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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed at someone for ruining daughters present

51 replies

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:04

So we've spent £228 to take our daughter to one direction concert in June and was going to give her the tickets as a Christmas present. I kindly offered to take her friend with us (and even paid £40 towards her ticket) as I knew her mum could barely afford one ticket so I said I would be chaperone, basically so that she wouldn't have to pay for herself to go also.

We are going with a friend of mine and her daughter as well who also had present planned as Christmas gift.

Next day at school the daughter has told both girls that they are going to one direction but not to say anything as its a christmas present! Wtf! Firstly, why tell your daughter and secondly why pretend that child 'guessed!'.

OP posts:

FrightRider · 03/10/2013 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hermioneweasley · 03/10/2013 22:26

I woukdn't be cross with the 9 year of for telling, I think Cartoad is applying a very grown up lense and kids don't think like that. But the other parents were idiots for telling the 9 year old. If you made it clear it was a surprise then i don't blame you for being cross.

I would still take the friend though.

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:27

My daughter has a sensible head on her shoulders and just because of the way some girls get over them I would not deny her that opportunity.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 03/10/2013 22:27

Dd has Take That tickets for Christmas one year, concert was in June. She's had Jessie J tickets for ages. Concert should have been March but it was postponed - now later this month. Granted dd is older now, but TT she was 9 (or 8)

CoffeeTea103 · 03/10/2013 22:28

It would be totally ridiculous to not invite the child. It wasn't her fault. Why punish the child for the parents doing.

Annunziata · 03/10/2013 22:29

I think you were being over-optimistic to think that they wouldn't find out until Christmas. They are still going, you can still plan their outfits and you will still get to be with them on the night. It's not a big deal, there's no point getting upset.

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:29

The friend is a lovely child hence I didnt hesitate to offer to be her chaperone or to pay £40 towards her ticket.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 03/10/2013 22:29

Has not had.

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:29

The friend is a lovely child hence I didnt hesitate to offer to be her chaperone or to pay £40 towards her ticket.

OP posts:

Aniseeda · 03/10/2013 22:31

Actually, this has reminded me of the time I told my sister what I was giving her for Christmas - I was around 9 or 10 I think - it was only some daft little thing that mum and I had been out and chosen for her from the market but I just couldn't help myself, yet was still upset when she blabbed to my mum about my blabbing and I got into trouble for it

It's not the girl's fault. I hope the mum is mortified.

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:33

And obviously I wouldn't not take her. The mother tried to cover it up by sending her in to school the day after and child said, "im not allowed to go now because I ruined your Christmas presents." After I had told the mum to claim that none of us could front that sort of money.

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Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:35

The problem is I would write the mum off, but I am going to a 30 seconds to mars concert with her in November. Admittedly I have the tickets as I fronted the money, but thats not the point. And im pregnant so probably doesnt help with my emotions at the moment!

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Annunziata · 03/10/2013 22:36

OP you sound very precious, there is no need to be so wound up over a) a concert and b) children being children. They like telling people secrets, and they don't like being in trouble so they try to cover it up. Just look forward to the concert.

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:40

Not precious at all honey, just pressured by other friend and DP to have a few chosen words with her. Im past being angry but it doesn't stop me being disappointed especially when im doing her a favour!

OP posts:

mumofthemonsters808 · 03/10/2013 22:47

Try not to be too angry, sometimes surprise presents just don't work out. I sat by the computer last Saturday with the phone in my hand ready to buy my DD 1D tickets, when suddenly she appeared insisting she needed the computer to do her homework. I could not think of any argument that justified her not doing her homework so I just told her what I was doing. She actually came in handy and manned the phone. For the next 10 minutes she monitored every move I made and was thrilled when I eventually got tickets. She knows they are for xmas and buzzed of this for several days.

You are a lovely Mum taking someone with you, it will be double fun for your DD,for us it's just me and DD. She is already insisting I do not dance or sing, which unless there is a bar there I can assure her I won't be doing.

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:55

We're in block 141 row 16 if your near us?! I probably would have had a drink or two (yes just one or two, for any judgmental types reading) just to get through the concert as im more of a rock music type myself but being pregnant makes that a no no ;)

I would have been ok if dd had found out the way yours did but I didnt even get to be the one to tell her.

OP posts:

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 03/10/2013 22:56

And by the way mumofthemonsters there is a bar ;)

OP posts:

pixiepotter · 03/10/2013 23:43

So who has paid for the mum and daughter's tickets.The way I read it they have paid you for them so I don't get the posters saying 'don't take her'
and just because you have chosen to keep it secret from your dd, you cannot dictate that others do the same.

SeaSickSal · 04/10/2013 00:14

Selling the little girls ticket and not taking her would be a horrible thing to do.

Her mother shouldn't have told her, but when she did it was a foregone conclusion she would tell, no 9 year old could keep that a secret for 3 months.

Don't get revenge by punishing this little girl. It's not her fault it's her mother's and it would only hurt the little girl to do that, not the mother.

At the end of the day your daughter will still be delighted to be going, and you can get her a pack of One Direction goodies and maybe some paint to make a sign on Christmas day?

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 05/10/2013 10:19

When we bought the tickets everyone agreed that they were for christmas and that it would be a great surprise.
I can dictate to the other mother especially when I have paid £40 towards her daughters ticket, and offered to take her daughter with me because the mum couldn't afford two tickets to take her herself.

OP posts:

cartoad · 05/10/2013 21:46

Having read this again, which girl is it that spoiled the surprise? Your dd's friend who you are chaperoning or the dd of your friend who will have her mother at the concert too?

I assumed it was the latter but it looks like others think it was the friend of your dd...

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 05/10/2013 22:02

I bought a trip for my 6 YO to watch Barcelona FC play and he had to wait 5 months for the trip and was fine so I am sure a 9 YO would understand!

I would be so pissed off, I cannot understand why the parent would have told her at all as there is no way a 9 YO could keep that a secret all that time. I am not sure there is anything you can do really but I would have to say something to the mum.

pixiepotter · 05/10/2013 22:54

I am confused by that too cartoad OP can you clarify which mother/daughter it was that spoiled the surprise?
You wrote
'We are going with a friend of mine and her daughter as well who also had present planned as Christmas gift.
Next day at school the daughter has told both girls that they are going to one direction'

ItsDecisionTime · 06/10/2013 01:34

I've done exactly the same for my DD and her friend and I know they're going to be really excited. I know, as the mum of a teenager that it's the best present they could ever wish for. Unfortunately, the tickets aren't being produced until closer to the day next June so you may need to get creative and make up a pretend ticket for their Xmas surprise.

Original poster

mumof2aimingfor4 · 06/10/2013 13:24

It is the child that I am chaperoning that spoilt the surprise.
Last year I did a laminated letter saying, dear ..... two tickets have been reserved especially for you and your mum to see one direction at the o2 on (cant remember date).

OP posts:

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