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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nearly 12 year old trick or treating alone at night?

88 replies

Howsuper · 30/10/2013 10:10

Sorry I know there are other similar threads at the mo but I really want opinions please - AIBU to let my son (12 in December) trick or treat with two friends from 6pm - 8pm?

He goes out on his own a fair amount and we are very relaxed about it - he is sensible, mature and has a phone.

The bit that's slightly bothering me is him walking home alone after leaving his friends - a 5/10 min walk. Urban area.

Whattya think?

OP posts:
Thesouthernwindisblowing · 30/10/2013 10:16

Yabu. I hate trick or treaters. Two hours of annoying other people by asking for stuff.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 30/10/2013 10:19

In my opinion 12 is too old to be trick or treating.

I didn't let mine do it when they were that age.

SavoyCabbage · 30/10/2013 10:22

I think he is too old, rather than too young.

CostaRicaToucan · 30/10/2013 10:24

Too young with a walk home on his own in the dark afterwards.

Also hate Trick or Treating and hope mine don't notice this year

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 30/10/2013 10:25

12 is too old to be trick or treating imo, especially if they are a few of them, I find it quite intimidating having older kids that I don't know showing up on my doorstep.

thebody · 30/10/2013 10:26

3 near teenage boys knocking on doors could frighten and annoy older people. it would annoy me as they are much too old to be doing this really.

I would say no.

happy2bhomely · 30/10/2013 10:26

I think trick or treating should be for primary aged children, supervised by an adult. Knocking only at doors with a clear impression that trick or treaters are welcome (pumpkin, decorations etc)

Never knock at doors with no lights on, or knock more than once.

I have a 13 yr old and he will not be joining us.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 30/10/2013 10:26

My son is doing it and he's 13 but I think he's too old tbh. Plus he's tall! How do you stop them do you ground them?

Much nicer when it's cute little ones with their smiley faces and lanterns.

RoxanneReidsChafingFishnets · 30/10/2013 10:27

I thought trick or treating stopped once you got to high school. Well it did when I was younger. I have had 15 year olds at my door and told them to get lost. They didn't even make an effort!

Original poster
Howsuper · 30/10/2013 10:27

Oh ok - I didn't even think of them being too old.

They are a nice bunch of kids and not rowdy etc, but I know what you mean.

Some people hate trick or treaters and older/non cute trick or treaters are even more annoying I guess.

OP posts:
FreakinScaryCaaw · 30/10/2013 10:28

I'm going to try to talk bribe ds2 into not doing it.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/10/2013 10:29

I agree he's too old....my DS is just 11 and I have told him he is too old....plus I would not let him be walking the streets on his own.

happy2bhomely · 30/10/2013 10:38

Freakin What do you mean? No, DS isn't grounded, but he isn't allowed out after dark anyway. I told DS1 that he would not be joining us the year he went up to secondary. He is now in charge of handing out the sweets to the little ones when they knock at our house.

The boys who are out unsupervised around our way are armed with flour and eggs and basically run riot.

As soon as they want to just wear a scream mask and mumble trick or treat, then it's game over!

GhostsInSnow · 30/10/2013 10:44

I tend to answer the door until around 7pm, after that all the little ones are in at home and it tends to be the older ones. 12 is a bit old I agree and at that age mine were at home helping me make pumpkins and decorate for the little ones who visit.
DD is 16 and dresses up to answer the door to the small ones, she loves halloween and we still found ways to enjoy it, just not door knocking.

sydlexic · 30/10/2013 10:44

We have DC of all ages, if they want to take part and dress up. DD is 27 and still does it. Households that want to participate put a pumpkin outside, those that don't don't.

I would let him do it if he wants to, invite the boys back to yours and then drop the others home, if that is possible.

HowlingTrap · 30/10/2013 10:50

I think 12's borderline last time I ever went I was 14 Grin

we got like 5 things and decided we were too old, lol

we were never rude or anything but teens are tarred with the same brush.

Erm, see I grew up in a small rural suburb and I walk home alone, but an urban area is possibly more risky?.

HowlingTrap · 30/10/2013 10:53

tbh as long as they dress up,not rude, I don't mind

I'm a halloween liberal Grin

Original poster
Howsuper · 30/10/2013 10:53

Thanks Howling - I don't know what's more risky really, walking home in busy, well-lit urban area but with small chance of mugging etc OR walking in nice, safe rural area but not having many people around and it being darker?

And yes we trick or treated as teenagers! But totally get why it would piss some people off.

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 30/10/2013 10:56

I am taking my 12 year old but he looks like 8.

I am not really comfortable with it so this will be his last year.

specialsubject · 30/10/2013 10:58

time to hang up the Halloween begging bowl at 12. This game is for little kids in ghost costumes, supervised by grownups. And only at places where there are clear signs that the owners want to play.

AnyFuckerGotBunnywhacked · 30/10/2013 10:59

No I would be dubious of letting my ds go round with friends he is 10 not really because of the saftey aspect but because I would imagine group of lads plus dark with no supervision and with the anonymity offered by a mask is going to turn out with them getting a bit daft.
We are not doing trick or treat this year as we have just moved and not sure about how things are done round here. We have some sweets in and netflix has a good supply of Shrek halloween and goosebumps to watch will pop up some candles and they can get dressed up if they want and hand out treats. Weathers supposed to be dreadful round our area anyway

FreakinScaryCaaw · 30/10/2013 10:59

Happy2b it's dark really early now though and your 13 year old stays in? I meant how do you stop a teenager from going trick or treating that's all. I don't know many who would stay in tbh.

I always give sweets to all ages. Money too until it all goes. Dp and I will be at a halloween party (adult one) so won't be here to hand out sweets but am hoping ds2 will just do it with his friend? I've bought a pumpkin to carve so will put that in the window.

In our village lots of teens do go out trick or treating that's why ds2 still wants to do it.

SybilRamkin · 30/10/2013 11:55

12 isn't too old at all, as long as your DS and his friends are well-mannered.

Could you meet them at an agreed point to walk your DS home at 8?

happy2bhomely · 30/10/2013 12:00

Yeah, he does. We live in London and I just don't think it would be safe for him to be knocking about in the dark. He's allowed to go the shop in the dark, but that's it really.

He doesn't socialise with friends during the week really. Maybe just an hour after school each day, but then he's home for homework, chores, dinner, a bit of tv, and then it's time for bed. He meets with friends at the weekend, but is always home in time for dinner. So I don't really have the issue of grounding him.

He would rather go to the shop and buy some sweets than walk around in the dark knocking on doors asking for them. He has mentioned hosting a party, but maybe next year!

HighBrows · 30/10/2013 12:21

This is the first year I don't have to go trick or treating thank fuck.

I'm bring the girls out for dinner they are 12 and 13. I'm very happy Halloween is over for us! Halloween Smile