and oversensitive when my DH makes negative comments about magazines I read or TV programmes I watch?

[mum2bubble]

My mum sometimes passes on old magazines for me to read and I'm happy to flick through the odd copy of 'OK', Woman's Own etc. I also enjoy fairly lightweight TV programmes on occasion, eg BINTM or Sex and the City or US sitcoms. But if my DH sees me reading/watching these he always remarks (with a raised eyebrow) 'what's THAT you're reading/watching??' The implication to me is that he disapproves. I actively hide the 'evidence' of these things now or simply don't read/watch them as I just can't be arsed with the judgy comments. So AIBU and a bit paranoid or is he BU?

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Gah DH says this to me and says its 'embarrassing' when I watch things like Keeping Up With The Kardashians if his mum or dad are in the house. I just tell him to piss off, that I am an intelligent grown woman who can watch what I like!

He does watch a lot of war/engineering documentaries, but one of his favourite programmes is celebrity juice when I point out the hypocrisy he usually pipes down!

Oh dear, i do this to my DH when he's laughing at JackAss or some such rubbish! and then I go and have a bath! . I hope I'm not making him insecure but somehow I doubt it. and he knows that the easiest way to get to leave the room is to turn his music racket on, I really can't stand the noise [feeling old emoticon]

I enjoy BINTM too.

Dh does eye roll when I say I'm turning it over to watch, funnily enough he stays in the room and watches it with me, actually commenting on what's going on and how Elle has the look of a dead eyed shark enjoying the kill when she gives the girl her marching orders!

Just ignore him and don't hie stuff just to avoid his sarcy comments!

Yes, agree with others.
Don't you dare start curtailing what gives you pleasure to avoid him being a wanker.

If he says 'what are you watching/reading' look straight at him and have half a dozen replies ready

It's a light entertainment programme which I enjoy - have we banned fun this week?
It's a magazine. Is it bothering you? I won't be long, you could always go out if there is any dangers that you will become too distressed.
It's a programme called 'wtf is it to do with you'
I am relaxing. It's just like when you watched that insufferable shite last night - you know, while I didn't complain because it's how you relax.

Or personally my choice 'it a programme I like. Why? Why do you always ask me in that snotty way. Do you not like it when I relax. I thought we were supposed to care about each other so why do you try to make me fel bad for how I chose to relax. Why do you keep doing tht?

OP does he really go on so much that it is upsetting you or you dont want to upset him or something, most people watch some sort of rubbish tv it isn't all news night or BBC4 (although i love BBC4) keep watching your programmes dont let him get to you,

Or personally my choice 'it a programme I like. Why? Why do you always ask me in that snotty way. Do you not like it when I relax. I thought we were supposed to care about each other so why do you try to make me fel bad for how I chose to relax. Why do you keep doing tht?

that

My dh does this. I don't know why he does but I don't get affected by it. I just ignore him and carry on.
Don't start hiding stuff. Its not like you're doing anything unusual or abnormal. He is BU. Use some of the excellent comebacks you've got here.

I think you're probably being a bit oversensitive tbh - my dh and me rib each other about what we watch all the time (i'm usually watching crap, he watches the high brow stuff - I pick holes in the historical validity of what he's watching as revenge for him complaining about the apprentice!). Must admit though that sometimes I do think he has a point, particularly as our dc are getting older - there is stuff I watch that I really don't want my dd to get into the habit of watching. Is it controversial to say that I think we maybe should be more discerning about what we watch/read. It's easy to sink into reading/watching rubbish but not sure that it is the best use of time!

OP, you are your own person, you can read what you like, watch what you like, listen to what you like. He is not your Dad. Stand up for the person you are not the person he thinks you should be. By hiding away the things he does not approve of you are enabling his behaviour and feeding his sense of superiority. Next time he asks " what's that your reading" say" oh, it's a very interesting article on husbands who think their wives have inferior tastes in reading matter etc. and what complete wankers they are".

I think we maybe should be more discerning about what we watch/read.

but if it is 9 oclock on a random weeknight what else should we be doing personally i watch Gyspy sisters

Depends how he means it and how you take it.

Dp and I do this but it is never serious - he will roll his eyes at me watching BNTM but will half-watch it with me while he's on laptop and make snarky comments together. And I will make comments about the yawnsome documentaries he puts on. But no-one gets hurt feelings, and other than those two extremes, we have similar TV taste so normally watch things we both like.

But if you feel hurt and embarrassed at your dh's sneery reaction then yes, IMO there is a problem that needs sorting out. My dad used to be really horrible about my mum watching Coronation St - he got her to stop watching Eastenders but she would never give up Corrie. It really created an atmosphere a lot of the time and even as a child I thought he was being awful. But then he was like that about a lot of things. We couldn't watch game shows or anything popular or "mindless".
They are divorced now, unsurprisingly!

I hope you mum managed to get back into her eastenders bitchy my dad is the same with my mum about the soaps she is allowed to watch them apparently

My reply to his comments would be, "I dont give two shits what you think about my mags/programmes. If you dont like them then sod off out"
I watch and read the same things as you and my DH always laughingly (is that a word?..not sure) refers to them as my 'crap' he watches some or will go pottering about.
Why on earth does it bother you?

In this situation I used to get all huffy. I watch a lot of old stuff - Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie etc and he was very scathing. One day I just burst out laughing at him and asked when he got so uptight. He looked very and has since shut up about what I watch, even gets hooked himself sometimes. I think entering into confrontation doesn't actually work in these situations. If you take the power out of his opinion by showing that you don't give a toss what he thinks (by laughing or using sarcasm) the raised eyebrow will stop.

Make him see how daft he's being and how daft you think he is by behaving that way. Stand up for yourself! You are an individual and you have individual likes - thats healthy and normal, don't stifle it.

Life's too short to worry about what other people think. I relax how I want to. He is welcome to relax his way.

The best bit was when he came home and I was watching the first episode of the Voice. He was so vocal about how awful it was etc. I think he forgets that I know him inside out sometimes. I just looked at him and said "that's why it's good, so are you going to sit down then?" He grinned and sat down and got really into it, in fact we dashed back from days out to watch it together. It was crappy mindless tv but we had a laugh watching it together. I think like a PP said, sometimes people seem to think that by showing anything other than scorn for rubbishy media they are risking being seem as an idiot which is, of course, utter bollocks.

morning all - what an uplifting bunch of replies
livinginwonderland he IS serious, definitely, which is why I find it a problem. Absolutely no humour involved.
Cotananat you've touched on what my DM has said about it - he definitely has a chip on his shoulder possibly 'cos I've got a degree and he hasn't
ImTooHecsyForYourParty inspired by all these excellent retorts I will most definitely speak up next time.
Pagwatch fantastic suggestions - thank you
and OverTheFieldsAndFarAway your suggestion might be my favourite
MNetters - you've given me the confidence and material to retaliate

This gets my goat. My dh does this to me.
I like watching a bit of trash tv, and a few trashy magazines. I don't stand over him saying ' urgh, you're not watching rugby again?' Or 'what did you record that match for? You've already seen it!'. Which is what he watches. I say nothing, but if I'm in the room and want to watch tv, we will switch over for each other as we do tend to like to watch the same documentaries, dramas and so on.

Tell him he is starting to sound like a jumped up twat. Who is he anyway, the Literary Police?

If reading trashy books and magazines made my DH happy I'd be delighted. Nothing nicer than a happy spouse, is there?

Sounds like his issue OP. Just tell him it's what you enjoy and it's relaxing. If he keeps digging tell him between studying for your degree and working you get a lot of mental and intellectual stimulation and don't need to add more in your 'off time', instead you relax with easy watching and reading. Might shut him up and make him realise it's his issue

My exP was very much like this about the TV I watched. He would say it as a joke but with the undercurrent that he was better than me. One thing he would really go OTT in eye-rolling about was shows such as X-Factor and BGT. He would always sit in the living room with me when they were on though, and moan the whole way through. I went out one evening with friends but ended up coming home early to find him sat watching X-Factor at home alone! Think he had been making such a big deal of criticising the things I was watching to make it seem like he was suffering through them and hide the fact he was actually enjoying them. Needless to say he stopped complaining about them after.

mum2bubble, I thought overthefieldsandfaraways suggestion really good too.

The answer to what you have to say is in your last post - i.e. "DH, I did so much serious reading etc when I did my degree I no longer feel I have the need to prove myself." That should shut him up.

It depends how he does it. I had an EA ex who acted this way, but it got really horrible and it was a way of controlling and undermining me.

He was very, very arrogant and very, very insecure. I was actually a lot brighter than him, and he really couldn't cope with it. If I so much as looked at a 'trashy' book he would sneer and needle away at me until I felt awful. It was the same with music, hobbies, etc. Everything I enjoyed, he belittled. I used to have a horse, and he informed me that 'girls only go horse riding because they like the feeling it gives them between their legs' Yet this bloke thought that Family Guy was the height of comic genius, thought that a sparrow was a bird of prey, and that Ovid was part of a woman's reproductive organs.

Now with my lovely DH, he has a laugh at my odd taste in music and I have a laugh at his love of Nazi horror films (Nazis fighting aliens anybody?) and it's all good natured.

Sorry, bit of a rant there.