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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think these people are ignorant!

44 replies

Weelady77 · 16/01/2014 14:56

A little 3 year old boy has went missing from his house! He was last seen in bed at 9pm last night, his mum got up this morning and he's gone he's still not been foundHmm poor mother must be in bits,
I've seen comments on twitter and my friend told me about comments on fb about people slating the mum cause she didn't check on him during the night!!
I check on my kids before I go to bethen in the morning when I wake them but I don't set an alarm for 3am to check them!!
Rather than slate the poor woman they should be out helping the search party find him!
God I hope he's ok poor wee soul

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/01/2014 14:58

It's ridiculous, people revel in other peoples misery sometimes.

That poor woman, hope they find him.

Sirzy · 16/01/2014 14:58

I think to pass comment on any case like that is wrong. The poor mother will be questioning herself about the 'what ifs' I am sure.

I just hope the poor boy is found safe and well. It worries me that he hasn't been found yet people would notice a 3 year old wandering around so that makes me worry something has happened be it accident or deliberate :(

wonderingsoul · 16/01/2014 15:03

how stupied..
there have been cases before where people have the .. not so much right .. but reason to question things.. cant think of the right word but no.. not in the case.. not yet any way.

you dont put your child to bed then check on them numerouse times through the night just incase they could wander out/if theve been taken.

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 16/01/2014 15:08

Oh my this us horrendous. Poor parents, poor boy. Have they found him then?

Fleta · 16/01/2014 15:09

Self-preservation. They tell themselves it can't possibly happen to them because they DO check their children during the night.

ElizabethBathory · 16/01/2014 15:11

Fb and Twitter don't exactly bring out the best in humanity do they?

ApprenticeViper · 16/01/2014 15:12

Poor boy. I hope he's found safe and well.

You have to hope that nothing like this ever happens to the people on Facebook and Twitter who are slating his mum, and if it does, that they are beyond reproach.

wannaBe · 16/01/2014 15:17

there have been previous instances of child disappearances where I have said wtf.... but in this instance it would never have occurred to me that my child could have wandered off in the middle of the night. plus how often would they propose checking on a child to ensure he remains safely in his bed at all hours? ridiculous.

Original poster
Weelady77 · 16/01/2014 15:20

Iwan nope he's still not been found I can hear the helicopters still going over they have also got Coast and life guards out now as he's about10 mins walk away from the beach!

You would wait for facts to be released before you would ever judge, no one will be beating themselves up more than the poor mother,

Fb and twitter mothers seem to be the best ever!

OP posts:
Proudmummytodc2 · 16/01/2014 15:35

i dont think its right for anyone to be slating anyone no one knows what it would be like to be in that position unless you have been or are but i check on my kids when i put them to bed when i go up stairs for whatever reason shower toilet ect... before i go to bed and if me or dp up during the night we check them again we dont specifically get up through the night to check them unless baby crying or that i hoe hes found such a shame i know kids that have went out the house when parents bee sleeping found safe and well thankgod its just one of those circumstances no1 knows what they would have done and its not right to judge i hope hes found safe and well i live in glasgow and ive read through my facebook that people are out in glasgow checking incase he has been took and brought out theway and others are thinking of travelling to edinburgh to look so glad public are trying to help really hope hes found x

Boreoff456 · 16/01/2014 15:37

I check my kids during the night. The only reason is I have a shit bladder and have to get up at least once and just poke my head in, since the toilet is next to their room.
On the rare occasion I sleep through, they go unchecked. I can't imagine going out of my way to check them. What a set of bastards to say things like that.

Sky are now reporting that the police are processing and removing evidence from a nearby flat

Proudmummytodc2 · 16/01/2014 15:39

here is a link to live updates for anyone who wants to keep track

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mikaeel-kular-missing-live-updates-3027531

Dahlen · 16/01/2014 15:47

YANBU.

Victim-blaming is what people indulge in when they don't want to even entertain the idea that something so terrible could happen to them because it's random and no one's fault. Making the victim the architect of their own misfortune reassures them that as long as they don't do that everything will be ok (which it won't but that's not the point, the fear is suitably allayed by this point).

Victim blaming personally is a normal if misguided reaction. Publicly victim blaming is just nasty and deserves censure.

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 16/01/2014 15:49

This is awful. Worse nightmare. I hope he is found safe and very soon.

AuntieStella · 16/01/2014 15:58

YANBU.

This poor child was last seen at 9pm, and (if media reports are accurate) was gone by 7.15am, and nothing has been said about what happened when during those 10+ hours. Are parents meant to stay awake all night every night ffs?

But as he left without making enough noise to waken any of the others in the house, I'm clinging to the hope he wandered and will be found, or is with someone he knows and is not in immediate danger of physical harm.

ineedabodytransplant · 16/01/2014 16:03

How the hell does a three year old manage to get out of the house?

Bootycall · 16/01/2014 16:05

I think this post is ill advised at best and I am reporting it.

Biedronka · 16/01/2014 16:21

YANBU!
There's idiots everywhere OP, what cruel comments to make at the price of other people's despair :(

I'm off to check news now, I had no idea this happened as I'm not in the UK.
Hope he's soon found safe.

Boreoff456 · 16/01/2014 16:26

Can I ask why bootycall ? genuine question.

pictish · 16/01/2014 16:27

Have they still not found him then? Sad

Topaz25 · 16/01/2014 16:33

I saw that on Facebook too. I think it raised eyebrows that the report said he was last seen going to bed, which some people interpreted as he took himself to bed and wasn't tucked in as well as not checked on, which is unusual at that age. It could be a big misunderstanding with the phrasing though. I did think a few things about the report sounded strange but more information will come out in time and people shouldn't judge without knowing the facts. I hope he is found safe.

Original poster
Weelady77 · 16/01/2014 16:45

Sorry if I've offended you bootycall I just think some people are so cruel talking about the poor mother, I think finding the baby is more important just now rather than slating the mum Hmm

OP posts:
Bootycall · 16/01/2014 17:13

no not offended but there have been posts on here previously re the McCanns and other child disappearances and tragedys some of which were the result of criminality. some unknown.

you will get postes speculating in what has happened to this child and this could cause both upset to the parents and pehaps ill advised intrusion into their lives and speculation.

understand your feelings op but just think as this is the internet people need to he cautious and careful.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 16/01/2014 17:14

I don't think it's fair to make any assumptions at this stage. It's heartbreaking, I hope he is found soon.

Bootycall · 16/01/2014 17:15

ineedabodytranplant post demonstrates my point.

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