to be upset at boring birthday presents

[waybuloony]

Ok, it's not my birthday for a few days but I've just seen a despatch order in my dh's email inbox (I have access to this with his permission) for some Ladies welly boot socks and a black umbrella which I'm guessing are meant for my birthday and I'm more than a little bit mortified. Arent these the sort of pressies you give an old aunt for xmas and not your dearly beloved?

We've been together 11 years, have had a few up's and down's lately and are feeling the pinch a bit right now but I feel really upset. AIBU?

Should I say anything?

Blimy I don't blame you. Those sound very dull and bring ad I would not be pleased if I recieved those

Do you wear wellies often?

I give DP a list.

Otherwise he buys me weird shit.

No I rarely wear wellies. Plus I already have a pair...

Its my birthday today! From DH I got a tree for the garden . I did once receive a frying pan from him though so now he gets told a specific item and life is much easier.

Lets hope he jazzes the pressie up for you with some flowers.

I buy weird shit and tell him to wrap it.

He's expecting rain then? Do think he'll be taking you away to Scotland or Ireland to a posh hotel?

I give DP a list. Saves the hassle!

I go shopping with DP, then no one is upset. Is he usually quite good and thoughtful with gifts?

Happy Birthday liquidstate! Now a tree is a lovely present, beautifully symbolic and very romantic in a non-schmaltzy way. Must drop hints for next year!

My dh works in a v creative job which is why I'm bemused by the mundanity of these (suspected) gifts :-(

I got a pillow, a lemon squeezer and a spatula one year. That never happened again

I'd be hoping he jazzes them up with diamonds, never mind flowers.

I think this year you just have to be appreciative and say thank you, and next year give him a list.

this is why i tell dh what i would like. this year im getting bookcases (i know, very boring! )and i cant wait

Weirdly daftdame I think that's partly what has upset me. They're rainy day items (literally) that will hardly be used. A frying pan (which there's no denying is also a crapola present) is at least something that will get daily if not weekly use!!

Well, at least you're forewarned, you won't be caught by surprise.

You can burst into tears when you open them while asking 'Don't you love me anymore?' or burst out laughing 'Very funny, where's my real present?' Do something to shock him out of his crap present buying habit.

And then buy him a stapler for Christmas!

I hope he had been to the shops or travel agent for a nice surprise.

Does he usually get you more creative/thoughtful presents OP?

Actually I think you'd be unreasonable to make him feel bd about it. I don't get why you would - maybe he genuinely thinks he's getting you something good.

I dont' get the "make him feel really bad"

How mean

Actually I think you'd be unreasonable to make him feel bd about it. I don't get why you would - maybe he genuinely thinks he's getting you something good.

I dont' get the "make him feel really bad"

How mean

Tell him what to buy you. It is the only way.

I got a kitchen knife one birthday from my husband, and a frying pan for xmas. apparently i had spent a lot of time saying 'argh, i wish i had a knife that could cut' and 'the nonstick is completely worn off this pan'... we had a laugh about what constitutes a good present. usually i don't get anything as my birthday is a week before Christmas during the month we don't get paid and I've spent every bean we had on the kids gifts. you get used to it :)

oh, and bad gift sense must be hereditary as his dad once gave his mum a huge package wrapped beautifully on her birthday. she opened it excitedly and then burst into tears... it was a Hoover. not a dyson either... this was many years before designer vacuums. he genuinely couldn't see why she was hurt.

Well, the positive side is:
he has not forgotten your birthday and is actually planning ahead.

So, maybe you can plan a nice dinner in or out for that day and try to both have a lovely time.

Next year, give him some very strong hints or more straightforward just a list.

I've given up and just tell DH what I want. We are both much happier with this arrangement. The pressure is off him and I get something I actually want. I actually choose something more expensive than I would otherwise expect because I feel the non-choosing allows me that!

DH now gets me flowers on his way home that day and a card and I'm happy with that!!

him and me have long stopped surprise birthday presents because....well, it all seems a bit daft really. We go for a meal out on or near the day. If we need something for the house or each other we talk about it and treat ourselves as budget allows.

saves an awful lot of angst.

however I am always grateful for a present, especially a useful one.