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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to be called 'Mummy'

48 replies

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 26/10/2013 18:27

by MIL?
I've asked her not to. I've politely reminded her that I have a name.

"Baby is very smiley, isn't she, Mummy?"

We have names! We are not Mummy, Daddy and Baby!

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 26/10/2013 18:28

Not owrth getting worked up over. It will change as your baby grows!

edam · 26/10/2013 18:32

Very irritating and patronising but I think it's one of those battles that you aren't going to win. And she will stop, eventually - you can only really use that form when they are babies, older children would think she's barking.

So my advice would be to let it wash over you.

zipzap · 26/10/2013 18:36

Just don't reply when she uses it to address you - and if she calls you on it just express surprise as you assumed she was talking to her mother and that it was a strange habit that she was obviously going a bit doolally...

Look on one bright side - at least she's not calling herself mummy to your baby. That one annoyed me and a heck of a lot of other people here on MN!

LindyHemming · 26/10/2013 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 26/10/2013 18:39

I now have 2 DDs called 'baby'!
DD1 is 2.9. My head will explode she's still doing it in 9 years!

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 26/10/2013 18:42

YANBU, it would drive me crazy, I might have to kill her.

I can't even stand people referring to 'Baby', it's 'The' Baby or use it's bloody name.

shrieklesoda · 26/10/2013 18:44

my MIL calls my kids 'it'. Confused As in 'how's it getting on at school?'. Thing is, she is the most devoted, loving granny, she is not some toxic dragon, but for some reason in her world children are 'it'. It gives me the rage.

kangarooshoes · 26/10/2013 18:45

Calling herself "mummy" is worse, happened to me, too. (Grrrrrrr)

I think you'll have bigger battles than this!

Original poster
StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 26/10/2013 18:48

I think it's the fact that the 'Mummy'/'Baby' thing forms part of a constant running commentary too.
"Look Mummy, Baby has a book!" etc I KNOW! I JUST GAVE IT TO HER!

OP posts:
Original poster
StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 26/10/2013 18:48

And breathe.

OP posts:
stella69x · 26/10/2013 18:50

I had to ask people to call me mummy in front of my DS when he was first leaning to talk as he would try to say my name rather than mum/ ms/ mummy, I figured this was because he always heard me being called by my name so he was copying as that's what babies do.

Raddy · 26/10/2013 18:55

Ooh no, how annoying. Tell her to stop with immediate effect.

I am also irritated by friends who call themselves mummy when speaking to their kids 'give it to mummy'. What's wrong with 'me'?

Boardingblues · 26/10/2013 18:57

Barf! YANBU

DoJo · 26/10/2013 19:05

I didn't want my son to call me mummy, but he still does!

NotYoMomma · 26/10/2013 19:06

pick. your. battles

LindyHemming · 26/10/2013 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody · 26/10/2013 19:30

ah cut her some slack. could he worse she could be calling herself mummy like another poster said her mil kept doing.

we call ourselves mummy and daddy still with our kids, youngest 14!! ha ha.

seriously though we ARE mummy and daddy to the cat.

when my older son was 15 and had friends round I did famously say to the cat, ' whose a wet Pussey then come and cuddle mummy' cue sniggers.

make a joke of it to mil. chill out.

Herisson · 26/10/2013 19:30

MIL calls me, her mother (dead for the past five years), my mother and herself Mum. It DOES MY FUCKING HEAD IN and half the time I have no idea who she is talking about. As I call my own mother by her name, it is even more unreasonable. And DD calls me by my name at least half the time so she gets confused as well. DD is seven, btw, so definitely able to realise that people have names as well as family positions.

SouthBySouthWest · 26/10/2013 19:32

My MIL has spent the first year of both my DCs life calling them 'The Baby'. It gives me serious rage.

She has, and will have, no other grandchildren. Why not use their bloody names? They are not hard to pronounce or remember. WTF.

thebody · 26/10/2013 19:33

Euphemia, slip night nurse in her tea before travel ( mil obviously) she will be out for the count.

Herisson · 26/10/2013 19:35

She says things like 'I was just thinking about that meal at yours when Mum and Mum came over and we had sausages and mash. DD, wasn't that fun, didn't Mum cook lovely sausages?'

Seriously. It is like talking to a mad person. She is otherwise fully compos mentis and not in any way having a senior moment.

HearMyRoar · 26/10/2013 19:55

My mum did this a couple of times until I pointed out that my own mother calling me mummy implied an unlikely use of a time machine and a relationship with my grandfather that was frankly just wrong on so many levels. She hasn't done it since :o

CrohnicallyTired · 26/10/2013 20:29

I don't see anything wrong with using 'mummy' when you're talking to the child (eg 'take that to mummy'). Like a pp said, using proper names can confuse the child. After all, if the child is the only person who's allowed to say 'mummy' then how are they going to learn the word 'mummy' and who it applies to?

For that reason I call myself mummy to DD who is only just 1 because she doesn't reliably call me mummy yet, when she does I'll use the proper pronouns. I also refer to her both by pronoun and by name so she links the 2 (when we're playing I might say something like 'it's your turn now, DD's turn')

However, I do find it odd when people talk to me rather than DD and call me mum/mummy. The hospital are worst for this, at DD's outpatient appointments it's a stream of 'lay her down, mum, now hold her here, mum, I'll be back in a minute, mum'. I know they do it because they a) don't have my name on record as it's DD's appointment not mine, and b) they don't like to assume our surnames are the same. However, I work in a school and if I can't remember a child's mum's name I would just say 'Is it Mrs Childsurname?'

Mojavewonderer · 27/10/2013 06:43

I really don't see what all the fuss is about. It's never bothered me. I know I am a mum and I don't care who refers to me as mum.

harticus · 27/10/2013 06:46

Yeah don't get the fuss either. My Nan called me "Baby" till the day she died - I was 39 then.