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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

and oversensitive when my DH makes negative comments about magazines I read or TV programmes I watch?

82 replies

mum2bubble · 02/08/2013 01:28

My mum sometimes passes on old magazines for me to read and I'm happy to flick through the odd copy of 'OK', Woman's Own etc. I also enjoy fairly lightweight TV programmes on occasion, eg BINTM or Sex and the City or US sitcoms. But if my DH sees me reading/watching these he always remarks (with a raised eyebrow) 'what's THAT you're reading/watching??' The implication to me is that he disapproves. I actively hide the 'evidence' of these things now or simply don't read/watch them as I just can't be arsed with the judgy comments. So AIBU and a bit paranoid or is he BU?

OP posts:
Teeb · 02/08/2013 01:34

I can understand how it could become annoying, but it's probably how a lot if women feel/behave when their partners are watching sport or action movies.

wtf1981 · 02/08/2013 02:06

Just tell him it's light entertainment, not harming anyone and to chill out! Or make jokes about it ie oh golly I can't wait to see what so and so from corrie has for breakfast! Or, just ask outright what his problem is! Let us know :)

thebody · 02/08/2013 05:24

he sounds a twat to he honest. as an adult woman you can read/ watch what you choose.

LoveBeingItsABoy · 02/08/2013 05:27

I would be horribly sarcastic I'm afraid. Please do not hide this stuff though. In fact go and get them all and place them all over the house Grin

mirai · 02/08/2013 05:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rabbitlady · 02/08/2013 05:35

its up to you, not him.

TroublesomeEx · 02/08/2013 06:50

Does he think you're above all that nonsense?

MortifiedAdams · 02/08/2013 06:55

"This? Oh, it is a magazine, darling. Lots of pages of interesting and entertaining nonsense in which one can lose oneself"

"This? It is Sex and the City, darling. A lightweight, enterntaining sitcom designed to take oneself out of the trials and tribulations of everyday life"

Do not hide this! He doesnt own you!

Yonionekanobe · 02/08/2013 07:00

DH is like that about MN Hmm!

wigglesrock · 02/08/2013 07:01

Just tell him to piss off. Honestly I do it all the time. My husband despairs of my musical taste - if he gets into the car and something less wah wah look at me than Radiohead is on the iPod - he rolls his eyes, I either tell him to piss off or quite simply ignore him.

I do the same to him, you dont have to have the same taste but you've got to stop hiding your stuff and not entertain any nonsense about his tastes being more "highbrow" than yours.

livinginwonderland · 02/08/2013 07:01

Well, I'm betting most people say similar to their partners. My DP is obsessed with video games and I always jokingly roll my eyes when he gets a new one or plays them for hours. He does the same to me when I watch Kitchen Nightmares and Come Dine With Me.

I doubt he's being serious, he'll just be joking around.

OrangeLily · 02/08/2013 07:04

Me and DH do this to each other but its just light hearted banter. Does it bother you that much?

TobyLerone · 02/08/2013 07:07

I don't get why you care Confused

DH watches terribly worthy things like historical/political dramas, which are deathly dull to me. I tell him they're dull, we laugh about it, he watches them, I do something else. That's the end of it.

TroublesomeEx · 02/08/2013 07:16

My exH was a bit like this about anything I watched too.

If it wasn't Star Trek or some approved by him US series (e.g. The Walking Dead; Heroes; that sort of thing) then he'd get really snooty about it.

Since separating and moving back in with his parents he's bragged to me on several occasions "if it's on TV, I don't watch it" or "I don't watch TV anymore" but always with a subtext of "so I'm better than you..."

Except that his mum and my son have both said that the reason he doesn't watch TV is because he spends hours at home in the evening playing video games.

Yup, you can real claim the intellectual/cultural high ground when you're playing Arkham Asylum (or whatever he's playing now)!

Just ignore him.

CoTananat · 02/08/2013 07:19

Some people have a terrible sense of intellectual insecurity that they must constantly prop up by performing right thinking. So they can only have literary novels on the their bookshelves or watch specific shows that support their character. They can't break character because its connected to their sense of self worth and identity - it's not about the actual show/book/movie.

Often they're happy to watch popular entertainment only when the populace that it once entertained is safely dead and they can't be mistaken for them (Shakespeare, opera etc). Or if there's sufficient distance of culture in some other way.

It must be pretty rotten to be them. Feel bad for them, OP. Enjoy your Take A Break!

tumbletumble · 02/08/2013 07:22

Maybe in a weird way it's a compliment to you, ie he thinks of you as an intelligent woman, not an airhead? I don't mean you have to be an airhead to enjoy this things, but that's obviously your DH's perspective.

Definitely don't hide them from him! Tell him to stop bothering you and let you enjoy your dose of trash.

CreatureRetorts · 02/08/2013 07:23

Grin my DH does this and I don't listen to music I like now. So now reading this thread I will. still have no shame about take a break mags though

exoticfruits · 02/08/2013 07:23

I wouldn't hide it. Just ask him what his problem is? I bet he can't justify it without sounding precious.

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 02/08/2013 07:55

DH does this sometimes. I used to get a little upset that he dismissed some tv programmes I enjoy as 'crap', but I now don't care. I've taken to saying "Of course you think it is; you are not the target audience" this combined with the odd eye roll about Total Fishing, or How It's Made and he barely comments now!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 02/08/2013 07:57

Why hide it?
Look him in the eye and say "it's X, why?"
And if he actually says anything negative, then just say well, I like to unwind with it, much as you unwind with Y. Is it a problem to you?

Just speak up.
Don't be ruled by a raised bloody eyebrow!

Tabliope · 02/08/2013 07:58

I think CoTananat has hit the nail on the head. Used to read proper books myself but now only read 'crap' - very liberating not to have to feel you have to read high brow stuff anymore. I didn't enjoy 90% of it anyway, most very boring.

I think it's not nice behaviour from the OP's DH. It's, to me, a control thing and I think he's looking down on her. You must be straight with him and tell him to piss off.

ithaka · 02/08/2013 08:00

My DH can be like this - do I care? No. I think most of what he watchs/listens to can be a bit rubbish. We laugh at each others poor taste - it is called having fun. We rib the children's rotten taste as well - we are not naice to each other.

Chopsypie · 02/08/2013 08:06

My DH does this, but then I always find the magazines next to the toilet and I don't read in there!

mameulah · 02/08/2013 08:06

I had a bit of that. Then I made a point of really looking at how my dh spent his time.

I then said 'when you blablabla' you chill. Same when I am reading trashy whatever. I don't see why you need to work hard to give me a rubbish feeling about it?'

Don't make it okay for him to be mean about how you chill.

mrsjay · 02/08/2013 08:12

watch and red what you like what harm are you doing to anybody please don't hide the things you enjoy, I watch some crap ontv and dh will rolll his eyes but he also watches crap that I don't like, your husband is being rude and disrespectful