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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send my son to school in pyjamas?

82 replies

Throughthelongnight · 14/11/2013 13:19

My son came home yesterday and said that they had been told to wear pyjamas to school on Friday, but he wasn't sure why.

He is not at all happy about this and has asked not to go in on that day.

I suspect it is for Children in need. I talked with him yesterday, and am sure it is due to his nocturnal enuresis, that he would feel uncomfortable in nightwear, although he hasn't said as much.

I have suggested buying new pyjamas, as his current ones are getting a little small, or borrowing his brothers (much coverted) angry bird ones. I have also suggested wearing jogging trousers and a tshirt instead, but he is adamant that he doesn't want to go.

He loves school, so I am sure this is not just a ploy to get out of going, and he was very upset.

So aibu to just keep him at home, and should I tell them why, or just invent a sore throat?

OP posts:
MrsLambada · 14/11/2013 14:13

It does seem bonkers to do PJs in the winter. Sad

MrsLambada · 14/11/2013 14:14

Ewwwww no, the onsie arms in the toilets........

alwaysneedaholiday · 14/11/2013 14:20

Ugh yuck, hadn't considered that complication!

Chopstheduck · 14/11/2013 14:27

oh god yes, onesie arms! not a good idea. I have to be careful at home with 3 boys who occasionally miss the target, I dread to think what the boys loos at school are like.

Joysmum · 14/11/2013 14:29

Not every child will be in pjs. If he wants to be in uniform then let him wear uniform and pack pjs in his school bag in case he changes his mind whilst there and the biggest hang up was getting to school in pjs.

Tbh I find it strange you'd even think about keeping him off and then lying to the school about why. Avoidance of issues and not trusting in the school to even discuss his worries is not sending your son a great message.

CiderwithBuda · 14/11/2013 15:02

No way my DS would have gone in pjs at 11. Jogging bottoms and a tshirt and hoodie should be fine.

It's spotty day at DS's school tomorrow. He is 12 and far too cool to wear anything spotty. I bought him a couple of children in need wristbands and he can wear jeans and a top.

lljkk · 14/11/2013 15:24

Er, phone the school and ask!? Ours is raising money for typhoon Haiyan relief, hence the short notice. Mufti is fine, too.

englishteacher78 · 14/11/2013 15:31

The teacher fundraising pack from Children In Need this year suggested a pyjama day as a change from the normal non-uniform day - they have also released special pudsey onsies.
There are always students who forget non-uniform day at ours. They get a bit of ribbing in the morning and then everyone just carries on as normal. Go in in uniform.

swampytiggaa · 14/11/2013 17:26

Ours have PJ day tomorrow. Mine will be wearing normal clothes or uniform. Too bloody cold imo.

rabbitlady · 14/11/2013 17:36

it is children in need. we all got emails from them telling us to get the children into school in their nightclothes. ridiculous. how can I bring up modest young people with that kind of thing going on?
if they have to wear nightclothes, put them on over their uniform.

Original poster
Throughthelongnight · 14/11/2013 18:13

I have spoken to ds and it would appear that he feels wearing uniform or mufti will just draw attention to him.

I explained that I and most of mn thought he should just bite the bullet and face the fear, but he was in tears, so I caved and said we will have a pj day at home, and do some revision (sats year).

This is clearly not going to harm his education, and as I mentioned before his self esteem and confidence is fragile at the moment ( as is mine tbh) so I feel that it is the right decision and he will feel listened to and respected.

OP posts:
JohnnyBarthes · 14/11/2013 18:26

modest young people, rabbit ? Confused

OP, you know your son so I'm not going to disagree with your decision, but had this been mine (no enuresis, granted) he'd have gone in mufti with his dressing gown over the top.

Hulababy · 14/11/2013 18:32

"how can I bring up modest young people with that kind of thing going on?"

Really???? Just really???

But anyway - op:

No to day off school.
Yes to normal clothes that could be PJs - joggers, t shirt, etc
Yes to normal uniform

His decision then, but def has to go in.

garlictrivia · 14/11/2013 18:41

There was a Mumsnetter who sent her DC in uniform with pyjamas over the top. Sounds sensible to me.

I wouldn't go outdoors in pyjamas! It's 6° during the day here!

cardibach · 14/11/2013 18:47

I promise you there is nothing immodest about my pjs, rabbit! Not sure what your worry is, tbh Hmm
Joggers, t-shirt and dressing gown will be fine (and warm). I am a bit concerned about people going on about the cold all over MN tonight! As a further aside, we have non-uniform day with pjs and onesies explicitly forbidden!

gorionine · 14/11/2013 18:48

If it was one of my DSs, I would send them to school in uniform with pyjamas/jogging bottoms-T-shirt in a bag if they wish to change when they see their friends are in nightwear. I would not invent sickness though, very bad idea IMHO.

itscockyfoxagain · 14/11/2013 18:49

DD will be wearing her PJs over her clothes tomorrow. She isn't happy about it though and has declared it weird. She is 3 nearly 4.

Original poster
Throughthelongnight · 14/11/2013 19:06

Thank you for all your replies, the decision has been made as I posted earlier.

I am not going to invent an illness, but email the school to say that ds feels too uncomfortable to join in and equally uncomfortable to not.

I will add that we plan to spend sometime revising for sats and if they want to put it down as unauthorised absence, so be it.

OP posts:
gorionine · 14/11/2013 19:17

Fair enough, much better to be upfront! Wishing you both a nice day tomorrow!Smile

Original poster
Throughthelongnight · 14/11/2013 19:30

Just thinking about the possibility of a fine? Plan to contact Daily Fail - Mother Fined For Keeping DS home to Practice SATS rather than bounce on bouncy castle in PJ!!!!! Or something more succinct as this will obviously make the front page

OP posts:
gorionine · 14/11/2013 19:43

Nah, won't work,! Read any DM comments lately? People will only point out "that" face you are pulling for the pictures and blame all the world's misery on you pandering to your child! Better not!Grin
Not sure about the fine though, what does it say on unauthorised absence in your school policy? I would imagine they cannot actually fine you unless it is very clear in the school policy.

SunshineMMum · 14/11/2013 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Throughthelongnight · 14/11/2013 20:47

Gorionine would it be better if I wear my glasses and smile? Nothing too confrontational?

OP posts:
wangle99 · 14/11/2013 21:42

DS (10) is the same here, he is going in full school uniform not PJs. He did make me laugh because he said I'll still donate my money but i'm not wearing pjs!

gorionine · 15/11/2013 06:36

Yes, I think it might be better! You need to also make sure the value of your house is mentioned in the article as well as whether you are receiving any kind of benefit at all! Depending on both, you might swing opinions!