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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at cub 'leader'

131 replies

goodgrief54 · 07/12/2013 10:02

My son started at cubs in April and to say it is a shambles is an understatement. They do not do anything I would expect and instead play dodgeball for 90 percent of the time. They have started to work towards badges but then don't finish them, he hasn't had a single badge the whole time of being there.. we have not paid a penny either as despite repeatedly asking they are not organised enough to know how to sort this out. I know that the leader gives up time to be there but doesn't plan anything at all and spends the first ten minutes eating her dinner when she arrives. I thought you had to have some sort of training to be a cub leader and am surprised that this can even be called cubs. my son likes going as all his friends go but am I being unreasonable to complain and risk it being closed down all together??

OP posts:
Waltons · 07/12/2013 16:02

I HATE FUCKING DODGEBALL.
+1

Maryz · 07/12/2013 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fecklessdizzy · 07/12/2013 16:04

One more thing. Yup, YABVU.

ChoudeBruxelles · 07/12/2013 16:05

I'm a beaver leader and really hate parents who endlessly complain (fortunately while I've been doing it there have only been couple).

Get off your arse and offer to help.

feelingfuckingfestiveok · 07/12/2013 16:11

No Maryz that is not what I have said.

After having some differing opinions and positive advice from others inc volunteers its just not nice of helpful to come wading in a be so nasty.

I have not said I am not happy with what my son is doing. He is doing some great stuff, been away a few times etc but has no bagdes.

I'm frustrated as I am willing to help and volunteer I just cant do it when they need it to be done So I am going to apporach them again re admin side. I have thought of a fundraising activity I can easily do from home for the group too.

So before you have a go please read posts I have offered to help. I have also stated I I would like a rota so busy workig parents or ones with young families can plan ahead so they can indeed to there bit. But obviously I cant just 'do this' though I will suggest it.

Im not the OP BTW

davidjrmum · 07/12/2013 16:20

The sort of excuses parents gave for arriving late to pick up their dd's was, "sorry, took ages to get my toddler out of the door", or the traffic was busy. I had zero sympathy, just thought - why didn't you start getting ready/set off earlier then so I can get home. Must admit that I'm not convinced by many excuses re why people can't help at the pack that their child attends. In my experience people are either happy to volunteer or they are not - it has very little do do with how busy they are (some of the busiest people I know still find time to volunteer) or what age their kids are. Most people I know who say they are too busy to volunteer because they have a toddler don't suddenly getting involved when their child is older.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 07/12/2013 16:23

If you have an activity your child is doing you have three choices:-

  1. Accept it as it is as your child is enjoying it. (In a country with severe childhood obesity spending 2 hours a week seems pretty great to me. Plus part of the value of cub / brownies is getting to know kids who are not in your child's class but may well turn up at secondary.
  2. Volunteer to help turn it into what you want it to be
  3. Take your child out.

The only exception is the poster who spoke of what sounded to me like racial discrimination. This needs reporting to the district commissioner.

MoominMammasHandbag · 07/12/2013 16:25

Can I just say, my DH is a leader at a youth activity. It's a great club, very organised and child focused, they do something exciting and interesting every week, loads outings, badge work, sport and crafts. Apart from the club itself he spends time planning, finding resources and attending training. All the parents agree it's a great club and the kids love going.

And this Christmas, while loads of parents are angsting about what to buy professional, well paid teachers as a thank you for doing a good job, my lovely volunteering DH has received a thank you gift from one child out of about 25. It is such a thankless task.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 07/12/2013 16:31

Moomin That's a really good thought. Will get a gift for dd's gym coach and ballet teacher.

AChristmassyJerseySpud · 07/12/2013 16:44

Offer to do more to help. The leader is giving up their free time to do this for you.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 07/12/2013 16:44

Standards are set or conduct by organisations not time commitment, that is just done by unreasonable parents.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 07/12/2013 16:45

Standards for conduct

Maryz · 07/12/2013 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 07/12/2013 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feelingfuckingfestiveok · 07/12/2013 16:54

Maryz with respect I did clarify to the organisations standards not to my own.

saulaboutme · 07/12/2013 17:17

My ds went for afew months but the group was disorganized!!

The last straw was when they were supposed to attend a memorial service and canceled without telling us. Too many disappointments.
I would mention it, what's the point in going if it's just for a game of dodgeball.

feelingfuckingfestiveok · 07/12/2013 17:19

There are three groups in our immediate area two a very well run but the other doesnt have a great reputation

Fecklessdizzy · 07/12/2013 17:19

Um ... She did say her son really likes it, pleasure doesn't count?

Tinpin · 07/12/2013 17:21

I ran a Brownie pack whilst I had three children under 4. Sometimes they had to come with me to meetings as DH worked evenings or I drove them 10 miles to my mum or I organised other child care . I ran several Pack holidays whilst pregnant. There are many, many guiders like me. If you want to do something you can get round it.I love my Guiding and the girls. I realise we are all different but most people can help with a bit of effort.

Chivetalking · 07/12/2013 17:24

Sounds like you know exactly how it should be done, OP.

Why don't you do it?

Waltons · 07/12/2013 17:29

Maryz has mentioned my bugbear: the lack of appreciation. I have whinged posted about it before on MN.

Teachers who are paid for what they do getting £££ of presents while a Scout leader might be lucky to get a Christmas card from one child.

We could run the best Cub pack in the universe and still not hear the words "thank you" more than a couple of times a year.

Scout/Guide parents, please take note. A home-made Christmas card will be treasured forever. Even a shop bought card signed by a child means a lot.

And Wine is always popular too

Maryz · 07/12/2013 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 07/12/2013 17:36

The organisation standards do not match yours though OP, they are reasonable about putting in whatever time commitment you can manage, you do not appreciate that though.

Waltons · 07/12/2013 17:44

Maryz, I would PM you but I don't think I can?

My lot only want to play one specific game when I ask what they want to do. They've been told that they get to play it twice a term, and that's it.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 07/12/2013 17:47

Sorry not directed at OP as you did not say that.

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