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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not wear my wedding ring...

34 replies

WaffilyVersatile · 14/01/2014 14:49

We got married last year (together for nearly 12 years) and neither of us have got used to wearing the rings - neither of us wear any other jewellery. I stopped wearing mine first (out of fear of losing it as I kept having to take it off for work) and then my OH asked me how I would feel if he stopped wearing his too because it still felt weird. I didn't mind at all so for around 5months the rings have lived on our bedside tables in their boxes.

I don't see the issue but several people have commented on how irregular it is and 1 even said that we may as well have not bothered getting married!!

Is it BU to believe that marriage is about more than jewellery or are we weird?

OP posts:
weirdthing · 14/01/2014 14:54

I never wear mine as I don't like the feeling of it - couldn't care less what anyone thinks about that. I know I'm married - that's what counts. DH wears his on the next finger up. We were both fatter when we got married so his is too loose on the correct finger and he has never got round to getting it resized.

PumpkinPie2013 · 14/01/2014 14:57

Totally up to you. I wear mine and don't take it off but dh doesn't wear his as he doesn't wear any jewellry plus teaches chemistry so too much risk of it neing ruined by chemicals or something getting under it and causing a burn (he teaches A-level)

TheVermiciousKnid · 14/01/2014 14:57

YANBU. You're both happy with it - what's the problem?

We didn't even bother getting rings. Still happily married though. :)

cuddlefish · 14/01/2014 15:00

DH has never worn and never intended to wear a wedding ring. I don't have a problem with it at all. He was going to borrow the best man's ring when we got married, but it turned out he'd borrowed his own best man's ring, so we shot into argos on the way and just got any old one. I never take my wedding and engagement rings off.

Onesleeptillwembley · 14/01/2014 15:12

'Why bother getting married'? What an idiot. So the whole sum of marriage to them is a piece of jewellery? Seriously, what a stupid person.
It's a ring. Wear it, don't wear it. What's important is your relationship.

MrsOakenshield · 14/01/2014 15:14

neither DH or I wear ours regularly - maybe if I'm going out and I'd be putting jewellry on anyway.

ToysRLuv · 14/01/2014 15:40

I don't wear mine. Got out of the habit while pregnant (ring didn't fit and was quite cheap to begin with, so not particularly precious in that way) and never wore it again. DH wears his and would like me to wear mine, but doesn't min very much that I don't. I don't wear any other jewellery either.

Justforlaughs · 14/01/2014 15:45

I don't wear mine - too fat, I honestly couldn't even tell you whether DH wears his or not. My DB lost his and both him and my DSil were really upset - bought a new one. Each to their own. If you're happy then what has it got to do with anyone else? "No point in getting married"! - idiot!

Fancyashandy · 14/01/2014 15:46

I stopped wearing mine a good few years ago and don't even think about it now TBH. Strangely Husband has started wearing one but didn't when we first got married.

TarkaTheOtter · 14/01/2014 15:48

I don't like sleeping in mine so take it off at bedtime and often forget to put it back on.

Mim78 · 14/01/2014 15:50

I often forget about mine altogether - in fact had not worn for ages now come to htink about it! Just never got in the habit. Dh is the same. I think we just don't really set much store by rings. Is fine imo.

KateMoose · 14/01/2014 15:51

I don't wear mine as I have become allergic to it. DH wears his. I know I am married.

squeakytoy · 14/01/2014 15:54

Been married 13 years and never worn mine. Don't even know where it is. My husband never wears his either.

Mouldypineapple · 14/01/2014 15:58

I haven't worn mine for a few months. Started as it became uncomfortable, makes my finger/hand achy. Stopped wearing it indoors and have now got out of the habit completely. Dh doesn't mind and he doesn't wear his either as he too finds it uncomfortable. I put it on for certain occasions but not often. I wear minimal other jewellery too. We're still married and happy.

SqutterNutBaush · 14/01/2014 15:58

DP and I got engaged on christmas day and I haven't worn that ring yet but I don't do jewellery either.

Although he did know this and said if or mums hadn't of badgered him he would've proposed with a Kindle Paperwhite :o

I will get round to wearing it but probably won't do the wedding ring.

ILoveAFullFridge · 14/01/2014 16:02

If it works for the pair of you, then that's all that matters. None of their business.

LadyVetinari · 14/01/2014 16:02

I only wear my original (gold) rings for special occasions, as they give me rashes. I recently got a set of silver stacking rings to wear on my marriage finger, which I very rarely removed before learning to drive. Now, the pressure from the steering wheel makes my skin peel where the rings dig in no, my skin doesn't understand its purpose as a barrier organ so I've been ringless for a fortnight now without noticing Blush.

DH generally wears his full-time, unless the parrot has pinched it without him noticing. I know it's sort-of hypocritical but I'd be upset if he chose not to wear his - I love what wedding rings represent, and wish I could wear mine every day.3e

schokolade · 14/01/2014 16:03

Of course it's fine to not wear your ring. It's what you and DH are happy with, what's it got to do with anyone else?

And laugh at your friend who asked why you got married then Grin

LadyVetinari · 14/01/2014 16:04

(Sorry, dog somehow hit "3e" and then Send...) I was going to finish by saying YANBU as long as you're both happy with the situation but, mainly due to sentimentality, I personally think it's a shame when rings don't work out.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 14/01/2014 16:06

YANBU. I've had the same shitty comments about why did I bother to get married when I haven't changed my name. Marriage is about more than a ring or a name change

Notaddictedtosugar · 14/01/2014 16:07

YANBU. DH has never had one. I've given up wearing mine. No one has ever commented. It couldn't matter less as long as you are both happy with it.

craftynclothy · 14/01/2014 16:23

I took mine off while pregnant with dd1 as it was feeling tight and I've never lost the weight it still doesn't fit. Dh took his off because it was irritating his knuckle. His is on his bedside table, I think mine are in a kitchen cupboard.

Can't say anyone's ever commented on it. Doesn't make any difference whether you wear a ring or not imo.

PenguinsDontEatKale · 14/01/2014 16:28

The only time it is dodgy not to wear a wedding ring is if doing so to pretend to be single!

How odd. I have a few friends who don't wear their rings (I do) and no one has commented that I know of.

FTRsGotAShinyNewNN · 14/01/2014 16:36

As a rule I do wear mine but if I take them of for any reason I frequently then for get to put them back on for days. Nobody has ever mentioned it to me though.
As a pp said, if not wearing it is to present yourself as single that's a problem, otherwise it's entirely up to yourselves

ZillionChocolate · 14/01/2014 16:53

Your marriage is a sham. So's mine as although I wear a ring I didn't change my name. Fuck 'em.