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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not engage in this argument

41 replies

deakymom · 14/12/2013 10:35

so my husband woke up with one on him he snapped at the kids then talked nicely to me for awhile then suddenly began having a go at my teen daughter via me basically im feeding the baby in the kitchen and one minute he is talking about cheese the next yelling at me about her reading the conversation basically went IS SHE GOING TO READ ALL DAY? i told him she had just started what was the problem SHE IS READING THAT BOOK IM NOT LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH THIS SHE CANT DO THIS do what? is she revising or reading SO YOUR TELLING ME ITS DIFFERENT IF ITS REVISION YOUR JUST GOING TO LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS ARE YOU? is she revising or reading a book? WELL ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET HER SIT THERE AND READ? is she revising or reading? SHE IS READING THAT BOOK (she has hundreds and we were in the other room) what would you prefer her to do? IM NOT HAVING HER DOING THIS SHE CANT GET AWAY WITH THIS do what? is she revising or reading? and what do you want her to do? WE TOLD HER SHE WAS ALLOWED ON AND A HALF HOURS READING A DAY YOU AGREED TO THAT AND NOW YOUR LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING revision is different she has exams in January is she revising or reading? is she using her revision book? what is she reading? (i should point out she was only reading for about ten minutes at this point) he still has a go at me same garbage she is "reading" so i get a bit ticked off and say you read all day and then go on your x-box all night till 2/3 am why cant she revise for her tests? you do nothing why cant she? THAT'S IT IM SELLING MY X-BOX IM GETTING RID OF IT do what you like dear but the fact is you spend all day reading and your not even taking exams why cant she revise? SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE DOING IT FOR ENTERTAINMENT is she really hurting? what would you prefer she did SO YOUR JUST GOING TO LET HER READ ARE YOU? look if she reads you have a go if she draws you have a go if she does sewing you go ballistic just what is it you expect her to do? he then deteriorated into incoherent rantings and stormed off upstairs he has so far stormed down three times and stormed off again im not interacting with him im not continuing this stupid argument its blasted pathetic uncalled for and unnecessary so im saying nothing every-time he storms down im doing nothing but facebooking my friends (about other things)so am i being unreasonable or is he acting like a (my daughter is 13 by the way i have a four year old and an 11 month old who listened to the lot)

OP posts:

Lilacroses · 14/12/2013 11:57

My god, he sounds deranged....he reminds me of the dad in Matilda!! I cannot understand why you would stay with someone like that, imposing that horrible treatment on your children and yourself.

Ladyhawke127 · 14/12/2013 11:57

Unless this is some wired first time offence, he'd be out on his ear! Sorry. Life too short to be dealing with an idiot like him. Dies he have any redeeming features? I couldn't be bothered with that nonsense. 'Are you just going to let her read?' 'Yup, now get out of my hair!' would be the answer to that!

GrumpyRedhead · 14/12/2013 12:00

I don't normally post lurker on threads like this, as I think one thread is only a snapshot and things are actually better than they come across.

However, this time, I'm with Tantrums all the way. He's being irrational, and your DD deserves to see you stick up for her.

Btw, I know this is a tangent, but from what you've said, she sounds like a lovely girl - a credit to you (DH maybe not so much)

AmberLeaf · 14/12/2013 12:03

Is he her step dad?

She shouldn't have a limit on reading time anyway [time to do chores etc permitted] reading is to be encouraged and applauded.

He sounds like a dickhead.

drudgetrudy · 14/12/2013 12:05

Poor girl! You are right not to keep the argument going but I hope she knows you are on her side and standing up for her. What a w*er!

Iamsparklyknickers · 14/12/2013 12:05

Ladyhawke I wish OP asked asked him as him as he huffed off if he was off to find a mirror to take a look at himself.

Honestly the more I think of it the more annoyed I get

AgentProvocateur · 14/12/2013 12:07

Why are you with him? He sounds like a complete wanker. Has he got any redeeming qualities?

Cleorapter · 14/12/2013 12:08

He doesn't want her reading? Wtf? He sounds completely deranged! Your poor kids!

DoJo · 14/12/2013 12:11

What? I just....? I don't even know where to start with this one!

Grennie · 14/12/2013 12:12

You can not just ignore him and his argument. Right now might not be the best time to tackle it. But your DD needs you to stand up for her and put her first. Your DP should not be talking to your DD in that way. You DP should not be trying to limit her reading. He is being abusive to her. This kind of treatment will affect her.

samandi · 14/12/2013 12:14

I presume he was drunk, because that's really weird behaviour. Your OP reads very oddly too.

samandi · 14/12/2013 12:15

Can he read himself?

Xmas2013MN4407 · 14/12/2013 12:16

why is her reading time limited?

why is he such an arse?

and no yanbu not entering into the argument, he is acting like a loon

StanleyLambchop · 14/12/2013 12:22

Reading- OMG (clutches pearls, then faints) You know what that might lead to- he needs to get her out vandalising bus shelters before she, you know, passes some exams and all that!

FFS-What is wrong with the man? Reading- I have heard it all now. Is he always so bloody awful???

Famzilla · 14/12/2013 12:51

Wtf. Since when did reading become a crime?

Jesus wept. At 14 I was smoking weed in the park with older boys. I bet my grandad would have chewed his own face off to get me to stay at home reading.

Your partner sounds incredibly unhinged. Is he frightened your daughter is going to end up outsmarting him and therefore bullying her into not doing something educational? Only asking as that's what my own mother used to do.

DoJo · 14/12/2013 13:17

I have to say, as a child my reading time was limited by my parents, but that was because otherwise I would literally do NOTHING else. I was banned from reading at the table (good manners) reading in the morning before school (would still be reading in pyjamas when it was time to leave), in the bathroom (could spend an hour 'brushing my teeth' with a book) and at other specific times. I also had my pleasurable reading time limited when I had homework and revision to do as it would prevent me from doing anything vaguely related to my school work. So, I can understand why there might be a need to curb a teen's reading in favour of actually getting something else done, I just don't understand why your husband is going on about this to you, and what the point is given that he's failing to offer a suggestion of what else she should be doing.

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