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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not see the funny side to this email?

34 replies

ThereWasOnceAGirl · 21/11/2013 19:30

Or have I just no sense of humour?

I've been off work since Monday, came in today and going through the emails I missed and there was one from the new guy on the first day I wasn't in work saying -

I really missed you today. I find you really attractive.

I was slightly taken aback, hes a nice guy and I've been helping to train him and he's been sending me the odd email - such as how are you? etc so not of the ordinary to have an email from him but I don't fancy him in the slightest.

I just emailed back along the lines of thank you, very nice of you etc.

He then came up to me and apologised as he hadn't sent it and a guy "Ben" who sits next to him sent it when he was helping him with a problem and he hadn't realised. Almost certain he wasn't lying.

I asked Ben why he sent it and the reply I got was - "shits and giggles"

Aibu to think this wasn't funny and could have made me look like a complete fool and could have been quite humilated, because the email doesn't come across as an obvious joke.

OP posts:
ICameOnTheJitney · 21/11/2013 19:31

I think you should not have responded as you did. You should have c&p your manager and complained.

As it is, report "Ben" for what he did.

TheDoctrineOfWho · 21/11/2013 19:31

YANBU, of course this is ridiculous behaviour.

StickEmUpSideways · 21/11/2013 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Panzee · 21/11/2013 19:33

This happened to me once.

At school. :o

Not appropriate for grown ups.

Original poster
ThereWasOnceAGirl · 21/11/2013 19:36

I would have found it funny if it was an obvious joke email like -

You are looking mighty fine you hot thing Wink

Haha .... but I just felt that email could have been real, not that I'm attractive but it just seemed serious.

OP posts:
NachoAddict · 21/11/2013 19:37

How mature. I wouldn't engage with them any more they clearly still have a lot of growing up to do.

DameDeepRedBetty · 21/11/2013 19:38

Inappropriate. Ben is skating on very very thin ice. If you did take it to HR he could end up in deep shit.

NewtRipley · 21/11/2013 19:43

I would let them know that if anything like that happens again you'll be forwarding to their manager/HR

PrincessKitKat · 21/11/2013 19:48

'Ben' is less a comedian, more a first rate cockwomble. IMHO.

EBearhug · 21/11/2013 19:51

That would be potentially disciplinary behaviour at our place (for Ben). There are very strong rules about not using other people's accounts.

Having said that, a former colleague (A) once sent a mail from someone else's account (B), because B went away from his PC and left it unlocked. He mailed the division manager, saying he was resigning. The manager had a good sense of humour, and mailed them both back to say, "I know it's not B who sent this, but A, so therefore I must accept A's resignation." A had a bit of a panic about this, and went to see the manager to make sure it wasn't real after all. A got reassured it wasn't going to happen, but it was breaking the rules to send mails from other people's accounts, plus if it had been taken seriously, or B had reacted differently, it could have lead to all sorts of disciplinary stuff, so while everyone could laugh at it this time, and it was being let go, if it happened again, he'd get the book thrown at him.

B and the rest of us were reminded to lock our screens whenever we left our desks.

EirikurNoromaour · 21/11/2013 19:52

This is sexual harassment and contrary to every organisation's use of IT policy.

mistermakersgloopyglue · 21/11/2013 19:57

'Ben' sounds like an immature tool. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

NigellaLaw5on · 21/11/2013 19:59

princesskat what the hell is a cockwomble, ben sound like a dungcaster.

MarianneEnjolras · 21/11/2013 20:03

This kind of thing happens all the time where I work. Including to and from senior management. It's a standard "punishment" for leaving your workstation unlocked which you are not allowed to do.

I prefer the alternative version which involves turning the computer screen upside down (ctrl+>) so when the person comes back to their desk they have to figure out how to put it back.

BadgersRetreat · 21/11/2013 20:04

I used to work somewhere that you had to lock your PC every.single.time you left your desk or this sort of thing would happen.

It used to drive me up the fucking wall - was like being in school. "Management" thought it was funny when they were actually in the office and not down the pub

mollypup · 21/11/2013 20:07

Sexual harassment? Lighten up!

Original poster
ThereWasOnceAGirl · 21/11/2013 20:10

Including to and from senior management. It's a standard "punishment" for leaving your workstation unlocked which you are not allowed to do.

It does happen at our work, but things like sent from a guys computer - I'm a pretty little girl etc.

I can honestly take a joke. But if I'd like the guy and been like I find you really attractive too, I could have potentially made a complete fool out of myself.

OP posts:
maddening · 21/11/2013 21:32

Ben thinks he is hilarious, witty and original - Ben is a tedious prick :-)

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 21/11/2013 22:02

This happens in my office but is usually just "offering" to get the drinks in for every in or something equally harmless.

If it was so-and-so fancies you it would be more obviously a wind up.

It's immature and email abuse which could put Ben in for a disciplinary

sandfrog · 21/11/2013 23:36

ctrl+>

Just tried that but it didn't turn the screen upside down, it just made everything bigger!

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 21/11/2013 23:45

I used to work in a bank and we had to lock our station everytime we left it aswell. One area manager, if he noticed you hadnt locked it would do a transaction on your til for a random amount into one of the foreign accounts or something and the. He'd fuck off to his next visit saying nothing, we'd balance up and find an under/over. Spend ages looking for it, find nothing and then we'd have to ring him only for him to say "we you'll be locking your station the next time i'm there wont you?" HmmInfuriating, and i'm pretty sure not allowed but nobody would ever take it any further.

monicalewinski · 21/11/2013 23:53

We get this all the time at my work. It is tiresome.

It was mildly funny all those years ago when we first got email facilities (and I was a lot younger!), but it bores the tits off me now. (In fact, it actually gives me the rage tbh).

YANBU!!

oscarwilde · 22/11/2013 00:18

I used to work somewhere where the standard practise was to invite the whole department for drinks. Until someone didn't see the funny side and complained to HR. Both he and the colleague who sent the mail lost their bonuses that year. Abuse of IT policy and leaving screen unlocked. No-one ever did it again.

Harassment is pretty strong but that's actually what it is. Ben is pathetic

MamaMumra · 22/11/2013 00:22

Grin nigella.

Anyone that says 'shits and giggles' is little bit of a bit of a dungcaster AND cockwobbler.

extracrunchy · 22/11/2013 00:25

Not funny - Ben looks like a fool more than anyone else. V unprofessional!