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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset at boring birthday presents

98 replies

waybuloony · 11/09/2013 13:40

Ok, it's not my birthday for a few days but I've just seen a despatch order in my dh's email inbox (I have access to this with his permission) for some Ladies welly boot socks and a black umbrella which I'm guessing are meant for my birthday and I'm more than a little bit mortified. Arent these the sort of pressies you give an old aunt for xmas and not your dearly beloved?

We've been together 11 years, have had a few up's and down's lately and are feeling the pinch a bit right now but I feel really upset. AIBU?

Should I say anything?

OP posts:

Lioninthesun · 11/09/2013 22:02

Maybe do an Amazon wishlist? I have one but sadly no one to buy me anything. I get something for myself from it once or twice a year instead. Handy to have a list of lovely things you really want when/if people ask!

Bowlersarm · 11/09/2013 22:03

That may be just a selection of your presents OP.

Maybe he bought the diamonds in the shop......

josiejay · 11/09/2013 22:03

I remember a thread on here where someone got an electric blanket from their DP - I think she LTB.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 11/09/2013 22:05

I'd love an electric blanket as a present!!

LAK11 · 11/09/2013 22:11

It was my 50th earlier this year. All I wanted was a pair of real Raybans. Simple, I thought....I got a mini iPad, bought bought by the company, which I did not want and I never get to use as hubbie is always using the fucker......

BlackholesAndRevelations · 11/09/2013 22:11

Are you sure they're for you? Has he got an elderly aunt/mother who likes walking in the rain?

ilikemysleep · 11/09/2013 22:27

You know, at least he has had a think of what you would like / need. I was really hurt by my presents from DH this year - flowers, choclates and champagne. All very expensive, but all 'generic' presents that told me he had not put an ounce of thought into it at all. Then to make matters worse it was our wedding anniversary a week later (ok, at least he remembered it) and he got me...flowers, chocolates and champagne. Albeit slightly different flowers, chocolates and champagne.

I would MUCH MUCH rather have a present that someone has considered carefully and not got quite right rather than one that has had no thought put into it at all...he got me a steering wheel lock and ice scraper once years ago, I was quite happy with that, I needed them and he had thought about what I needed.

I would not dream of bursting into tears or complaining, but I might give him more guideance for Christmas. I just feel a bit sad that I have to ask him to think about what I might like...

Blueandwhitelover · 11/09/2013 22:42

dh once gave me a heart rate monitor for my birthday

ToysRLuv · 11/09/2013 22:48

I forgot my own wedding anniversary this year and the last. Realised it was DH's birthday on the morning of the day. Baked him a carrot cake and made a card with DS DS drew a quick half-hearted squiggle on it and ran off Nearly forgot my own birthday, but DH reminded me a few days ago. God. we are so boring and unromantic.

CSIJanner · 12/09/2013 03:21

Could he have another surprise attached? Rain coat & wellies = holiday weekend away in a place where it always rains?

Rabbiting0n · 12/09/2013 03:53

YANBU.

Birthdays are always a disappointment.

A few years back DH bought me a pregnancy diary and a weaning book for vegetarian babies. I wasn't pregnant and he said he didn't want to try for a baby either

I like a PP's suggestion that he is taking you somewhere traditionally wet, like Scotland. Or maybe he is buying you a dog?

lovesherdogstoomuch · 12/09/2013 04:59

i got a six pack of Walkers crisps once.

GreetingsFrontBottom · 12/09/2013 05:07

I get a box of Jewels chocolates every year without fail from my DH.

nokidshere · 12/09/2013 07:23

Even though he quite good at present shopping I send DH links to stuff I like all year round so that if he can't think of anything himself I at least get something I want :)

AaDB · 12/09/2013 09:23

Ilikemysleep, I hear you. Same here, champagne, flowers and the same chocs.

He does get the most thoughtful homemade present. Just that would be fine.

treas · 12/09/2013 09:34

YABU - many a time on MN you see threads from posters who have received nothing for their Birthday or Christmas.

MattZelst · 12/09/2013 10:02

You're getting a present aren't you? DOn't nose around his stuff, because you don't know if he's got you something else

PoisonedApple · 12/09/2013 10:15

My husband sent his Mum out to buy me a bottle of (the wrong) perfume on the morning of my birthday and his sister out to buy a Colin the caterpillar cake.

elQuintoConyo · 12/09/2013 10:50

I still haven't got anything for my DH's birthday. He was 40 - at the beginning of July!
He didn't/doesn't know what he wants. And now Christmas is the next present... I'm fucked.
We're financially up shit creak, so what present money we have goes on DS.

I am laughing at pp's suggestions of 'perhaps he's going to whisk you away to rainy Ireland... perhaps he's bought diamonds, too' etc! Like we've all got £500 to spend on a birthday
Fwiw in 15 years, DH has never surprised me with/treated me to a Bridget Jones-style mini-break, and vice versa. I guess everyone's idea of romance is different.

ThisIsYourSong · 12/09/2013 11:15

DH got me a ten pack of those melty hot choc things this year for Mothers Day I think. I loved it a lot more than the iMac he got for my birthday. I'm not being ungrateful but it just felt more personal. Just like I'd love choc and champagne as we'd drink/eat them together. But personal rather than practical gifts are what I like, no matter cost. It's just a matter of letting your DH know that, and knowing he'll still get it wrong sometimes.

NMM · 12/09/2013 17:46

DH bought me a Henry the Hoover mug last year. I subsequently found out he'd bought it on special offer from Amazon. There was vision and no sound that day I can tell you.

ZillionChocolate · 12/09/2013 18:49

Is there something wrong buying presents on special offer from amazon?

Triathlonwannabe · 12/09/2013 19:39

I just think most men lack the present buying gene and genuinely can't see the problem. The worse one ever from dh was a sample wooly hat with his company's logo on...I said thank you, lovely, on the day and 3 days later burst into tears. Since then, dd has taken charge, gets a list from me and organises him. It is the only way...

Yika · 12/09/2013 19:52

I am in stitches laughing at this thread (sorry OP but at least it must make you feel less alone in the crap present department).

Nothing wrong with buying a present on special offer on amazon if it's something thoughtful that the recipient is going to like. Somehow I doubt a Henry the Hoover mug was on NMM's wish list (I may be wrong).

ithaka · 12/09/2013 19:57

My DH has just bought we waterproof trousers for my birthday - I am delighted!

In my/his defence, we do hillwalk together & he did really well to find teeny waterproof trews, as I am titchy. Plus, yeah, I am a saddo..

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