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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to eat at a restaurant?

106 replies

CeliaFate · 29/08/2013 11:16

We've hired a cottage with 3 other families for a long weekend. We get on well but I find their dc a little over-whelming and stressful.

They play fight, charge round, don't respect boundaries (eg will go into my bedroom when they're at my house after I've asked them not to) and my dc generally end up getting hurt. Not all the time, but in a confined setting it's too much for me.

The other 2 families have said to save money on the first night we should all make something and have a meal together in the cottage.

I don't want to cook when I'm only away for 3 nights and I don't want our first night there to be stressful with me cooking and the kids running around.

I've said Oh we'd like to go to a restaurant as we're only there for 3 nights. This hasn't gone down well and now I feel like I'm being a mardy arse and should suck it up and do as they suggested.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/08/2013 11:18

Why exactly are you going away with them?

I think if the vast majority want to eat in then that is the way it should be. Why does your desire to eat out override their desire to save money?

If it is really a problem then you go out and leave the others in.

Original poster
CeliaFate · 29/08/2013 11:18

*should be other 3 families, not 2.

OP posts:
Original poster
CeliaFate · 29/08/2013 11:20

As I said, we get on well. It's just in a confined setting on the first night everyone's going to be over-excited or tired from the journey.

I've suggested that we go out and the others stay in but that's the bit that's not gone down well. They want us to be together for the 3 nights, but won't go out to eat.

OP posts:
Fairydogmother · 29/08/2013 11:21

Everyone can do their own thing so just go out if you want to. It can get v claustrophobic being stuck on top of other families I think

Sirzy · 29/08/2013 11:22

Over excited and tired sounds like the perfect reason to avoid a meal out especially with children involved!

Mumsyblouse · 29/08/2013 11:26

Going out to eat with lots of children who are overtired and don't respect boundaries sounds like hell to me. Perhaps it's not a great idea or they are worried it'll be too much for their excitable children, I think three nights in is fine (and perhaps one Sunday lunch out somewhere with a children's area?)

worldgonecrazy · 29/08/2013 11:39

You are not BU to want to eat out whilst on holiday.

But if it is going to cause issues, then why not suggest pizza and salad for the first night, so no one has to cook?

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 29/08/2013 11:42

Surely some sort of takeaway/easy meal is an ideal compromise? :)

waltzingmathilda · 29/08/2013 11:42

Are you all joined at the hip? Why cant you have your own plans? BTW other peoples children are PITA where you in the grip of temporary insanity when you agreed to this weekend away?

MaxPepsi · 29/08/2013 11:45

Erm, it's your break too.

Why should they get to dictate what you are doing?

Turn it round and tell them if they are happy to cook for you and your tribe then fine you will stay in. However you don't want to cook so it's either you go out, or you contribute frozen pizza.

Floggingmolly · 29/08/2013 11:47

If the children are a PITA when visiting your house, you should have had some inkling that basically living with them all wouldn't go to smoothly? Confused. Why possessed you?

Go to a restaurant with your own family if you need some space.

nextphase · 29/08/2013 11:53

I second / third either a mass of pizze and salad, or takeaway.
Eat at home - no piling everyone out, but easy food and minimal washing up.

Followed by icecream?

Bunbaker · 29/08/2013 11:53

Why have you booked what sounds like a nightmare weekend?

It is one of the reasons why we never go away with other people. I know too many "friends" who have come back from holiday not speaking to each other.

I agree that a takeaway sounds like a good idea. Or you and/or someone else could cook a huge lasagne or something similar, freeze it (this makes it easy to transport) and get others to bring garlic bread, salad, pudding etc.

axure · 29/08/2013 11:56

How are you getting to the cottage? Could you make something to take with you? Just get a few Wine down you and you'll hardly notice the kids, relax and enjoy a few days away.

HomeHelpMeGawd · 29/08/2013 12:03

We went away with other families for a long weekend, and on the first night we ate some Cook lasagnes* we'd brought with us, plus some garlic bread. It was delish and easy and fun.

*I'm sure other brands are also excellent...

LeaveTheBastid · 29/08/2013 12:12

You want to go out with a bunch of overtired overexcited kids to eat?

I think I'd be staying in to eat the first night and then eating out the next night, with or without the other families.

Why exactly do they get to dictate what and where you eat on your holiday? Hmm

idiot55 · 29/08/2013 12:15

Make something to take and heat, a casserole, lasagne, paella etc etc

Original poster
CeliaFate · 29/08/2013 12:23

I must have been mad to agree to it mustn't I?
I'm not really a "group holiday" type of person, but we agreed to it thinking it'd be a laugh when we were pissed.

I've already made myself persona non grata by saying we didn't want to eat in on the first night, I'll have to suck it up and cook something to reheat and never fucking book to go away with other people again.

OP posts:
ViviPru · 29/08/2013 12:26

Whenever we go away anywhere self catering either just us or in a group as we often do we tend to always just take something quick and easy to heat up and share the first night. Everyone's knackered from the week and usually once we've eventually got in and settled and had a drink no-one CBA to go out. Add rowdy children into the mix and the thought of having a nice meal out looks even less appealing.

If one couple in the group were keen to go out I'd be happy for them to do so, but I would probably decline joining them.

They're BU if they expect you to all stand and cook that evening but and equally U to dictate to you that you can't go out if you so desire (or make you feel bad for making that choice) Equally though, you can't expect them to want to go out that night (I'd not want to) but that is not what you seem to be saying here.

So on balance YABU - but really, surely staying in and heating up a chilli together sinking a bottle or two and catching up with friends is far preferable to going out to eat on the first night either as a group or alone with your family?

ViviPru · 29/08/2013 12:27

YANBU I mean!!!!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 29/08/2013 12:28

i would do the one night in together and go out the rest

ENormaSnob · 29/08/2013 12:28

I think eating out would be a pita on the first night, but, if that suits you and your family then do that and leave them to it.

When we go away we take a pre made curry/chilli or deli pizza or those supermarket take away things for the first night. No cooking or stress involved.

Jollyb · 29/08/2013 12:29

If you're eating out for the next 2 nights (and presumably during the day too) I don't think it's unreasonable to spend your first night in.

I second what a PP said - cook lasagnes, garlic bread and salad- plus a large glass of white wine. Much easier than going out.

ViviPru · 29/08/2013 12:30

You bring the chilli, I'll bring the rice and nachos

DontmindifIdo · 29/08/2013 12:35

Eating out with overtired DCs who don't do boundaries after having just kept them cooped up in a car on the way there will be hellish, not relaxing at all. The parents are probably thinking it would be far nicer for everyone to eat at the cottage so if their nightmare brats little darlings aren't able to sit nicely they can just let them go play with their toys in the cottage or play in the garden if you're able to eat outside and the grown ups can relax and eat.

I would reassess the plans, cooking around those DCs sounds hell, so why not agree each night two of the families bring enough of something for everyone that can be reheated (lagsange? cottage pie etc) and the third night you'll either eat out or have a take away (depending on the DCs). Far easier than trying to contain the DCs in a restaurant and slightly dying of embarrassment. That way everyone only has to cook once (and in advance).