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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about a 10 month old being held upside down by his ankles?

32 replies

PongoPongo · 10/08/2013 23:35

I have a very dear friend with a 10mo. He loves to hang the baby upside down by his ankles, sometimes jiggling him up and down. He does it while standing up, so baby is a foot or two off the ground.

Today he did it over a slate tiles outside for quite a long time while talking to friends. The child seems to enjoy it.

I've never said anything to the dad as I don't want to upset him or be judgey, but it is starting to make feel stressed when I see it.

AIBU to worry about the dad doing this?

Should I say something? I never comment on other people's parenting and usually think it's not my business, but this really does worry me.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 10/08/2013 23:36

YABU

CookieLady · 10/08/2013 23:37

YABU.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/08/2013 23:38

YABU.

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 10/08/2013 23:38

YANBU to worry but I'm not sure you should say anything. The child enjoys it. I don't know, I've never seen anyone doing this.

Are you worried they'll drop the child and they'll bang their head badly?

HaroldLloyd · 10/08/2013 23:38

YABU

Original poster
PongoPongo · 10/08/2013 23:42

Yes, I'm worried he will drop the child on its head.

OK, helpful to know I'm being unreasonable. Thanks for the perspective. I may just be getting in a tizz.

OP posts:
lola88 · 10/08/2013 23:44

You'd have a heart attack if you seen DP fling DS and DN around they love it it's like a day at alton towers for them.

yourcruisedirector · 10/08/2013 23:45

YABU in this situation I think. We've done it with DD as she loves it, though more an upside down cuddle at that stage. We've always been very physical with her and she has paid us back with terrifying feats of agility and over-confidence. I wish we'd mollycoddled her a bite more Wink

BlackeyedSusan · 10/08/2013 23:45

you could tell him it makes you feel peculiar and upset, just like some people can't go on a balcony or walk along a slatted pier, and could he not do it while you are around.

I can happily dangle ds upside down, but turn a funny colour if anyone else does it, even if they are stronger...

breatheslowly · 10/08/2013 23:48

YABU DD has loved this as far back as I can remember. I'd not be keen on it over a slate floor, but I think it would be hard to drop a child as their feet are in the way of them sliding down.

Original poster
PongoPongo · 10/08/2013 23:50

hmm, ok, so seems I am a bit unreasonable. Fair enough. I'm a lawyer and I read a lot of cases about bad things happening to children and have a rather skewed perspective --- tend to see risk everywhere, so is helpful to get a reality check.

thank you!

OP posts:
OutragedFromLeeds · 10/08/2013 23:51

Kids like being dangled upside down.

As long as he isn't doing it whilst drunk or out of a window or something then YABU.

ukatlast · 11/08/2013 02:21

YANBU I would have to say something as I couldn't watch. It's an accident waiting to happen. Some people (especially men) are wilfully blind to danger...

ukatlast · 11/08/2013 02:22

I'd be worried that he was shaking the brain by doing this too - definitely not a good idea.

Jolleigh · 11/08/2013 02:25

As a worrier myself, I dont think YABU but I'd also advise not to mention it.

If we all questioned eachother when we saw some parenting we thought could be improved, we'd be at each other's throats all the time.

And I doubt your friend would stop as he obviously feels he's holding the child securely.

Chottie · 11/08/2013 03:08

OP I would feel uneasy too.

RememberingMyPFEs · 11/08/2013 03:16

YABU
Our Chiro has shown us how to do this daily to help DD realignment after traumatic birth. Perhaps the same is/was true in this case. With the right grip it's very safe and DD finds it very calming!

TheFallenNinja · 11/08/2013 08:53

My DD is 9m and one of the daily checks is spending at least some time upside down, she loves it.

Ilovemyself · 11/08/2013 09:18

Omg. I can see that some people obviously worry about everything and keep their children wrapped in cotton wool or bubble wrap. ( not aimed at the OP but some of the replies)

I am a born worrier, but I can easily understand when it is a dangerous practice that is likely to end in an injury and something where it is possible ( but unlikely) for something to happen.

Ukatlast. I can't believe your comment. Willfully blind to danger! More like we can make a reasonable decision based on a risk assessment and are not going to ban or stop everything with the slightest risk. What next? Telling people not to let their children ride bicycles? 13 child cyclists where killed in 2012 - a terrible number. But we still want our children to ride bikes. I can't find any figures for children being seriously injured or killed by parents dropping them on their head so either it is a negligible risk and not happening or it is a big cover up.............

JenaiMorris · 11/08/2013 10:37

Surely this is no good for a baby's ankles?

As for the chiropractor theory, I err on the side of chiropractise being tosh. Not all of it I'm sure, just a fair bit, so even if that theory is correct I still wouldn't think it was a good idea.

SpeedwellBlue · 11/08/2013 10:42

Fine to do it if the child likes it but odd to do it for a long time i would think

catgirl1976 · 11/08/2013 11:04

DH is always spinning DS around by his feet.

DS loves it. I worry about his little brain getting bounced around, or his joints giving way, or DH dropping him.

However, I have been told by everyone (DH, DM, DAunt, DF, Dsis, etc, etc) that I am being totally PFB and he's fine and enjoying it.

So I know how you feel but we are BU

maja00 · 11/08/2013 11:09

I do this to my 3 year old still Blush

I'll have to stop soon though as I am only 5'1" and his head is barely off the ground now Grin

ukatlast · 11/08/2013 11:23

Of course children have to take risks as they grow but this is an adult deliberately doing something totally unnecessary to a young baby - he and his partner are the ones who would have to live with the consequences of looking after an injured child. 'Rough housing' is best done on a bed/soft surface.
We are talking about a 10 month old...jiggling brain not a good idea. What's wrong with a tickle fgs?

You take whatever risks you want with your kids but don't expect me to condone it - I wouldn't have allowed it with mine. I certainly couldn't watch and be relaxed. So I would point out my concerns to a good friend politely.

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