So far so good, he is really careful with it. Hopefully it is something that he grows out of and he will start taking care of his belongings.

Please be sure she isn't being bullied.

YABU she is 8.

The only explanation is someone took it. She's in school all day there's nowhere she could have "lost it" and have it not turn up in lost property.

Why are you blaming her?

That's not to say it was taken on purpose but the parents clearly haven't returned it. Had it been found she would have got it back as it's labelled.

Best for whoever picks up from school to go in to school as soon as you realise and look for the coat after school. We've had incidents in our school of lunch boxes being hidden and coats being pulled off pegs and thrown across the cloakroom/shoes being kicked across the cloakroom

how old is she?

Decent coat in a charity shop should only set you back £4-£5, so not too much to bear.

You didn't intend to spend more next time, did you?

I had this again and again with one of my 2, teachers always said someone must have borrowed it so by the time it was accepted it wasn't coming back it was too late to pursue. Eventually I rang the head , made the point that borrowing without permission was theft and he should reinforce that via assembly, staff attitudes, etc and told him I would be in his office every time something went missing with an expectation that he would help me look until we found it.

Oddly enough things improved (Head hated me though!)

oh gawd, someone shoot me, I see OP said age in title; I think I need to get off & do something useful instead!

I was about to post the same question, but DD is 12 (y7) and has Christmas money left over.

She hasn't lost anything all year, but last week lost her coat, with door key in pocket. Because we live in the grim north and she doesn't have a spare coat, I bought her one yesterday and told her she'd have to pay me back out of her Christmas money.

Now feeling very guilty because the only coat I could find was £32 which will clean out her savings. She's not complained and is happy to pay. And she likes the coat I picked out (miracle!).

Can I go in to secondary school as a parent and search lost property? I wouldn't even know where it was or where to start looking. She claims she's looked everywhere. There are just so many places it could be.

It's hard though. I feel guilty making her pay, but I don't want to let her think I can just replace everything straight away.

I think at 8 though, maybe a contribution towards it would be enough of a punishment.

Wh

Why would she need punishing?

How can u loose a coat in enclosed grounds?

It's not like a sweater or shirt that's identical to the others.

Yes, charity shop or e-bay. Ds3 (7) has a lovely leather jacket. He does not take it to school. He wears a beautiful thick, lined, next coat (£8 on eBay with postage) or a school coat (£4, 2nd hand from school) for school.