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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at cub 'leader'

131 replies

goodgrief54 · 07/12/2013 10:02

My son started at cubs in April and to say it is a shambles is an understatement. They do not do anything I would expect and instead play dodgeball for 90 percent of the time. They have started to work towards badges but then don't finish them, he hasn't had a single badge the whole time of being there.. we have not paid a penny either as despite repeatedly asking they are not organised enough to know how to sort this out. I know that the leader gives up time to be there but doesn't plan anything at all and spends the first ten minutes eating her dinner when she arrives. I thought you had to have some sort of training to be a cub leader and am surprised that this can even be called cubs. my son likes going as all his friends go but am I being unreasonable to complain and risk it being closed down all together??

OP posts:

CallMeNancy · 07/12/2013 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlbertHerbertHawkins · 07/12/2013 10:05

candycoatedwaterdrops · 07/12/2013 10:09

YABVU, your son is going there for FREE!

NotAnotherStuffedTurkey · 07/12/2013 10:09

You could complain if you are happy with the thought that the group may fold and many children will miss out on a fun and affordable activity.

Alternatively you could make enquiries about becoming a volunteer and either helping regularly, or with one off activities that are targeted towards a badge.

Helpyourself · 07/12/2013 10:09

Hahaha
Sounds lovely.
Unstructured, free, your son enjoys it.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 07/12/2013 10:09

If you don't like it find another group to send him to. Or give up your own time to help.

Unless you stay the entire session do you really know exactly what they do? I help at brownies and we usually finish with games so that might be the thing they tell their parents about, forgetting the things they've learned or made before then!

The money thing is more concerning because certainly in girl guiding each unit has to have its accounts signed off at a district level, I can't imagine it being different in Scouts.

CallMeNancy · 07/12/2013 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flipchart · 07/12/2013 10:15

This happened at my lads cubs.
However the woman was running it by herself, hold done a full time job, look after her on kids and was a single parent.

She kept asking for help and asked if he could have a rota of volunteers but only one parent came forward ( and I worked 3 Tuesdays out of 4)

So she couldn't do much. Parents would drop off and expect their kids to be entertained and get badges but gave nothing back.
Also it was embarrassing at parades because only about two parent would send their kids to it. Happy to take,not so happy to give.

If you are so bothered offer to help.

ILoveRacnoss · 07/12/2013 10:15

Maybe the badges have elements that they are supposed to complete at home? I used to do this sometimes when I was a Brownie Leader and my Scouting DS often has 'homework'.

Offering to help is by far the most constructive thing that you can do. Sounds like she needs support, not criticism. Perhaps you could do the accounts? Or offer to lead on a badge on a topic that interests you?

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 07/12/2013 10:15

She does sound a bit disorganised, but FFS, she's volunteering! If you can do it better, volunteer to help!

bellsringingoutforMadHairDay · 07/12/2013 10:16

I would chase the money thing, the subs need to be paid for insurance purposes among other things.

They do sound a disorganised group tbh, I am a scout group secretary and our groups do loads and loads of badges, ds is in cubs and since April probably has got about 10 badges plus camp and district extras. However some groups work this way and some much more relaxed, and if the cubs are happy then so be it. If you want a more organised group I would look elsewhere, but do remember they are volunteers. Yes leaders do undergo training from time to time and all the ones here are organised and the cubs do some great things. They have just done their diy badges and got to go to a workshop and use hacksaws etc, lots of happy cubs :)

I don't think you're being completely unreasonable if it is as you describe.

AgentProvocateur · 07/12/2013 10:19

If you think you could do better, why don't you volunteer to help? Carping parents are the bane of volunteers' lives.

OOAOML · 07/12/2013 10:26

The Beavers group my son goes to work towards badges but most of them are given at an 'awards ceremony'. They play dodgeball at the start - do you know for sure yours carry on doing it?

If he wants to stay at the group I agree the best thing would be for you and/or another concerned parent to volunteer. We have several people running ours, and it seems really well organised, but I don't see how one person on their own could do it.

itwillgetbettersoon · 07/12/2013 10:29

If you are keen on badges your son can do a lot at home. I help at cubs and find most parents drop their son off and run. Very little offers to help etc.

Regarding subs why don't you offer to do the accounts for the pack. Perhaps the leader really doesn't have time to do that as well. You could send out a letter to parents asking for subs and simply pay it into pack accounts.

lljkk · 07/12/2013 10:34

Given it's free & he enjoys it, YABU. Why don't you join & get them up to standard?

MaryPoppinPills · 07/12/2013 10:41

im am ex assistant cub leader now a scout leader and from what youve put I can totally see where your coming from as our cub group was like that and no matter how hard I tried to make things better the leader was just lazy and in the end made out I was stepping on her toes.
my advice is to speak to the gsl about your concerns in regards to the programme they should at least be working toward a badge a term.
do pm me if you want

pigletmania · 07/12/2013 10:46

Yabvu your ds enjoys it, that's enough IMHO, and it's free too. Why don you volunteer there, and turn it around

SeaDevilscanPlay · 07/12/2013 10:51

Do you help your DS work towards his badges. DS is in Scouts now but during beavers/cubs he had to work towards them independently of the group.

SeaDevilscanPlay · 07/12/2013 10:51

And most of DS's cub time was spent playing dodgeball/Mr Men game/ Captins Coming. He still loved it!

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 07/12/2013 10:52

It's not 'free' though, is it? They'll get round to asking for subs eventually. I'm with the OP. I know the leader is a volunteer, but she's not coping by the sound of it. She should be planning every minute, just like a teacher plans lessons. Plans, gathering/making resources. More importantly, she should have help to do this, and support from the organisation above if she's not coping.

ilovesooty · 07/12/2013 10:59

So the poor leader is expected to plan to teaching standards without reward? I'd be saying fuck that. If the OP isn't happy things are being run properly she can pull her son out, complain about the free child care she's getting or offer some constructive help and support.

worriedabout · 07/12/2013 11:02

I would never berate anyone who gave up their free time to entertain other people's children without being paid. It is really hard work at the best of times and soul destroying at the worst (particularly when you want people to volunteer and no-one comes forward).

My advice is if you feel strongly get involved otherwise don't moan.

Groovee · 07/12/2013 11:06

Why don't YOU volunteer and organise the programme to the programme that is offered for cubs instead of complaining!

flipchart · 07/12/2013 11:07

The subs pay for insurance and hall hire. The leader doesn't get anything.

She is already giving up one evening a week every term time week + leader meetings.

Instead of complaining offer support.

Your son is in her care for 1/12 to 2 hours and it costs you very little, not even your time. Do something positive if you are not happy.

WooWooOwl · 07/12/2013 11:08

You can't complain unless you also volunteer.

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