Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not engage in this argument

41 replies

deakymom · 14/12/2013 10:35

so my husband woke up with one on him he snapped at the kids then talked nicely to me for awhile then suddenly began having a go at my teen daughter via me basically im feeding the baby in the kitchen and one minute he is talking about cheese the next yelling at me about her reading the conversation basically went IS SHE GOING TO READ ALL DAY? i told him she had just started what was the problem SHE IS READING THAT BOOK IM NOT LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH THIS SHE CANT DO THIS do what? is she revising or reading SO YOUR TELLING ME ITS DIFFERENT IF ITS REVISION YOUR JUST GOING TO LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS ARE YOU? is she revising or reading a book? WELL ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET HER SIT THERE AND READ? is she revising or reading? SHE IS READING THAT BOOK (she has hundreds and we were in the other room) what would you prefer her to do? IM NOT HAVING HER DOING THIS SHE CANT GET AWAY WITH THIS do what? is she revising or reading? and what do you want her to do? WE TOLD HER SHE WAS ALLOWED ON AND A HALF HOURS READING A DAY YOU AGREED TO THAT AND NOW YOUR LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING revision is different she has exams in January is she revising or reading? is she using her revision book? what is she reading? (i should point out she was only reading for about ten minutes at this point) he still has a go at me same garbage she is "reading" so i get a bit ticked off and say you read all day and then go on your x-box all night till 2/3 am why cant she revise for her tests? you do nothing why cant she? THAT'S IT IM SELLING MY X-BOX IM GETTING RID OF IT do what you like dear but the fact is you spend all day reading and your not even taking exams why cant she revise? SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE DOING IT FOR ENTERTAINMENT is she really hurting? what would you prefer she did SO YOUR JUST GOING TO LET HER READ ARE YOU? look if she reads you have a go if she draws you have a go if she does sewing you go ballistic just what is it you expect her to do? he then deteriorated into incoherent rantings and stormed off upstairs he has so far stormed down three times and stormed off again im not interacting with him im not continuing this stupid argument its blasted pathetic uncalled for and unnecessary so im saying nothing every-time he storms down im doing nothing but facebooking my friends (about other things)so am i being unreasonable or is he acting like a (my daughter is 13 by the way i have a four year old and an 11 month old who listened to the lot)

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 14/12/2013 10:40

He sounds bonkers, what's wrong with her reading?? What does he think she should be doing, does he want her to do chores or something?

FruOla · 14/12/2013 10:42

Surely it's much better that she's reading - whether for revision or pleasure - than spending hours playing on some electronic device?

What else did he want DD to do? Or is she expected to do a few chores/help out?

But whatever, to stop a child from reading sounds completely daft.

Original poster
deakymom · 14/12/2013 10:45

exactly he wont tell me what he thinks she should be doing he just wants to stop her reading admittedly she shouldn't read ALL day but she had just got up! and the worst is he spends most the day reading while i do everything and my daughter helps me more than he does!

OP posts:
SofaKing · 14/12/2013 10:45

My first ever LTB. What the hell is wrong with a 13 year old reading ffs?

RandomMess · 14/12/2013 10:47
Confused

What exactly did he want her to do??????

Most people need/appreciate/value having a little time to themselves first thing in the morning at the weekends!

Iamsparklyknickers · 14/12/2013 10:48

Huh? What is she meant to be doing? Chores or something - well that's fine, she's got all day to do them he can kick off when they don't get done.

Tbh he sounds fucking unhinged and in need of a boot up his arse. Fucking child.

Please don't let your kids think he's behaving like a normal person.

thornrose · 14/12/2013 10:48

God if only my 14 yo would read. How bizarre that he is so het up about it!

NorksAreMessy · 14/12/2013 10:53

This is NOT how rational people behave

wallaby73 · 14/12/2013 10:55

Seriously?? He sounds like an utter nobend, what the hell is wrong with reading?? If she wanted to read all day, so be it...far better than xbox or gawping at the telly, what IS his problem? He's got control issues - send him outside, as you would a yapping dog! Give you all a rest from the incessant pointless barking.

Balistapus · 14/12/2013 10:57

He sounds like an arse.
He needs to have a very good reason to stop her reading, such as she's supposed to be doing something else - chores or something else she's promised to do. If not, you need to wait for him to be in a good mood and talk to him about his weird behaviour.

FruOla · 14/12/2013 10:57

And as long as she has done, or will do, her fair share of helping out - and interacting with her family at mealtimes - why on earth shouldn't she read all day?

As an only child who was a voracious reader, I'm sure my parents were absolutely delighted to see me curled up with a good book for hours on end.

Reading for pleasure can be educational too.

Balistapus · 14/12/2013 10:58

Oh, and in the meantime, treat him like the child that he is and continue to do your own things, FB etc.

paxtecum · 14/12/2013 10:59

How wonderful. A 13 year old who reads, draws and sews.

He's a knob.

Is he jealous of her?

sparklysilversequins · 14/12/2013 11:01

I'd engage alright and it would end with him out on his arse and his bags swiftly following him.

Are you saying your teenage dd is not allowed to read by her own choice or indeed engage in any other creative hobbies?

He sounds like a controlling abusive wanker. I bet your dd hates him doesn't she? I do and I have only read your OP about him.

Sianilaa · 14/12/2013 11:05

Why would she not be allowed to read? That's the weirdest thing I've ever read on here I think. He sounds totally unhinged.

Slutbucket · 14/12/2013 11:07

She sounds lovely he sounds horrible. Is he her step dad?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 14/12/2013 11:09

How did you get pregnant to this idiot?

He is unhinged - why are you with him?

All 3 of your children, & you, deserve better than living like this.

wallaby73 · 14/12/2013 11:41

My DD is the same age, i know she would be DISTRAUGHT if her dad behaved in that way.....how is she feeling? I really feel for you, is this "normal" to them?

gamerchick · 14/12/2013 11:45

Yeah your bloke sounds like a knob.

Your daughter sounds awesome.. pity she's having to put up with tantrums from an adult.

TantrumsStoleSantasBalloons · 14/12/2013 11:50

Yes I would engage in the argument.

I would tell him to pack up his shit and get the fuck out.

Who on earth goes on like this? "Are you going to let her get away with reading?"

Has he been sniffing glue? Because people do not actually behave like this.
Is your dd listening to this? Because its pretty fucking horrible tbh. He is making her feel like she cannot do anything right in her own home.

Sorry but I would really put an end to this argument now. I get that you don't want to engage with him but your dd can hear him shouting about whst she is doing wrong.

Whatisaweekend · 14/12/2013 11:51

Is this out of character for him? He sounds utterly deranged! If this is his normal standard of behaviour, I would be giving him his marching orders smartish. Any teenager keen to read voluntarily is a wonderful thing. Does he feel belittled by her seemingly more cerebral choices when his tiny pea brain only allows him to gawp at the Xbox until stupid o'clock in the morning?

TantrumsStoleSantasBalloons · 14/12/2013 11:51

And just out of curiousity, why is her reading time limited?

Why can she not just read?

Fleta · 14/12/2013 11:52

Erm I wouldn't see anything wrong with her reading all day if she wanted to!

He's a twat.

allmycats · 14/12/2013 11:52

Why do you live with such an abusive man ?

BalloonSlayer · 14/12/2013 11:56

She's your daughter, is she his also?

Poor DD