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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed at someone for ruining daughters present

51 replies

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:04

So we've spent £228 to take our daughter to one direction concert in June and was going to give her the tickets as a Christmas present. I kindly offered to take her friend with us (and even paid £40 towards her ticket) as I knew her mum could barely afford one ticket so I said I would be chaperone, basically so that she wouldn't have to pay for herself to go also.

We are going with a friend of mine and her daughter as well who also had present planned as Christmas gift.

Next day at school the daughter has told both girls that they are going to one direction but not to say anything as its a christmas present! Wtf! Firstly, why tell your daughter and secondly why pretend that child 'guessed!'.

OP posts:
cuppachai · 03/10/2013 22:07

That would give me serious rage.

foslady · 03/10/2013 22:07

YANBU to be pissed about this but 1D, that bu!!!

BrokenSunglasses · 03/10/2013 22:10

Presumably you did tell the mother that you wanted to keep it a surprise?

Original poster
mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:10

My oh said not to take the other child and to re sell the ticket. But they are only 9 years old, which at the end of the day is the parents fault for telling her. There is no way a 9 year old can keep that to themselves!

OP posts:
Original poster
mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:11

Yes she knew exactly what the situation was as she said she'll give it to her daughter at christmas also rather than on her birthday (next weekend).

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 03/10/2013 22:11

How old are they?

A Christmas present they have to wait til June for??

LeoTheLateBloomer · 03/10/2013 22:12

Did you specifically tell the other mother to keep it quiet?

MirandaGoshawk · 03/10/2013 22:12

How could you ever hope to keep a Wand Erection ticket a secret? I wouldn't worry about it, the present is being taken to the concert, isn't it?

LeoTheLateBloomer · 03/10/2013 22:12

Sorry, x-post

Original poster
mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:13

Unfortunately I couldn't get one direction to bring their tour dates forward.

OP posts:
cartoad · 03/10/2013 22:13

I would be upset and I would be telling my friend that I am upset that her dd has ruined what should have been your special surprise to the two girls. And it's not just the taking that's the thing - it is nice to tell someone when you give them a surprise like this that is going to happen in the future.

I assume that as the dd knew it was a christmas present she knew it was going to be a surprise until then at least and that the other girls weren't going to be told about it right then. She knew it was a nice thing to do - to be the one that breaks the news - and she stole that bit for herself. Rotten.

Would be tempted to say to the mum that I'm not sure that I want to go with them any more - although maybe more difficult if you are all sitting together!

Donkeyok · 03/10/2013 22:14

I don't think I would take her now, I would probably get bitter and twisted about it. WTF were those parents thinking, how could a young child be expected to keep that a secret. You need to have strong words.
Plus you've probably got to stump up for another small present that is unexpected. Your daughter has the advantage of having longer to enjoy and anticipate going to see them so probably isn't as disappointed as you. I suppose the bigger thing to do is stay calm but not help out with those parents again.

pumpingprincess · 03/10/2013 22:15

TBH I never think keeping this kind of thing secret ever works.

Too many people involved.

Original poster
mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:15

miranda its the suprise of it though, my daughter ran around the house screaming with joy when she received the tickets last year.

OP posts:
MrsBungle · 03/10/2013 22:15

Aw, don't not take the wee girl now. It's not her fault. You've every right to be pissed off but I wouldn't dream of leaving the friend out.
I suppose your daughter has longer to be excited. I'm trying to find a positive!

JaquelineHyde · 03/10/2013 22:15

Did you tell them specifically not to tell their DD?

I agree you cannot withdraw the ticket, that would be unbearably cruel to the other 9yr old girl.

HeySoulSister · 03/10/2013 22:17

Well the new X factor boyband will have taken over and everyone will have dropped one direction by June! I'd sell ALL the tickets and give her a proper Xmas present. And she's seen them already?

Original poster
mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:19

Last year my friend and I kept it perfectly secret for months! Her daughter actually cried she was so thrilled to have tickets.

cartoad I think your right, this is why I posted on here to get a difference of opinion and what you said definitely makes sense.

I assume that as the dd knew it was a christmas present she knew it was going to be a surprise until then at least and that the other girls weren't going to be told about it right then. She knew it was a nice thing to do - to be the one that breaks the news - and she stole that bit for herself. Rotten.

OP posts:
rocketeer · 03/10/2013 22:20

Soulsister speaks sense!

Hulababy · 03/10/2013 22:21

I'd be annoyed too. I wouldn't leave the girl out now though, but I can understand why you're cross about it.

Of course it's easy to keep a secret like this! And of course a 9y is capable of receiving a gift of tickets for Christmas and waiting til June for the actual concert.

It's because of some parents who can't keep secrets why dd's primary school stopped telling parents where the annual whole school mystery trip was to. Some parents couldn't help themselves and told their children, who then informed their friends - meaning no longer a mystery! The fact that it was a mystery was half the excitement at least! So, school stopped telling us. Just had a text once they'd left telling us where they were heading.

HeySoulSister · 03/10/2013 22:22

Where was it to hula?

Aniseeda · 03/10/2013 22:24

Oh what a shame. I'd be furious with the mum but I'd still take the child and try not to feel annoyed with her. It's too much to expect a nine year old to keep that quiet for two months but the mum should have kept her mouth zipped.

FrightRider · 03/10/2013 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:25

I do have an exceptionally mature 9 year old and waiting a few months would not bother her.

Im pissed because OH told me not to spend so much money and now it feels a bit 'told you so'. We've already booked to take both DDs on holiday for christmas and new year, hence we wanted an easy present.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 03/10/2013 22:25

Changes every year. Been to various places - forbidden corner, Chester zoo, wildlife park, seaside for fish and chips and ice cream... DD no longer there as of this year, no mystery trips in her secondary. Can't remember which year is was when secret was out, think the zoo??