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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you actually say when DH asks 'what do you do all day?'

67 replies

PoisonedApple · 10/09/2013 23:25

Have a 3.5 year old, 1.5 dogs and an 8 week old baby and he seems genuinely confused as to my daily activities (as he chomps his way through the totally miraculous home made fish pie...)

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 10/09/2013 23:27

I would tell him that you consult divorce lawyers.

I also think you should explain about the half a dog!

sonlypuppyfat · 10/09/2013 23:28

Tell him the telly doesn't watch itself

Fairylea · 10/09/2013 23:28

Dh never asks me that question. Ever.

He might ask me how my day went. But that's not the same thing at all!

Aquadent · 10/09/2013 23:29

"Watching fairies and house-elves do their shit. It's fascinating."

PoisonedApple · 10/09/2013 23:30

Step dog. Also he is very small, being a miniature sausage dog...

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 10/09/2013 23:30

He wouldn't ask.

He isn't a twat.

Ilanthe · 10/09/2013 23:31

Mine doesn't ask me, but if he were to the answer would be fuck off.

dreamingbohemian · 10/09/2013 23:31

Has he never had them for a full day on his own? Should sort that question out for him.

Buzzardbird · 10/09/2013 23:31

Punkaheart beat me to it.

Ilanthe · 10/09/2013 23:31

Grin at fascinating house-elves

gobbynorthernbird · 10/09/2013 23:32

I would answer that question with a well deserved kick in the willy. Or snigger. Depending.

MsVestibule · 10/09/2013 23:34

God, he wouldn't dream of asking, even now I'm a skiving SAHM with youngest DC just started Reception. He asks what I've been up to, but never in a 'what on earth do you do all day' way.

Just tell him you're happy to stop doing it, then he'll be able to see what you do, ITSWIM. Although you may have to feed the DCs and dogs.

Bogeyface · 10/09/2013 23:34

Its an old one, but it says it all.........

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He ran up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled up in the bed, still in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply, half shouting.

The smile remained, "Well, today I didn't do it."
PoisonedApple · 10/09/2013 23:35

So basically say nothing and go to a spa for the day and expect hot meal, tidy house, angelic children, cocktail and slippers on return?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 10/09/2013 23:36

Yep, pretty much. And when that doesnt materialise, ask him what on earth he did all day.

Oh, and turn your phone off so you avoid the "DC did......what do I do?......Where is the?....." etc

CatAmongThePigeons · 10/09/2013 23:37

I would answer ' the DC are hungry and I haven't changed a nappy all day. Now run along and sort them out for me, while I watch Honey Boo Boo, there's a love.'

I don't think my husband would ever ask that question, at most I get 'Hows things?'

Bogeyface · 10/09/2013 23:38

HE can only be a twat if you let him, so dont let him. Put a stop to this BS now, otherwise it will only get worse. You will eventually go back to work and still be expected to do all of the above, and he will still complain.

AnyFucker · 10/09/2013 23:39

"Did you have a lobotomy in your lunch hour, dear ?"

Bogeyface · 10/09/2013 23:39

My H is a twat in many ways but he does make me laugh when he walks in with a worried "hows it been?". Because he knows exactly how horrendous it can be on a bad day as he has been the SAHP when I was working and he was made redundant.

fossil971 · 10/09/2013 23:44

"Why don't I go out for the day on Saturday and you can find out?"
I second the idea of booking yourself into a spa. Leave him a list of jobs too: tidy bathrooms, get something for next 4 days dinners, take DC to park, etc.

AnotherStitchInTime · 10/09/2013 23:46

DH has never asked me, he knows better having been a SAHD for dd1 and having seen dd2 in action.

When you do go out for the day leave a long list of the things you would normally do that you expect to be completed by the time you return.

AngryFeet · 10/09/2013 23:47

My DH would never ever ask this. If he doesn't know he clearly hasn't spent enough time looking after the kids alone!

TidyDancer · 10/09/2013 23:51

Unless he's asking out of genuine "how was your day?" style curiosity, the only correct answer is "fuck off".

Bogeyface · 10/09/2013 23:54

ANother good answer is

"Reading this......." and hold up this book.

Wink
LuckyToHaveYouAll · 10/09/2013 23:56

When 'D'H used to ask me, I would desperately try and justify how I had managed my day, listed all my jobs, and broke it down into how long it took to do each job which I often overinflated to hide the time I used to MN or have a coffee and I would gloss over the times I took the DC out to soft play or whatever as in his eyes this didn't count. But then he is an EA bastard and I am leaving him very soon Grin. He only ever asked because he was in satisfied with the state of the house and wanted to pick apart my day to tell me how I could fit more house work in. Breaking it down is impossible though - how do you quantify time taken to change umpteen nappies or the other odd jobs like bathing the DC due to the massive poonami? I tried all sorts of responses to get him off my back, none of which worked because I was just a glorified maid to him who had to 'earn my keep' being a SAHM Hmm.

I like the spa idea best Wink.

Sorry for that little rant Blush.