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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not send my son to school in pyjamas?

82 replies

Throughthelongnight · 14/11/2013 13:19

My son came home yesterday and said that they had been told to wear pyjamas to school on Friday, but he wasn't sure why.

He is not at all happy about this and has asked not to go in on that day.

I suspect it is for Children in need. I talked with him yesterday, and am sure it is due to his nocturnal enuresis, that he would feel uncomfortable in nightwear, although he hasn't said as much.

I have suggested buying new pyjamas, as his current ones are getting a little small, or borrowing his brothers (much coverted) angry bird ones. I have also suggested wearing jogging trousers and a tshirt instead, but he is adamant that he doesn't want to go.

He loves school, so I am sure this is not just a ploy to get out of going, and he was very upset.

So aibu to just keep him at home, and should I tell them why, or just invent a sore throat?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 14/11/2013 13:21

how old is he?

has he not got jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt that you can say are pyjamas

I think he will end up feeling left out on the day if all his friends take part and he is the odd one out

kinkyfuckery · 14/11/2013 13:22

If he doesn't want to wear PJs, then let him wear something else. I wouldn't keep him off for no reason though.

loopylouu · 14/11/2013 13:22

It's for children in need and it's optional.

My ds would rather die than go in in pyjamas, his school does it every year and he's never joined in (his school is non uniform though, so it's not like not wearing the unifor is a treat).

Mabelface · 14/11/2013 13:22

Does he think that he'll have to go to sleep in school and risk wetting? Kids can worry about the strangest things.

littlewhitebag · 14/11/2013 13:22

Could he just wear his pyjama top with normal trousers? I am sure they won't turn him away if he just goes in normal clothes. Or he could 'forget' and go in his uniform. There are always kids who forget on non uniform days.

PersonalClown · 14/11/2013 13:23

Surely he can go in uniform?
My Ds' school are doing the same thing but have stated that any child may go in wearing uniform if they wish to.
It's a special needs school so they understand that some children need/want the routine.
Toad looked at me like I had 2 heads and told me that Pyjamas are for bed, uniform is for school!

BrandybuckCurdlesnoot · 14/11/2013 13:23

Or send him in normal non uniform. He probably won't be the only one. I wouldn't keep him off. Our school are having a PJ/Onesie day for Children in Need to. Mine are going in thick zip up onesies but I know some are going in normal clothes because they don't want to wear PJs plus onesies for little girls needing the toilet would be a nightmare.

notagiraffe · 14/11/2013 13:23

Would he be prepared to go in a onesie? That's what lots of children at DCs primary did. Looked very cute and was less embarrassing than their real PJs.

EdithWeston · 14/11/2013 13:24

I think he needs to go to school.

He can arrive in uniform (or whatever he usually wears if no uniform), and take a bag with T-shirt/joggers and pyjamas so he can change if he wants to when he sees what others are wearing.

LadyVetinari · 14/11/2013 13:25

Jeans/joggers, t-shirt, and a dressing gown that he can discard because he's "too warm" as soon a he gets into the classroom?

Quenelle · 14/11/2013 13:25

A girl in DS's class doesn't want to go in pyjamas either. So her mum is sending her in uniform with some spare clothes in case she feels left out and changes her mind.

It's for charity so completely voluntary. He can still pay the £1 or whatever it is so nobody should have a problem with it.

RevengeWiggle · 14/11/2013 13:25

I would send him in uniform but put some pyjamas in his bag incase he feels left out once he gets there

MadamNoo · 14/11/2013 13:25

we have pyjama day tomorrow too. my middle son hates and detests all dressing up days, he is dyspraxic (not sure if that is relevant but I think it's connected) and hates any kind of attention or standing out - uniform is his friend. I have said he can go to school in uniform, I won't have any more stress and unhappiness about something that's supposed to be fun. there will always be some kids who forget so he won't be the odd one out.
unnecessary to keep him home I think, but he doesn't have to join in (and you can still give teh £1 for charity if you like)

monicalewinski · 14/11/2013 13:27

I hate the pyjama days too, ok when they were nursery age but a bit daft when they're older.

Maybe he could be persuaded by new pyjamas (angry birds?), but if a definite 'no' then I probably wouldn't force it tbh.

ShatnersBassoon · 14/11/2013 13:27

It's optional. If he doesn't want to, no problem. Lots of children won't want to, lots will forget. It's definitely not a reason to keep him home.

Slavetominidictator · 14/11/2013 13:28

The school I teach in has about three of four non uniform days a year where kids pay a pound to come without uniform. In the past, pyjamas were suggested instead, after complaints about competitive dressing so perhaps that's the reason. I think it's children in need this week so that may be why...
Honestly, the kids are so hyper and can't settle to work properly that I don't think your son would miss much if he didn't go in, except he will miss out on the social side. I would be a bit worried about setting a precedent but that depends on how frequently the school has them. I thought your idea about his brother's pyjamas was a a very good one. Honestly, one day off won't harm him, but don't tell the school why - attendance officers often aren't entirely discreet or understanding, although of course there will be exceptions. Good luck deciding.

justmatureenough2bdad · 14/11/2013 13:28

send him in his uniform and a note saying he doesn't wear pyjamas and it would not be appropriate to send him in naked...

PissesGlitter · 14/11/2013 13:28

He does not need to wear the pj's
Send him to school
It's a silly reason not too

gamerchick · 14/11/2013 13:28

He doesn't have to wear PJ'S there's no way mine would leave the house like that.. I always send him in his uniform but still take the quid in for the pot.

Original poster

Throughthelongnight · 14/11/2013 13:29

Thanks for your replies. He is 11, I suggested a onesie, but he didn't like that idea.

I guess I agree that he should go, but this is really out of character, and I just can't get to the bottom of why he feels so uncomfortable with the idea.

OP posts:

Slavetominidictator · 14/11/2013 13:31

I was assuming secondary school, for some reason, apologies if primary - am sure it's different. In secondary, turning up in uniform on non uniform days is social suicide, I'm afraid, hence my suggesting a discreet day at home.....

MrsCosmopilite · 14/11/2013 13:32

I may be underestimating your son but he does know it means PJ's OVER underwear, and not just PJ's doesn't he?

I quite often shove underwear on even if slobbing around in PJs at home, as I don't feel that comfortable walking around 'undressed'.

ShatnersBassoon · 14/11/2013 13:32

Why not call the school and ask for some clarification? Ask if sportswear would be a suitable alternative.

farrowandbawl · 14/11/2013 13:34

DS is like this.

He want's to wear his uniform instead. He's never got involved with anything like this and neither have I - it's just one of thsoe things we just don't do.

fuzzpig · 14/11/2013 13:35

Aw bless him :( my DD didn't want to do a pj day (also children in need!) when she was younger - I think in her case maybe it was because she was so insistent that jammies are for nighttime and anything else was just plain WRONG!

Maybe he'd feel a bit more 'exposed' in pjs? It's different to being more clothed in lots of school uniform layers.

I would just say to him to wear what he wants, and maybe suggest he takes some nice (you could still get new ones as he needs them anyway) pjs in his bag just in case he gets left out and changes his mind when he gets there?

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